I don't necessarily promote #GMB, but this pictogram story should be required viewing for those contemplating matrimony.

[Professor Emeritus]

I hear what you're saying, but someone can tell you I love you a hundred times. And then suddenly they don't.

You will never fully know someone you marry even after 30yrs, and you know them even LESS BEFORE you marry them. There's a reason ppl can date for 8 yrs, get married and then divorced by year 9.

Also, you can be blindsided by a divorce. As a man, yeah there may be warning signs, but if you're not mistreating someone or behaving differently, and their feelings just change, as women can be prone to doing, then ur screwed.

You might be an edgy/bad boy bc you're single and don't think anyone loves you. Then You meet a chick who cares and now you become softer, less dangerous, but she got with you bc you were edgy, the bad boy. Now she's "bored" bc you calmed down and not the person she met.

I'm not anti-marriage, I'm just skeptical of what it has become in culture. Like, okay let's get "married" and commit to each other be faithful ....but why cant we do it off-paper? Why can you say you're not in love anymore, and now i gotta pay you? Now I gotta give half my check to you off the top for spousal and child support?

Why does it have to be that crucial even if I never did anything wrong to you?

Yes, any of that stuff "can" happen, but the chances of it happening are remarkably low compared to the fake stats being thrown around in here..

Like I pointed out, the overall divorce rate is currently around 35% and dropping. You're even less likely to get divorced if you avoid marrying too young, have known each other reasonably long prior to marriage, and are financially stable when you get married. If those things are true AND you commit to not instigating the end of the relationship yourself (commit to not cheating and not asking for a divorce), your divorce rate likely falls closer to 10-15% at most.

Can you do everything right and still end up divorced? It's possible. Just like it's possible to have shytty stuff going on in a non-married relationship. Cheating, issues with joint custody of kids, child support, all that shyt happens to non-married folk too. But when you get married, if you are reasonable and careful about it then the chances are much lower.

 

[Professor Emeritus]

Marriage rate is still slowing so it will eventually become outdated.


GMB wins eventually.

The majority of the drop is occurring among the poor and working class. Marriage rate among wealthy and middle-class families remain far above that of poor families. And the outcomes for kids of non-married couples are much, much worse than for married couples.


I struggle to see what anyone's hope is for a non-marriage society unless you just want some ugly dystopian future.

 

[DaddyFresh]

Yet on virtually every single indicator the married are far better off than the non-married and children from married parents are far better off than children from non-married parents.

That's only because the only option is married or non married and society looks down on the non married. In the future there will be many other alternatives and marriage wont be looked at as this prestige accomplishment

 

[UpAndComing]

You keep beating this "all that matters is %" bullshyt without even being able to use the right percentages. As I already pointed out, it's 35-40% and dropping, not 50%. Your entire percentage is a fukking myth.

Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think (Published 2005)

How many American marriages end in divorce? One in two, if you believe the statistic endlessly repeated in news media reports, academic papers and campaign speeches. The figure is based on a simple -- and flawed -- calculation: the annual marriage rate per 1,000 people compared with the...

www.nytimes.com

The Divorce Surge Is Over, but the Myth Lives On (Published 2014)

The high divorce rate of the late 1970s and early 1980s is starting to look like a historical anomaly, not a trend.

www.nytimes.com

You started off with a false statistic that doesn't accurately reflect the # of marriages that end in divorce. Then you proceed to a hypothetical scenario that only affects a portion of those divorces.

There are two potential people who can cause a divorce. If YOU don't want to get divorced, you immediately lower the chances of a divorce happening. And if you avoid the sort of partners who are likely to divorce, you lower the chances even more. It's the same way that safe drivers have far lower likelihoods of getting into a car accident than reckless drivers. You can't control everything but you have a substantial greater degree of control than this random chance victimhood narrative that is constantly played here.



I mean think about it. EVERY time that marriage is talked about in TLR, men portray themselves as helpless victims who are automatically subject to a made-up exaggerated divorce rate as if they had zero control over outcomes. It's embarrassing and counterproductive.

Stop quoting me fakkit

 

[JT-Money]

The majority of the drop is occurring among the poor and working class. Marriage rate among wealthy and middle-class families remain far above that of poor families. And the outcomes for kids of non-married couples are much, much worse than for married couples.


I struggle to see what anyone's hope is for a non-marriage society unless you just want some ugly dystopian future.

The upcoming global Recession will probably cause Divorce rates to spike also. Without some kind of government intervention I don't see the trend reversing anytime soon.

 

[VertigoKnight]

Looking back at the time before you got married, were there signs that you ignored which in hindsight you can see did not bode well for your marriage? How deeply did you analyze the person you ended up marrying?

Hmm not really. I think what happens to most people is you meet someone, fall in love, then we do what's expected of us. Which is get engaged, get a house together, get married and have kids.

I will say my marriage was mostly good. But familiarity and getting too comfortable usually slowly erodes things. I also feel me and her grew apart in what we wanted in life. And that happens a lot as well. I'm sure most of us think back to things we used to be into that no longer excite us. It can be that way with relationships.

If I had to do it again. One thing I would do is actually discuss how I was feeling with her. A lot of times I would bite my tongue to keep the peace. A hell of a lot of resentment can build up from that.

Thinking on it more. Me and her discussed things a little after we separated. We were both people scared of the world who found one another. So in terms of attachment styles I would have been avoidant-insecure.

People, who because of usually childhood trauma feel they don't deserve love. It's only in the aftermath that I've worked on those issues. Same as her.

This is why I would say, especially to the brehs, go to therapy. Helped me deal with a lot of issues I had kept inside since childhood that bleed into your romantic relationships

 

[Bubba T]

Marriage rate is still slowing so it will eventually become outdated.


GMB wins eventually.

Marriage isn't outdated. Western society is bred on selfish thinking.

 

[CopiousX]

What about having a girlfriend and not getting married?

edit: also if I get in the air force I shouldn't get married right and/or if I get into politics?

The return on investment is higher for you as an officer or politician to be married than it is for the rest of us. Even if it's just a marriage of convenience. If your marriage gets you to senator or master sergeant level, then the divorce is worth it. These are industries which kinda require you to be married for admission. But I think the lower officer ranks don't mind but once you get e6 enlisted or O3 commissioned; you need a wife to get higher up. It's office politics.



As for having a girlfriend, that's fine if you are in any other industry (except religion). Remember that being GMB does not mean being an incel.


However, keep in mind you may end up in the same predicament as a married person if you live long-term with her and have a kid. Child support is never cool. Common law is not cool either. My fix is surrogacy, but I'd never impose that on somebody else cause most people don't have the immediate 70k to complete the process domestically. But I do hear you can get it done abroad for 35k if you are frugal.

 

[UpAndComing]

You're still not factoring in all the things that I've mentioned though. You can't calculate your own personal odds without taking into account all of the circumstances that I mentioned. Your odds could be far greater than 50% or even below 50%.

Marriage is not a unique situation for you and me, therefore the group percentage does factor in... You can't make personal factors take precedence on a universal system. If there were statistics on how people are in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, then yes you can use those personal situations because there are way less governing bodies that can control your relationship. Legal Marriage is different

Everyone who is legally married has to
- Get married with the State
- Claim taxes the same way
- Have similar marital benefits when it comes to taxes
- Have similar marital benefits when it comes to mortgage loans
- Has an effect on real estate ownership
- Has an effect on their credit score
- Has to deal with the possibility of alimony
- Has an effect on their Life Insurance
- Has an effect on their Estate

Therefore you have to take Marriage as a system into an account and see how people experience this certain system whether they stay in marriage or get a divorce

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Nothing wrong with marriage As long as you continue to live as if you’re single (minus the cheating). ALWAYS keep your options open.

What do you mean continue to live as if you're single?

 

[LadyJ2]

What do you mean continue to live as if you're single?

Put your goals and purpose first as a man, always.

That is what attracted her in the first place.

She was not attracted to someone whose world revolves around her. Those guys were friend zoned.

 

[jadillac]

@VertigoKnight thanks for sharing the real, breh.

Would you /are you planning to get married again?

 

[315]

 

[jadillac]

What do you mean continue to live as if you're single?

I understood what he was saying up til the "always keep your options open" part.

But to me, "live single" just means don't give up the things, hobbies and interests that make you happy. If that's going to strip clubs okay, give that up. But like, if you like to paint or write, keep doing that. Don't give up the things you love for....love.

Some ppl give up their interests/passions for another person and then they ultimately become lost and unhappy people.

 

[Raphaello]

What do you mean continue to live as if you're single?

Keep yourself attractive to the opposite sex. Keep in shape, attire, hair, conversational skills, etc. You got to feel confident that you'd be able to still pull women if the marriage broke down.