Society hates us
We get it from all angles and are gaslighted about it, it is socially acceptable to shyt on black men.
Young black boys take their first steps into the world battling against the very negative programming of every other demographic towards us. Contradicting messages of needing to be tough and aggressive, juxtaposed with trying not to be an unproductive, caricature. We are called the white men of the black community for attempting to embody leadership, discipline and structure while being called conquered at the same time.
What I have come to realize is that there is no right way to be a black man, no secret code where suddenly you will get that validation and acceptance from others. This is why I never call another breh arrogant, we have been pushed into a corner and it seems logical to put yourself first unapologetically. I will do the right things as I see it because of my own personal integrity but the need to be a good black man in the eyes of society has died for me.
I have been through that psychological, emotional and even spiritual crisis that I think many black teenagers are going through. The more perceptive and sensitive you are naturally, the worst all these contradicting messages have on you. You have to ground yourself in the real word, find something you can do very well and get better at while simultaneously developing your inner self, rebuild your identity and sense of self from scratch. Sometimes a fragmenting self pulling itself apart at the seams can be an opportunity for real growth but you have to weather the storm.