I hate having sex with my fiance. But it’s too late to call off the wedding

[Bossino]

I didn't read the article, but I say this all the time.

If you get 80% or more of that you want you better keep their azz.

Fellas be wanting somebody to fukk and suck them like a pornstar, high sex drive, attractive enough, cook, clean, wash their dirty draws, have some level of independence financially/emotionally, be submissive, knows when to be quiet, intelligent, business oriented, educated, etc.

You're rarely ever going to get all that in one package, that isn't how people work typically they'll be flawed in some way or another it just depends on what you want to deal with.

This is cap to some degree, people are largely ignoring the fall off in expectations for the fairer sex. p*ssy is like pizza, even bad/low quality pizza is decent off the strength of being pizza. Little Caesars ain't a luxury but at $5 it's just fine, hell some think it's top flight. What men need at this point is the bolded and that is hard to find. Only simpletons think they'll get all the boxes, but necessities ain't out here like that

 

[Bossino]

This is why I smh at dudes who complain about girls chasing the men that they WANT. If you rather a chick "settle" for the 'nice guy' that you claim to be, this is what you get.

At the end of the day, you win some you lose some.

If you want a super attractive 'dime' then he/she will have their money flaws and personality flaws.
If you want a super stable 'good' spouse then he/she will have their 'fun' flaws and sexy flaws.

pick your poison.

The latter ain't even on the table most will take a good spouse looking like plain janes, but most are built like whales or have severe damage to their mental emotional. Plain Janes throw makeup and filters on and think they're somebody nowadays, so they're not even good spouses

 

[CarmelBarbie]

12 pages though? I’ve said in many other threads about these kind of situations—that there are many women who will overlook attraction and sex for a man who is good on paper because she is desperate for marriage and kids. And then a few years into the marriage after the baby comes it becomes a dead bedroom, she cheats or she divorces.

I wish people would stop telling women that looks and sex don’t matter as long as he’s xyz. It does matter to women just as much as it does to men and it’s a disservice to men and women when people pretend that it doesn’t.

She forced herself to like him because they got along, she knew he liked her, and she knew she could get a commitment out of him. There was probably no real chemistry. And unfortunately sexual chemistry can’t be taught or forced. Communication won’t fix this issue. She’s not attracted, and he isn’t that good in bed compared to who she’s been with. It just is what it is.

She’s full of shyt for saying it’s too late to call off the wedding. It’s not. She’s just afraid to be back in the market again. I have a friend who ended an engagement and a relationship because she said her man couldn’t fukk. I have a friend who dumped a guy she was seeing a few weeks ago because she said in addition to him being inconsistent, his sex wasn’t good and it just wasn’t worth it. Some women don’t care about sex like that so they can make do with mediocre sex lives. Others can’t. For me it’s a deal breaker. If it’s not good I don’t want it. If he doesn’t want to do it as much as I do, then I don’t want it. Sexual compatibility matters.

I feel bad for him though. He doesn’t even know.

 

[MaxPain]

Basically this is what happened to my ex uncle in law except my whore aunt stretched it out for atleast 15 years then bailed once he lost his job.

 

[yung Herbie Hancock]

She's wasted her prime years of her life, she needs to lower her standards & settle.

Sounds like throughout her prime years she was smutted out by white boys who had a fetish for Indian chicks. None of them upgraded to a real relationship.

Now she is 35, she is faced with either settling or risk it all to find the man she desires

No she doesn't. When will you simps understand that if a woman settled for you, she will likely cheat on you later on. SMH. Yall need to stop trying to get women to settle, that's how divorce happens.

 

[yung Herbie Hancock]

12 pages though? I’ve said in many other threads about these kind of situations—that there are many women who will overlook attraction and sex for a man who is good on paper because she is desperate for marriage and kids. And then a few years into the marriage after the baby comes it becomes a dead bedroom, she cheats or she divorces.

I wish people would stop telling women that looks and sex don’t matter as long as he’s xyz. It does matter to women just as much as it does to men and it’s a disservice to men and women when people pretend that it doesn’t.

She forced herself to like him because they got along, she knew he liked her, and she knew she could get a commitment out of him. There was probably no real chemistry. And unfortunately sexual chemistry can’t be taught or forced. Communication won’t fix this issue. She’s not attracted, and he isn’t that good in bed compared to who she’s been with. It just is what it is.

She’s full of shyt for saying it’s too late to call off the wedding. It’s not. She’s just afraid to be back in the market again. I have a friend who ended an engagement and a relationship because she said her man couldn’t fukk. I have a friend who dumped a guy she was seeing a few weeks ago because she said in addition to him being inconsistent, his sex wasn’t good and it just wasn’t worth it. Some women don’t care about sex like that so they can make do with mediocre sex lives. Others can’t. For me it’s a deal breaker. If it’s not good I don’t want it. If he doesn’t want to do it as much as I do, then I don’t want it. Sexual compatibility matters.

I feel bad for him though. He doesn’t even know.

Exactly, these simps want women to coerce women into settling for them. Women should go with who they are sexually attracted to. At the same time though, women have to stop going after men they aren't attracted to because those men have resources. It's a lot of rich simps in relationships who don't know that the only reason their wives are with them is because they have money.

 

[Umoja]

Do you realise that we make impulse/split-second decisions every day of our lives? If we spent forever giving opportunities to things/people, we'd never get anywhere.

All I'm saying is, if the physical attraction isn't there to begin with, when you get into situations with your partner where it's supposed to be a celebration of physical attraction, you're gonna feel very short-changed and it will trickle down into other aspects of the relationship too.

What should the ideal approach be based on?

Do you buy a home on impulse?

What kind of foolishness are you talking my bredda? There are some decisions we make on impulse e.g. what sandwich to buy at the deli and there are some decisions require careful consideration.

Marriage is one of those decisions that should be determined by more than your initial reaction. Moreover attraction is actually something that can develop over time. We are not bound by our initial impression and, for some, attraction is more than what they see in a first meeting.

You think they saw she was trife and a headache so they got rid of her?

Yeah but I think what I said could do with some rephrasing.

They saw the red flags and had the confidence to walk away. When you've dealt with enough women, you learn to stop being the cornball that blames the man and you start looking at the problems their characteristics present.

No, he's right. Me and my man 20 yrs in and the sex is STILL outstanding. We were both each other's type* and didn't get flabby n sick. Having that strong base of attraction has helped us avoid a lot of bs over the years. Otherwise it's a huge chink in the relationships armor and you end up letting all kinda ppl in.

*Of course, there were other considerations and requirements as well.

Nah, he isn't right.

Would you say that you're more or less attracted to your partner than when you first met him. Whether you're attracted to someone, how much you're attracted to them, is not static. It is therefore wrong to say base the success on the initial response.

 

[Inspect Her Deck]

Do you buy a home on impulse?

What kind of foolishness are you talking my bredda? There are some decisions we make on impulse e.g. what sandwich to buy at the deli and there are some decisions require careful consideration.

Marriage is one of those decisions that should be determined by more than your initial reaction. Moreover attraction is actually something that can develop over time. We are not bound by our initial impression and, for some, attraction is more than what they see in a first meeting.

You're missing the nuance. The impulse decision means you're opening the door to entertain a relationship with a person. You're not gonna spend a considerable amount of your time getting to know every single person you meet. To narrow that pool down to a manageable level, you need to make that impulse decision from the perspective of physical attraction. Once that bar is cleared, then you entertain and evaluate the other aspects that person brings to the table.

I wasn't referring to marriage specifically either. I agree with you that attraction develops over time but the baseline level of attraction has to stem from physical appreciation first. Romance is inherently physical. If you don't feel that raw desire from the get-go, it's gonna be difficult to develop that without some substantial changes on the other person's behalf. It's an uphill battle.

 

[Umoja]

You're missing the nuance. The impulse decision means you're opening the door to entertain a relationship with a person. You're not gonna spend a considerable amount of your time getting to know every single person you meet. To narrow that pool down to a manageable level, you need to make that impulse decision from the perspective of physical attraction. Once that bar is cleared, then you entertain and evaluate the other aspects that person brings to the table.

Nah, I am not missing nuance.

You're trying to cling on to a lost point. You're not going to spend a considerable amount of time getting to know everyone single person you meet but, for one reason or another, you get to know some of them.

How you think is how people get jammed up. Approaching situation without the consideration that attraction can develop.

 

[Max.]

Be "For a start he was a lot shorter than my height preferences on the apps and pretty much bald " brehs

 

[Max.]

The other day when he was brushing his teeth I found myself zoning in on this big hairy raised mole on his shoulder. I thought ‘am I really going to spend the rest of my life with that mole?’


Lmao

 

[RadaMillz]

dude should just ghost her right before the wedding, seems like she loves men that treats her like sh!t.

 

[Max.]

Kamala winning got her reevaluating life huh

 

[☃ ೋ]

12 pages though? I’ve said in many other threads about these kind of situations—that there are many women who will overlook attraction and sex for a man who is good on paper because she is desperate for marriage and kids. And then a few years into the marriage after the baby comes it becomes a dead bedroom, she cheats or she divorces.

I wish people would stop telling women that looks and sex don’t matter as long as he’s xyz. It does matter to women just as much as it does to men and it’s a disservice to men and women when people pretend that it doesn’t.

She forced herself to like him because they got along, she knew he liked her, and she knew she could get a commitment out of him. There was probably no real chemistry. And unfortunately sexual chemistry can’t be taught or forced. Communication won’t fix this issue. She’s not attracted, and he isn’t that good in bed compared to who she’s been with. It just is what it is.

She’s full of shyt for saying it’s too late to call off the wedding. It’s not. She’s just afraid to be back in the market again. I have a friend who ended an engagement and a relationship because she said her man couldn’t fukk. I have a friend who dumped a guy she was seeing a few weeks ago because she said in addition to him being inconsistent, his sex wasn’t good and it just wasn’t worth it. Some women don’t care about sex like that so they can make do with mediocre sex lives. Others can’t. For me it’s a deal breaker. If it’s not good I don’t want it. If he doesn’t want to do it as much as I do, then I don’t want it. Sexual compatibility matters.

I feel bad for him though. He doesn’t even know.

Whats your friends definition of good sex? Cumming too quick, not staying hard, size aint their fit? 'cause two of those things can be rectified by a simple prescription if that was the only problem with their relationship. Im just curious.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Whats your friends definition of good sex? Cumming too quick, not staying hard, size aint their fit? 'cause two of those things can be rectified by a simple prescription if that was the only problem with their relationship. Im just curious.

I didn’t ask her for details because it kind of felt like TMI. But considering how young they are, needing prescription medication is a red flag. This breh was in his twenties...