I had an affair in 2015. My wife called my side chick this morning.

[NoMoreWhiteWoman2020]

Yes my parents did divorce.

So this explains why you are projecting your daddy issues onto me in this thread

It's ok sis. Hope you can overcome the deficiency of projecting your own shyt onto others, shyt ain't healthy. Until then, take care. No need for a response, we've heard all that your broken record spins.

 

[Giselle]

So this explains why you are projecting your daddy issues onto me in this thread

It's ok sis. Hope you can overcome the deficiency of projecting your own shyt onto others, shyt ain't healthy. Until then, take care. No need for a response, we've heard all that your broken record spins.

I am not projecting, it's called empathy.

I don't have daddy issues. I didn't like him until after my parents got divorced though. I live with him now and he pays for everything. If I had serious issues with him, then I wouldn't be living with him.
The seperation was the best thing that happened for all of us.

& this is coming from the children's point of view. Some of the most useful advice in this thread from someone with experience and you're in here whining over it like an immatur little bytch.

It's ok though "sis", you'll realize it eventually. It'll probably be too late though. Then you'll wish you would've listened.

 

[Crayola Coyote]

Talk all that "respect black women" shyt then proceed to disrespect the fukk out of your WIFE brehs.

And how you gonna have all those women running in and out your house with your DAUGHTER there (hope she was young so she doesn't grow up remembering that shyt)?

Even having a chick shack up in the same house?

And then have been some "black feminist" tip on here the whole time trying to lecture nikkas when this is how you move?
You can't respect black women, you can't even respect yourself as a man, a husband or a father.

nikkas like you the reason they on the shyt they on.

Player be played, the Jig is Up!

 

[shonuff]

Yes they are both untrustworthy and disgusting. & cheating wasn't their only issue. Idk about jfk b/c I've never researched him, but mlk had power/popularity issues. He wanted to be the "big man on campus" and have all of the other guy's girls. This was said in his doc by one of his longtime friends. There was clearly something wrong with him.

Just bc a person has a good public persona doesn't mean that they are a good person.

Wait MLK isn't a good person????

Are you kidding????

And how you don't know anything about JFK is stunning on its face alone

T he point I was making is just because a guy fukks someone outside of his marriage doesn't mean that all around he is a terrible person or that he's done something unredeemable that can't be understood ...or accepted

Men have been fukking mad chicks outside of their marriages because -. Men like to fukk different women - James Brown Stevie Wonder Jesse Jackson - hell the list is fukking LONG ...

The problem is you are like someone telling you Santa isn't real or the Easter Bunny is fake -

You want to believe a lot of shyt about relationships and how marriages work and function that's COMPLETELY made up

How you think men aught to be or behave is a fantasy - the reality of marriage is WAY way different

 

[Giselle]

Wait MLK isn't a good person????

Are you kidding????

And how you don't know anything about JFK is stunning on its face alone

T he point I was making is just because a guy fukks someone outside of his marriage doesn't mean that all around he is a terrible person or that he's done something unredeemable that can't be understood ...or accepted

No he is not imo.

I'm serious.

I didn't say that I don't know anything about jfk, I said I don't know anything about his personal life bc I've never researched him.

Cheating can't and shouldn't be understood or accepted. That is what is wrong with you people. Especially you males. You want women to "understand" and accept your cheating , but you wouldn't do the same if they cheated. Cheating is wrong and it shows a lot about a person's true self, not the person they pretend to be in public.

 

[shonuff]

No he is not imo.

I'm serious.

I didn't say that I don't know anything about jfk, I said I don't know anything about his personal life bc I've never researched him.

Cheating can't and shouldn't be understood or accepted. That is what is wrong with you people. Especially you males. You want women to "understand" and accept your cheating , but you wouldn't do the same if they cheated. Cheating is wrong and it shows a lot about a person's true self, not the person they pretend to be in public.

well it can be you just have a narrow minded view of what things are

again - maybe its your american roots or whatever - you get out in the world you see a few things - your whole perspective changes and you realize what a shrilll judgemental bytch you come off as

im not saying how dude conducts him self is wise he fukked his shyt up - but his past actions doesnt make him a bad person - to fukk someone who isnt his wife and be down on him about it - thats some shyt that will get you laughed at for being stupid in damn near 4/5ths of this planet

again - you confuse what you THINK you know about relationships with a fantasy - the reality is that some men fukk other chicks and they keep their marriages and their wives are down with it - hell Will and Jada been ducking other people for what over 20 years - still commited to each other- their faggity spacey hippy son and daughter not withstanding

and people always pretend to be somethingn they arent - thats some fantasy shyt too - people lie keep secrets and have another side to themselves that they keep from others - everyone has secrets - thats human nature

 

[karim]

well it can be you just have a narrow minded view of what things are

again - maybe its your american roots or whatever - you get out in the world you see a few things - your whole perspective changes and you realize what a shrilll judgemental bytch you come off as

im not saying how dude conducts him self is wise he fukked his shyt up - but his past actions doesnt make him a bad person - to fukk someone who isnt his wife and be down on him about it - thats some shyt that will get you laughed at for being stupid in damn near 4/5ths of this planet

again - you confuse what you THINK you know about relationships with a fantasy - the reality is that some men fukk other chicks and they keep their marriages and their wives are down with it - hell Will and Jada been ducking other people for what over 20 years - still commited to each other- their faggity spacey hippy son and daughter not withstanding

and people always pretend to be somethingn they arent - thats some fantasy shyt too - people lie keep secrets and have another side to themselves that they keep from others - everyone has secrets - thats human nature

stop it. cheating shows that you are an illoyal, self-centered human being with a lack of morals, values and empathy, period. If I know you're cheating on your wife or your girlfriend I don't trust you, because if you are capable of hurting and betraying somebody you love in such a fashion, why would you be loyal to me. And no, Will and Jada are not an example in this situation, because they are supposed to have an open relationship. And while that is not something I would do, it's completely different, because in that scenario, both partners agree that it is ok for both of them to fukk other people. They are not sneeking around behind each others backs. And even in such a case I think it's egoistic if you have kids and life that kind of lifestyle in front of them, because it will fukk with their heads and cause some kind of damage as far as future relationships go.

 

[TheDarkskinnedDrake]

Eh damn chick decided to DM my wife and send screenshots of before I even met my wife and now my wife has taken the kid and left but atleast she left me the dog I feel your pain breh

 

[Draje]

Wait MLK isn't a good person????

Are you kidding????

And how you don't know anything about JFK is stunning on its face alone

T he point I was making is just because a guy fukks someone outside of his marriage doesn't mean that all around he is a terrible person or that he's done something unredeemable that can't be understood ...or accepted

Men have been fukking mad chicks outside of their marriages because -. Men like to fukk different women - James Brown Stevie Wonder Jesse Jackson - hell the list is fukking LONG ...

The problem is you are like someone telling you Santa isn't real or the Easter Bunny is fake -

You want to believe a lot of shyt about relationships and how marriages work and function that's COMPLETELY made up

How you think men aught to be or behave is a fantasy - the reality of marriage is WAY way different

Do you feel the same way about cheating women? Can a women who likes different dikks when she's married still be a good woman?

 

[Kamikaze Revy]

Your wife catches you cheating, she leaves, and leaves the daughter behind? Something is missing here.

 

[shonuff]

stop it. cheating shows that you are an illoyal, self-centered human being with a lack of morals, values and empathy, period. If I know you're cheating on your wife or your girlfriend I don't trust you, because if you are capable of hurting and betraying somebody you love in such a fashion, why would you be loyal to me. And no, Will and Jada are not an example in this situation, because they are supposed to have an open relationship. And while that is not something I would do, it's completely different, because in that scenario, both partners agree that it is ok for both of them to fukk other people. They are not sneeking around behind each others backs. And even in such a case I think it's egoistic if you have kids and life that kind of lifestyle in front of them, because it will fukk with their heads and cause some kind of damage as far as future relationships go.

the word is "disloyal" not illoyal - and no cheating doesnt show you have no loyalty - it selfish and yeh its arrogant - but all the rest of that shyt about a lack of morals or values or even empathy - thats you being a sensitive bytch - and hyperbolic

there are plenty PLENTY of people who a damn near the paragons of values morality or loyalty and have empathy and they fukk someone outside of their marriage

thats fact - thats not some shyt thats all pie in the sky like you typed-

again the IDEA that fukking someone else somehow makes you a terrible person - not true

the IDEA that fukking someone else means you shouldnt be married or that it automatically means a divorce - also not true - that shyt is backed by centuries of history - plenty of couples have "cheating" spouses - either you work the shyt out - or you dont

lastly the IDEA of what and how you think relationships AUGHT to work let alone how or what "marraige" is - its based on a FANTASY -
its no more real than the idea that a woman should just be a housewife or that after a kid a woman should still look the same as she did before you fukked her or that you can "have it all" - its a lie - its an idealized version of what goes on in the real world - its a lie - like saying you should marry for love - you marry NOW maybe for love - but love fades - and thats why people are getting divorced so much now because thats not what marriage has EVER been -

to the ladies : men want to fukk other women - its going to happen -

to the men : women are gonna fukk other men - before you even realize that it COULD happen it already has happened

the sooner you realize and accept the fact that fukking has nothing to do with "love" or "commitment" the sooner you stop thinking that whats between your legs is the measure of you - the more adult you will behave

 

[shonuff]

Do you feel the same way about cheating women? Can a women who likes different dikks when she's married still be a good woman?

yes

 

[karim]

the word is "disloyal" not illoyal - and no cheating doesnt show you have no loyalty - it selfish and yeh its arrogant - but all the rest of that shyt about a lack of morals or values or even empathy - thats you being a sensitive bytch - and hyperbolic

there are plenty PLENTY of people who a damn near the paragons of values morality or loyalty and have empathy and they fukk someone outside of their marriage

thats fact - thats not some shyt thats all pie in the sky like you typed-

again the IDEA that fukking someone else somehow makes you a terrible person - not true

the IDEA that fukking someone else means you shouldnt be married or that it automatically means a divorce - also not true - that shyt is backed by centuries of history - plenty of couples have "cheating" spouses - either you work the shyt out - or you dont

lastly the IDEA of what and how you think relationships AUGHT to work let alone how or what "marraige" is - its based on a FANTASY -
its no more real than the idea that a woman should just be a housewife or that after a kid a woman should still look the same as she did before you fukked her or that you can "have it all" - its a lie - its an idealized version of what goes on in the real world - its a lie - like saying you should marry for love - you marry NOW maybe for love - but love fades - and thats why people are getting divorced so much now because thats not what marriage has EVER been -

to the ladies : men want to fukk other women - its going to happen -

to the men : women are gonna fukk other men - before you even realize that it COULD happen it already has happened

the sooner you realize and accept the fact that fukking has nothing to do with "love" or "commitment" the sooner you stop thinking that whats between your legs is the measure of you - the more adult you will behave

and don't call me a bytch just because you can't handle the fact that your cheating makes you a bad person that can't be trusted

 

[shonuff]

and don't call me a bytch just because you can't handle the fact that your cheating makes you a bad person that can't be trusted

i think you have it twisted

your judgement about bad or trust is belied the the fact there there are people that YOU trust and admire that have fukked or are now currently fukking someone "who they arent supposed to fukk"

and in some instances they have a full blown relationship other than the one you already know about

YOU want it to be one way - but it aint that way - and what you think you know - you dont really know

if what you said was the truth of things people wouldnt be fukking and having side pieces in the record numbers they are now

the number is rising - not falling

and men having more than one woman or a wife and a woman - that shyt runs from east to west - north to south ....across every culture every class and every religion - african asian russian indian - the reality is the one i just woke you up to - you just insist on sleeping and having your cinderella fantasy dream about how someonne is gonna be so in love with you they aint gonna fukk someone else

the truth is - they already have

 

[NoMoreWhiteWoman2020]

Update- a lot of shyt has transpired since I last shared. I'll try to start from the top.

I took the advice of a lot of folks from this thread, and went and got some therapy. It has helped. I started it back in October when another side chick filed a lawsuit against me for 1500 dollars. Petty ass shyt. I beat the case, but it hit me hard, because it was a public thing, and we work in the same circles, so people were able to know about it.

I resolve all that, and op top of it handle all the academic shyt, family and personal life. Me and my estranged wife are living together, but there is a physical and emotional distance during the pregnancy. I can't speak for her, but I never wanted to have sex, because I did not want to have sex with her while she carried another mans baby. Maybe I could cross that line down the road after the pregnancy, but I couldn't at that moment.

The baby is born, healthy and beautiful! I determined in my mind that I would never let her think that she was less to me. I was going to love her as my daughter, but I thought it should be an unspoken rule that you don't go back to your baby daddy. I was wrong.

As soon as this muhfukka had the baby, she starts tripping out again, acting irrational and abusive, and this culminates with her telling me that she has had contact with the baby father, showed him pics, and actually talked about money with him.
This crossed the line, because I was putting 2 n 2 together for a while.
1. Now on my bday, she gave me a 100 dollars even though she doesn't have any form of income beside me. If I haven't given you that, where did you get it?
2. When she told me that she talked back to him, it made me question her whole abuse story that she gave initially. This muhfukka really set me up like Denzel off of Training Day
3. She felt confident enough to say it to my face. That lets me know they been concocting this for a while. But I could be mistaken.

shyt has been rough, because throughout all the bs, I love the baby. She didn't get a choice in none of this, and I named her Angela after Angela Yvonne Davis. I built up a serious bond with her, and when she told me about the bd, I had a small breakdown because I don't take death very good and it felt like I had just lost a child because I knew that I would never have that true father role in her life. That sent me into therapy again. So now I'm faced with a divorce for the second time in two years, raising my daughter by myself again, and mitigating the damage.

I can't wait till this situation is resolved for good.

So, yeah.
That leaves me here today, still blessed and following my dreams, but telling y'all my story so that you may be more wiser than me when you pick out your spouses.