I really don't know what to do.

ellessij

ellessij

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Update: So today I'm running errands (trying to find Lego Minecraft for my son because he LOVES Minecraft). The babysitter calls me and tells me he is in my house looking for my car keys. My friend drove us in her car, and he came over and saw I wasn't there so decided to take my car. I hid the keys and the babysitter said he was cursing and ranting and going through my things saying "This bytch hid the fukking keys."

He left shortly after. I haven't tried to call or confront him, I am not the confrontational type. I know he is going to cause a scene. Crying is doing me no good but I am all alone and I just I just don't I'm scared I don't know. I cannot even believe this has escalated to this. It IS MY CAR.
 
Blackout

Blackout

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Jisselle said:
Update: So today I'm running errands (trying to find Lego Minecraft for my son because he LOVES Minecraft). The babysitter calls me and tells me he is in my house looking for my car keys. My friend drove us in her car, and he came over and saw I wasn't there so decided to take my car. I hid the keys and the babysitter said he was cursing and ranting and going through my things saying "This bytch hid the fukking keys."

He left shortly after. I haven't tried to call or confront him, I am not the confrontational type. I know he is going to cause a scene. Crying is doing me no good but I am all alone and I just I just don't I'm scared I don't know. I cannot even believe this has escalated to this. It IS MY CAR.
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Good to see that you took the big first step.:salute:
 
gogogubari

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YERDMEH
go park your car where he doesn't see it for a quick fix, but ultimately you're gonna have to take a more take drastic approach to permanently rectify the situation. I'm still praying xoxoxoxoxo :therethere:
 
Y

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This has been very heartbreaking to read. I have done some research on domestic violence in Trinidad and Tobago and you should know that you are not alone. As a whole Trinidad has taking several steps to help victims of domestic violence. Mainly, in 1999 the country passed The Domestic Violence Act (http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/population/domesticviolence/trinidad.dv.99.pdf) and made it stronger in 2006 (http://rgd.legalaffairs.gov.tt/laws2/alphabetical_list/lawspdfs/45.56.pdf). From what I've read of the initial act it seems like your ex husbands actions directly violate the act. Specifically part 1, section 3.

“domestic violence” includes physical, sexual, emotional or psychological or financial abuse committed by a person against a spouse, child, any other person who is a member of the household or dependant;

“emotional or psychological abuse” means a pattern of behaviour of any kind, the purpose of which is to undermine the emotional or mental well-being of a person including​

(a) persistent intimidation by the use of abusive or threatening language; (b) persistent following of the person from place to place; (c) depriving that person of the use of his property; (d) the watching or besetting of the place where the person resides, works, carries on business or happens to be; (e) interfering with or damaging the property of the person; (f) the forced confinement of the person; (g) persistent telephoning of the person at the person’s place of residence or work; and (h) making unwelcome and repeated or intimidatory contact with a child or elderly relative of the person;​
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Now the main path of action is to file for a protective order. What this will do is explained in part 2 section 6...
6. (1) A Protection Order may a) prohibit the respondent from— (i) engaging or threatening to engage in conduct which would constitute domestic violence towards the applicant; (ii) being on premises specified in the Order, that are premises frequented by the applicant including any residence, property, business, school or place of employment; (iii) being in a locality specified in the Order; (iv) engaging in direct or indirect communication with the applicant; (v) taking possession of, damaging, converting or otherwise dealing with property that the applicant may have an interest in, or is reasonably used by the applicant, as the case may be; (vi) approaching the applicant within a specified distance; (vii) causing or encouraging another person to engage in conduct referred to in paragraphs (i) to (vi);​
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It would also
(c) direct that the respondent— (i) return to the applicant specified property that is in his possession or under his control; (ii) pay compensation for monetary loss incurred by an applicant as a direct result of conduct that amounted to domestic violence; (iii) pay interim monetary relief to the applicant for the benefit of the applicant and any child, where there is no existing order relating to maintenance until such time as an obligation for support is determined, pursuant to any other written law; (iv) immediately vacate any place or residence for a specified period, whether or not the residence is jointly owned or leased by the respondent and the applicant, or solely owned or leased by the respondent or the applicant; (v) relinquish to the police any firearm licence, firearm or other weapon which he may have in his possession or control and which may or may not have been used; (vi) make or continue to make payments in respect of rent or mortgage payments for premises occupied by the applicant; (vii) ensure that reasonable care is provided in respect of a child or dependant person; (viii) or applicant or both, receive professional counselling or therapy from any person or agency or from a programme which is approved by the Minister in writing.​
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I think objectively the best thing to do is to file a protective order. It was literally tailor made for your circumstances. The procedure for filing a protective order can be found here - http://www.ttlawcourts.org/index.php/public-guidance/faqs/magistrates-court/domestic-violence
Q. What is the procedure to obtain a protection order?

A. The procedure to obtain a protection order is listed as follows:
i. The applicant goes to the court’s registry at the respective Magistrate’s court;
ii. The applicant speaks to the Clerk of the Peace, who identifies the problem and determines whether it is a domestic violence matter or a matter for another court;
iii. Applicant pays $3.00 in cash or the value of $3.00 in stamps for filing a domestic violence complaint;
iv. The Clerk of the Peace then prepares the complaint and summons and at the same time fixes the date of hearing within seven days of filing of the application;
v. The applicant is required to sign the complaint;
vi. The applicant takes the summons to be served on respondent to the police or may be served by the applicant or his/her agent;
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keepemup

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Jisselle said:
Sigh.

I really don't know what to do. Occasionally I'll loan my car to my ex when he as important things to do, especially things pertaining to our son. Today he asked me to borrow it and I refused him because I had to go out, when I turned around to go back inside, he took the keys right off the key rack and left in my car.
I'm not even kidding.

He doesn't answer my calls then texts me and says he'll have it back by 9:45. That's in half an hour. I thought about calling the cops but I don't want the drama that can unfold after he gets released. I am terrified to argue because he is really mean and fights back harder and meaner. I just don't really know what to do right now and I'm all alone. Do I just take my keys and then what?

Coli brehettes please help me out, sitting here crying my eyes out isn't getting much done. Why do some men just take advantage of women like this? Because he's much bigger it's not like I can snatch back my own keys. I don't know.

@Spike Tarantino, @Rawtid @Spotlessmind help me out here.
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This may sound silly. But if you've got a smartphone perhaps you can start recording all these interactions that you guys are having in hopes to building a case against him so that he'll be occupied for some time until you can formulate a plan to insulate yourself from his buffoonery.
 
mcdivit85

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Sound Reasoning
1. File a complaint whenever he crosses the line, so there is precedence for a restraining order. File a restraining order.

2. As others have stated, some men from your family tuning him up would be optimal

3. Park your car in a undisclosed location in the meantime close to your home but not immediately visible. Also, continue to hide your keys.

4. Sounds like you're afraid of any type of physical confrontation...even with a weapon. Have you thought of mace and/or a taser? This way, you debilitate him, grab your keys, grab your child and get to safety.

5. Move, if possible.

Peace
 
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