Getting a Divorce Brehs...

[Max.]

Can u at least post her nudes?

 

[Soundbwoy]

And as an adult who has committed to a MARRIAGE, when you feel disrespected you communicate. You express your feelings in a mature manner and allow your spouse time to digest.

When you do that, you may find that your spouse had no intentions on disrespecting you and that they are sorry for their actions. Or you may find that they really don't care about your feelings, which indicates that the issue wasn't this perceived disrespect in the first place. Either way, the solution is communication, not holding in feelings for months so you can surprise your life partner with a "gotcha".

As someone who just celebrated 9 years of marriage, I stand by my previous comments. Anyone who handles marriage in such a careless and emotionally immature manner is not marriage material.

Last week looked my wife in the eye and told her I was done. I wasn't in love with her anymore and to keep forcing a marriage that I no longer wanted to be in would be doing nothing but further poisoning an already damaged union. No more counseling, no more endless talks about why I won't forgive her for not supporting me at the most crucial of crossroads, no more bullshyt.

First steps towards freedom brehs


#TPC

Yall keep missing the point that they did talk about it go to counselling but it didnt work like I said to the other brehette yall need to detach yourself from the story to better analyse it

 

[Max.]

I was coming out of the Army, deciding what I wanted to do. Decided I wanted to go back to work for Best Buy. She looked me right in my face and said "So your going to be 35 years old making $12.50".

That was literally the moment where I completely and utterly fell out of love with her. NO woman in the history of my existence has ever been allowed to disrespect me, my work ethic, nor my decision making to such a disgusting level. Especially a woman whose hand I took in marriage...

So I did exactly what I had to do. Started back at the bottom part time and worked myself back to Manager in 5 months. Three promotions, three pay raises (plus bonuses). And after that time period I didn't feel as if she deserved to be a part of my success as she wasn't supportive during my hustle and struggle. Once I made manager she wanted to talk about how proud of me she was and all that shyt but I told her straight up I didn't make it because of her. I made it DESPITE of her and I didn't want her nor the marriage any longer. I actually told her all of this two months ago but she begged and pleaded for another chance talking about how sorry she was and she always believed in me and she was just frustrated during that time period. She wanted to go to counseling and I tried it but nah....the damage had been done. Once you disrespect a man.... TRULY disrespect him, he will never forgive you

I'm crying breh

 

[Colicat]

Old bitter black women brigade , barren fingers, cobweb wombs

Edit: I told myself I wasn't going to do that anymore... Have a pleasant evening

 

[Lavish]

Every so often I go to best buy and remember this thread



This dude really divorced his wife over a legitimate question about his dream of working in retail

 

[Queen]

Yall keep missing the point that they did talk about it go to counselling but it didnt work like I said to the other brehette yall need to detach yourself from the story to better analyse it

That doesn't negate the fact that the response was careless and emotionally immature. In fact, it proves even more that a person of that mindset is not marriage material. When it comes down to it, if a man's ego is more important than maintaining the commitment he made to build a life together than that fits everything that I have stated.

In the grand scheme of life, making a careless comment based on legit fears is not that big of a deal. Life throws much bigger issues as time goes on.

He just wasn't that into her. And that's why women it's important to find a man who loves you a bit more than you love him. (Please spare me the "I am not settling for someone I don't like" mumbo jumbo as that is not what that comment means)

Finally, I am actually not attached to the story. I am disgusted that people are applauding this reckless disregard for the sanctity of marriage.

 

[havoc]

Every so often I go to best buy and remember this thread



This dude really divorced his wife over a legitimate question about his dream of working in retail

 

[klutch2381]

@Ziggiy

You really should tell your ex-wife the truth: you didn't want to be married anymore. She's going to go through life thinking she's irredeemable and compromised in some fundamental way, and the reality is you just wanted a way out. I don't think that's fair to her. The opportunity eventually manifested and you took it. I just hope you haven't deluded yourself into thinking your reasoning is more than that. You seem like a cool dude from everything I know of your e-persona; but a man who leaves his wife over her asking him some "female shyt" is simply a man that no longer desired to be married. My own mother has said shyt 10x more potent than that, and while I'm not one that strictly adheres to gender roles -- it is something they're apt to do.

Regardless, I wish you well in your journey.

 

[Jay Kast]

That doesn't negate the fact that the response was careless and emotionally immature. In fact, it proves even more that a person of that mindset is not marriage material. When it comes down to it, if a man's ego is more important than maintaining the commitment he made to build a life together than that fits everything that I have stated.

In the grand scheme of life, making a careless comment based on legit fears is not that big of a deal. Life throws much bigger issues as time goes on.

He just wasn't that into her. And that's why women it's important to find a man who loves you a bit more than you love him. (Please spare me the "I am not settling for someone I don't like" mumbo jumbo as that is not what that comment means)

Finally, I am actually not attached to the story. I am disgusted that people are applauding this reckless disregard for the sanctity of marriage.

....Can you expand on this please?

I dont want to jump the gun...

 

[Elle Driver]

I have stated althroughout the thread that I tried talking to her and reasoning with she about her attitude. More than once and yes, we did go to counseling. She would NOT change her attitude and for me what added insult to injury was that she never apologized or showed any remorse about what she said until AFTER I'd gotten my second promotion. Like I said she saw me get up every day at 4am to make that first Marta bus and take the two hour bus/train ride to work Becuase I let her have the car. She saw me working 50-60 hours a week, sometimes I wouldn't get home until 11pm-12am and she'd already eaten and gone to bed.

Then AFTER I left her she wanted to beg and plead. It doesn't work that way, if I can support you and never complain during a time period in your life when you couldn't quite figure out what you wanted to do then you can certainly support me during a time period in my life when I KNOW what I want to do, and am willing to put in the work required to make it happen.

I don't think she was ready for that sacrifice, because it is a sacrifice. The fact that you were deployed didn't show that she wasn't going to sacrifice for you as much as you did her because you were gone, she didn't see you often, etc. A lot of people don't understand or know what it means to sacrifice and that is a major tenant, pillar, COMPONENT, of marriage. Without it, it'll fail.

I'm sorry this happened to you but take it as a lesson learned. You seem to be doing better, so perhaps God put you through this hardship to give you something better at the end.

 

[Queen]

....Can you expand on this please?

I dont want to jump the gun...

Here is a man who explains it quite well. In fact, he wrote two different posts about it. I know nothing about his other views.

Why It’s True That Men Need To Love “Harder” Than Women | VSB

Because of certain sociological and biological factors largely out of our control, women aren’t really able to grow on men the same way we can grow on them, making it paramount that we (men) are the ones who show the most initial interest. Basically, while there’s a good chance that a good relationship can spring if a guy has grow on a chick, there’s absolutely no chance of it happening if the opposite occurs.

But then I put my $9.99 worth of man pride aside and thought about it.

I considered the fact that, because men tend to be socialized to “conquer” while women tend to be socialized to commit, it takes a bit more for a man to entertain the idea of a long-term monogamous relationship than it usually does for a women. (and “it takes a bit more” = “he probably needs to be completely head over heels”)

I remembered that between pregnancy, (relatively) tiny reproductive windows, and the fact that sex is a much more potentially dangerous act for a woman than a man, it does kind of make sense for a woman to be completely sure that any man she chooses to lay with is completely gaga over her.

 

[Jay Kast]

Yeah....



No.




I honestly appreciate the reply, though.

(I love pseudo-intellectualism in the name of book sales, preying on the self conscious dating crowd)

Men, and women... never let someone have power over you. The risk outweighs the benefits every time.

 

[Queen]

This is not a new concept. Grandmothers have been giving that advice since before you and I were born.

I would agree to never get married if you are in a situation where the benefits don't add up. #GPB

 

[OneManGang]

Every so often I go to best buy and remember this thread



This dude really divorced his wife over a legitimate question about his dream of working in retail

Why is this shyt so funny?

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

This man done moved on and everything
And people trying to give him advice


He doing good