Help!!
- Thread starter Princess Coco
- Start date
I want to leave the low self-esteem and insecurity in my teens. When I turn 20 I want to be a different person mentally...if that makes sense
Taadow
The StarchBishop™️
Why, do you get a special bonus if you get all your problems worked out by 20?
You're just putting unnecessary pressure on yourself by giving yourself a timeline.
Look - the only way to fight low self-esteem is to get self-esteem. lol
Isn't there anything you like about yourself?
I can't catch a breakI'm gonna take all your advice, and start my self love journey. Thanks everyone!!
The moment I read this I put my phone down and went to the back to grab my laptop so that I can type this up as effectively and efficiently as possible.
As spotlessmind mentioned, beauty is subjective and there is a false agenda being pushed out by the media, trying to tell you what beauty is.
First and foremost being healthy is key. Making sure that your body is energetic and active goes a long way. I hate exercising but I feel great after I've exercised. A lot of people don't know this but healthy living is a lifestyle you have to adapt and be consistent with. I'm not that consistent with it but I care about my health and how I prefer my body shape to be. There are a lot of times when a man or a woman will try to dictate your weight or shape. As long as you are comfortable with it, can manage it and lead a healthy lifestyle with it then do you. There isn't a need to join a gym or run a billion miles a week. Walking around your neighborhood or up and down a street can be both positively active and therapeutic.
Stop comparing yourself to IG models. Most of them look the same and they wear pounds and pounds of make up to get that way. They also have a good lighting crew + photoshop miracle worker. Just google before and after IG girls with make up and what you'll see will make you go
If you constantly compare yourself to other people you are never going to be satisfied. I know there will ALWAYS be another girl prettier than me but the key is to embrace that and maybe even adapt styles and beauty tips from others.
Above all else, the way you carry yourself is going to trump over it all. You're not going to gain confidence overnight, but you have to work at it. You have to be proud in your looks because if you cannot love your features then how are you going to accept someone who does?
The great thing about Earth is that there's 7 billion people living on it, and not every one of them has the same taste.
Some people, such as myself, do not flee to people based on their looks. In most cases they have to share the same hobbies as me.
For me, that's anime, kpop and writing. If I can find someone just as weird as me, and can embrace me for my weirdness and vice versa, then I'll be lucky to have broken my 24 year dry spell.
That is all.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Play up the things you love about your self.
Positive Affirmations: Say some of these in the mirror (especially yellow) https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/9f/a1/32/9fa132cbc750e3579c631b2062af95f2.jpg
Get out of your comfort zone. Try new things. Get to know yourself. What you like and don't like. What makes your happy.
Get a jar or bottle and fill them with written notes of positive things that happened to you, compliments you've recieved, things you are thankful for.
Meditate.
Get some sunlight. Go out in nature. Take a walk.
Listen to uplifting music. Dance. Sing. Exercise.
Treat yourself good from outside in. Feed yourself healthy meals, take a nice bubble bath. Do your hair and nails. Play with makeup. Nice drink of tea or hot coco.
Positive Affirmations: Say some of these in the mirror (especially yellow) https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/9f/a1/32/9fa132cbc750e3579c631b2062af95f2.jpg
Get a jar or bottle and fill them with written notes of positive things that happened to you, compliments you've recieved, things you are thankful for.
Meditate.
Get some sunlight. Go out in nature. Take a walk.
Listen to uplifting music. Dance. Sing. Exercise.
Treat yourself good from outside in. Feed yourself healthy meals, take a nice bubble bath. Do your hair and nails. Play with makeup. Nice drink of tea or hot coco.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Break the cycle and get out of your comfort zone. If you do not like where you are at and where you are going, change direction. If you keep traveling and you are still unhappy, the only constant factor is yourself. So focus on the positives, accept the negatives. Flip it, what is positive about the negative? Example, your black features tell you about your heritage, your African roots, the cradle of mankind. You are an original. You have strong roots and strong genes.
What people think about you is their business. Mind yours. What you think about yourself is always most important. If you are a positive person you will attract positive people. If you are an insecure person, you will attract insecure people. Shift your focus. I can not stress this enough. What you focus on, grows. So get rid of distractions and things that do not serve you.
Two questions to constantly ask yourself:
How does this serve me? ( How does looking at instagram "models" serve you? Is it helping or hurting?) Get rid of distractions, dead weight and time wasters.
What would someone who loves themselves do? Most people do not see themselves clearly, only through the reflections of other people aka other's opinions, so fake it til you make it. You have gotten yourself into this mindset, so break those habits by doing the things someone who loves themselves does. Eventually, it will become second nature.
Look up your birth chart and take the MBTI test at 16personalities.com to learn more about yourself. If you need help, pm me.
@CinnaSlim It's crazy how accurate the birth chart was and personality test were!
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
That's why I love it! It helped me a lot to understand myself and why my mother and I always clash. Also helps you see that you are not crazy and gives you better understanding on why you act the way you do. Now that you have the knowledge you can find more personalized advice and help. It breaks everything down. Glad you like it.
What was your personality? I'm an INFJ so I'm a natural counselor/advocate. Im always offering help and advice.
I'm an INFP. I'm calm,shy, and reserved. I always try to see the good in people.
LimitedEdition
Misanthropy Personified
I was saddedned reading your posts. I do hope you find some self esteem and confidence. As someone else stated, your 20th birthday isnt a magical day that you should have all your insecurities worked out. I dont think life works like that. If it does that would be great but dont be so hard on yourself if that day comes and youre still not feeling like Queen of hte world.
Good luck!
Good luck!
BruhManFromTheFifthFlo
Veteran
Hate to suggest this but since you seem deep in self hate, maybe.....maybe.....
Try tumblr
It's lots of blogs on there that celebrate black women. There should be lots of stuff on there to boost ya self up
One blog called blackgirlsrpretty2 they post lots of bad black thottie hotties
once you follow them it should lead you to lots of other blogs celebrating black women 
Whatever you do, don't turn
for their validation like a lot of them on there do
Try tumblr
It's lots of blogs on there that celebrate black women. There should be lots of stuff on there to boost ya self up
One blog called blackgirlsrpretty2 they post lots of bad black thottie hotties
once you follow them it should lead you to lots of other blogs celebrating black women Whatever you do, don't turn
for their validation like a lot of them on there doI don't know how to use tumblr, but I followed some positive Instagram pages that celebrate and uplift black women. I'm not into white men, their opinions don't matter to me.Hate to suggest this but since you seem deep in self hate, maybe.....maybe.....
Try tumblr
It's lots of blogs on there that celebrate black women. There should be lots of stuff on there to boost ya self up
One blog called blackgirlsrpretty2 they post lots of bad black thottie hotties
Whatever you do, don't turn