Getting a Divorce Brehs...

[Ziggiy]

Like hey breh's dont let a woman talk you down, come work at Best Buy we know how to treat people right.


Would be some shyt if Best Buy caught wind of this thread and fired him tho for whatever reason. You know certain companies dont play that with certain things.

lol I haven't divulged any information about the company or my job that would get me fired.

 

[beenz]

This thread has inspired a breh. I will update y'all on that tomorrow. Will start a new thread .

Let's just say that I was not always hoh. Sucker for love

:blessedrose:

 

[The ADD]

at this thread coming back to life. Seems like it worked out for dude at least, can't be mad at that

 

[illadope]

lol I haven't divulged any information about the company or my job that would get me fired.

i know breh, it just always seems like a "small" story like this blows up and the person that created it gets fired. I wish you many success and I hope youre good now. I was trying to read the outcome of things but fell asleep.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

I'm late on this thread. I don't know why y'all are so judgmental or even invested in what this man does with his marriage. nikka felt disrespected, said it was enough, and ended it. If more people were deliberate in their actions the world would be a better place.

Instead we have all these people in marriages that can't stand each other on the low and just do petty shyt to fukk with each other.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

It doesn't work that way, if I can support you and never complain during a time period in your life when you couldn't quite figure out what you wanted to do then you can certainly support me during a time period in my life when I KNOW what I want to do, and am willing to put in the work required to make it happen.

huuuuuuuuuu!

This shyt is gospel and is bringing back some memories. Sometimes I swear that good intentioned, educated women, can be some of the most ungrateful muhfukkas out there. A lot of times women in general can be SUPER ungrateful. Word to @Emperor_ReinScarf

I think it's just because as men, we don't really feel the need to publicize everything we do for them and they forget.

 

[25YOUTHS!!]

Good thread OP.
Sounds like you have a strong grasp of what you want in life and what you're willing to put up with as a man.
That level of disrespect, especially from a S/O is unacceptable imo and most times there's no coming back from it. You said you tried counseling (I skimmed this thread) so it probably wasn't just a slip of the tongue or miscommunication like others were implying here but a fundamental issue of principles and blatant disrespect for your vision and everyday hustle to make that vision a reality.
If it all went down the way you said I think you handled it correctly and it seems like it all worked out for the best.
Its interesting she was all supportive once the plan started coming to fruition...Or was she trying to make it work due to the counseling? Or did she come around once she realized you were serious bout the whole divorce thing?
Have ya'll talked bout it at all since the divorce?

Like hey breh's dont let a woman talk you down, come work at Best Buy we know how to treat people right.


Would be some shyt if Best Buy caught wind of this thread and fired him tho for whatever reason. You know certain companies dont play that with certain things.

Naw more like give him another promotion for his executive decision making skills

 

[GoFlipAPack]

#GMB

 

[Ziggiy]

Good thread OP.
Sounds like you have a strong grasp of what you want in life and what you're willing to put up with as a man.
That level of disrespect, especially from a S/O is unacceptable imo and most times there's no coming back from it. You said you tried counseling (I skimmed this thread) so it probably wasn't just a slip of the tongue or miscommunication like others were implying here but a fundamental issue of principles and blatant disrespect for your vision and everyday hustle to make that vision a reality.
If it all went down the way you said I think you handled it correctly and it seems like it all worked out for the best.
Its interesting she was all supportive once the plan started coming to fruition...Or was she trying to make it work due to the counseling? Or did she come around once she realized you were serious bout the whole divorce thing?
Have ya'll talked bout it at all since the divorce?





Naw more like give him another promotion for his executive decision making skills

She realized she fukked up after the second promotion and was trying to say she was sorry but by then it was already too late, any love for her I'd had as far as trying to make it work was gone. The last bit of effort I had in me was going to counseling but the core of who she was she wasn't trying to change. She expected me to do all the changing and her not to despite the fact I told her right in front of the counselor what my grievances were. I told her right to her face why that comment was the straw that broke the camel's back, in the end I don't think she thought I was actually serious about a divorce. She thought that because I'd known her for so long and our history that I'd simply stay. What she failed to realize was that it wasn't WHAT she'd say so much as the meaning and intent behind it. She truly thought I was going to fail. She was completely unwilling to listen to my side, even after breaking down my reasons and my plan, competely and utterly dismissive, unsupportive, and worse, she was WAITING for me to fail so that she could throw it in my face. Once she saw that I wasn't going to fail, had worked my way up FASTER then even I thought I would, and that the money was actually better in some ways than even the Army (in some ways I say because monthly and quarterly bonuses are ) only THEN did she offer support....





fukk outta here....


Like I said, by the third promotion, and seeing that her mind set wasn't going to change, I was done. I told her it was over, that I'd made it in SPITE of, not Becuase of her, and I was gone. I took my stuff to my best friend's crib, stayed with him for two weeks until I could secure an apartment, and filed for a no fault divorce.



As far as communication with her afterwards went. It's been few and far in-between. A text here or there, we met up in July to sign the final paperwork. It went amicably, she's got a new boyfriend and I've got a new girl. It's kind of funny a few weeks ago she texted me saying that she'd had a dream about us having sex and it surprised her. The sex wasn't EVER an issue between us but I didn't want to even go down that route so I just lol'd and kept the conversation on other things. She got a promotion at her job, says she happy with her new dude (I know him, he's another guy we went to school with who always had a crush on her) and I wished her well.


Meanwhile I took my girl to the Georgia National Fair last Saturday and had a blast.

Spoiler

 

[Samuel Jackson]

delete

 

[Neuromancer]

Another win for the #GMB

 

[Abstract83]

She realized she fukked up after the second promotion and was trying to say she was sorry but by then it was already too late, any love for her I'd had as far as trying to make it work was gone. The last bit of effort I had in me was going to counseling but the core of who she was she wasn't trying to change. She expected me to do all the changing and her not to despite the fact I told her right in front of the counselor what my grievances were. I told her right to her face why that comment was the straw that broke the camel's back, in the end I don't think she thought I was actually serious about a divorce. She thought that because I'd known her for so long and our history that I'd simply stay. What she failed to realize was that it wasn't WHAT she'd say so much as the meaning and intent behind it. She truly thought I was going to fail. She was completely unwilling to listen to my side, even after breaking down my reasons and my plan, competely and utterly dismissive, unsupportive, and worse, she was WAITING for me to fail so that she could throw it in my face. Once she saw that I wasn't going to fail, had worked my way up FASTER then even I thought I would, and that the money was actually better in some ways than even the Army (in some ways I say because monthly and quarterly bonuses are ) only THEN did she offer support....





fukk outta here....


Like I said, by the third promotion, and seeing that her mind set wasn't going to change, I was done. I told her it was over, that I'd made it in SPITE of, not Becuase of her, and I was gone. I took my stuff to my best friend's crib, stayed with him for two weeks until I could secure an apartment, and filed for a no fault divorce.



As far as communication with her afterwards went. It's been few and far in-between. A text here or there, we met up in July to sign the final paperwork. It went amicably, she's got a new boyfriend and I've got a new girl. It's kind of funny a few weeks ago she texted me saying that she'd had a dream about us having sex and it surprised her. The sex wasn't EVER an issue between us but I didn't want to even go down that route so I just lol'd and kept the conversation on other things. She got a promotion at her job, says she happy with her new dude (I know him, he's another guy we went to school with who always had a crush on her) and I wished her well.


Meanwhile I took my girl to the Georgia National Fair last Saturday and had a blast.

Spoiler

Props for not settling for disrespect. And doing ur thing despite the doubters. Goin after what u want. Some women dont recognize greatness until the dust settles. It was a learning experience and both of ya moved on without any fukkery.

 

[concise]

Get over yourself.


As I told you before. Me and her weren't for each other. No man should EVER tolerate a certain level of disrespect from ANY woman and she crossed the line.

You can disagree all you want with my career decision the fact of the matter is that I did exactly what I said I was going to do and made it work, and I am happy.

Make no mistake fellow black men of the Coli. This is NOT a #HOH thread nor is it a #GMB story. I eventually want to have children and therefore I will one day get married again because raising children in a two parent household, in my opinion, is always the best way. And I wish my ex no ill will whatsoever.


But I live by a standard of certain relationship principles. And after attempting to do everything I could to accomadate this woman for almost 10 years of knowing her and two and a half years of marriage, for her to look me in my face and dismissively tell me that I was going to be 38 years old making $12.50 and that she was an A1 chick....that's it. The line has been crossed and there is no going back. That was NOT a woman who was prepared to support me through sickness, health, good and bad. That's the type of talk that women give while taking you for half, while holding your children hostage from you, while talking shyt behind your back and starting an affair with their "work husbands" with the rationalization that they can do "better". This is the type of woman who many men allow to turn them angry and bitter against women.

I will not be anyone's fool. No woman, who is supposed to proudly call herself my wife will EVER look down on me or make blanket statements about me being a failure. She will simply be given bushes status

I accepted when she quit her job THREE times while I was in the Army Becuase she couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her future...

I accepted when she quit her job AGAIN while I was in Afghanistan (she didn't consult with me she just did it) Becuase she wanted to go to Law School and needed $500 a month for tutoring to take the test ($500 which came directly out of the savings account I was contributing too every month)


I accepted the years of her family resenting me Becuase I didn't go to college and they thought I wasn't "good enough" for her. Very rude and snobbish towards me and my family up towards our wedding. They finally came around during our first year and her stepfather told me that he'd been wrong about me all these years.



I accepted those things and never once made her feel badly or lesser of a person Becuase of it. I CERTAINLY never told her to her face that she was going to be a failure. At the end of the day, she thought and felt that HER goals and aspirations were "better" than mine, hence her disrespect and dismissive attitude. I simply chose NOT to accept such disrespect. As I said earlier a woman who feels she can belittle a man is going to eventually be his ruin. That's not a fate I accept for myself

I have stated althroughout the thread that I tried talking to her and reasoning with she about her attitude. More than once and yes, we did go to counseling. She would NOT change her attitude and for me what added insult to injury was that she never apologized or showed any remorse about what she said until AFTER I'd gotten my second promotion. Like I said she saw me get up every day at 4am to make that first Marta bus and take the two hour bus/train ride to work Becuase I let her have the car. She saw me working 50-60 hours a week, sometimes I wouldn't get home until 11pm-12am and she'd already eaten and gone to bed.

Then AFTER I left her she wanted to beg and plead. It doesn't work that way, if I can support you and never complain during a time period in your life when you couldn't quite figure out what you wanted to do then you can certainly support me during a time period in my life when I KNOW what I want to do, and am willing to put in the work required to make it happen.

these recent replies make things much clearer

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

Best Buy has not closed ANY stores whatsoever. All of you throwing shade at the job itself could at the very LEAST quote something accurate

And scared of her earning potential? That's almost comical...mom the one who supported her efforts to go to law school. Paid for her LSAT classes and books, the thought of her earning potential never crosse my mind as a negative....


And some of you are completely failing to see the deeper point. Divorcing her because she hurt my feelings? Absolutely not. Divorcing her because she proved with ONE comment that after almost ten years of knowing me, my personality, my drive, ambition, and commitment to success that she was ready to shyt on my goals and aspirations? In a fukking heartbeat.

The people closest to you should NEVER doubt certain things about you. Internet posters making jokes on a forum is one thing. We all crack on each other, troll each other, and such every day. We will never meet nor interact outside of this virtual canvas. However the actual PEOPLE in my life know how hard I work and how much I am willing to sacrifice for a goal. She witnessed it first hand for years before we were married. My entire adult life from the age of 19 until today has been dedicated to forging a future that I could look back and be proud of. I am PROUD of the work I put into Best Buy. That might mean little to all of you from the outside in, but it had better DAMN sure mean something to her, the woman I married, the woman supposedly CLOSEST to me.

I absolutely REFUSE to allow an individual to doubt me in such a disrespectful manner as to suggest I'll be 35 years old making 12.50. It is the equivalent of telling me that I haven't proved nor stood for a goddamn thing in the all the years you've known me.

If there's no children and no pressing financial needs and your combined income covers your expenses- I don't see why she'd be worried about it. Especially given your track record and work ethic. I'm a woman and I wouldn't underestimate a man's vision when he has a realistic plan to earn a good wage.

 

[Ziggiy]

*Update*

My General Manager just got back from a week long seminar where all of the GM's in Atlanta basically get together and have a conference with the District Managers and the higher-ups of the company. He called me Wednesday letting me know that an Assistant Store Manager position would be opening soon at another store, him and District Manager feel that I am ready to take on the position Becuase of my experience and all of the hard work that I've put in this year. I got the scoop that between 4 candidates I have a 70% chance of getting this position. I had my phone interview yesterday and it went fantastic, so now I've been passed on to the next phase which is the sit down interview with the General Manager of the store I am applying for. Tonight I will be putting together what we call a 30,60,90 (30 Day Plan, 60 day Results, 90 day Payoff) which is basically a plan to put in place that shows how I will positively impact the store in key categories within 90 days of my hiring.

This is a HUGE step towards my eventual goal of becoming a General Manager. To go from a part time sales associate, getting promoted 4 times to Specialty Sales Manager and then going to Assistant Store Manager within 2 years would be an absolutely incredible accomplishment and I am determined that this position will be mine. This will also put me right on schedule to make my 5 year plan a reality.


All of the hard work. The long days, making sure that my departments hit their revenue goals, becoming better and better and becoming more organized (I'm a driver and sales floor runner. I HATE paperwork but I've been steadily working on being more efficient) The people who told me I couldn't make it. The divorce. Working when I had the flu. Working when I was supposed to be on vacation. Work work work.

It all comes down to this....


My sit down interview will be this Tuesday. Wish me luck brehs!


#TPC