DaRealness
I think very deeply
Just bumping a classic thread for the jokes. 
Gus, my nikka, we won't ever forget this... 
↓R↑LYB
I trained Sheng Long and Shonuff
Mines was pretty bad, but at least I got to hit.
Met shorty through a friend at school after I had broken up with my ex. I was young in the game, and when I told a bytch wanna come to the crib and watch a movie, I really just wanted to just watch the movie
So we went to get something to eat, then back to my crib to watch blood diamonds I think. So we on the couch, the movie ended and I swear to god this is exactly what happened:
Her: I'm getting tired, I'm going to bed, you coming
Me: Oh aight, well I'm tired too
Her: I don't like to sleep with clothes on, is that ok
Me: Yeah that's cool, make yourself at home
*We in the room, it's dark, she butt naked under the sheets, and I'm fully dressed on top of the covers*
Her: Aren't you cold on top of the covers? Come under the sheets with me
Me: Ok, I'll get under with you
*Now I'm under the covers with all my clothes on, bytch in my bed butt ass naked*
Her: Sohh do you always sleep with your clothes on
Me: No, I usually sleep nake...............................
I swear to god bytch probably thought i was either gay or retarded
fukked the shyt outta her that night to make it up though
Met shorty through a friend at school after I had broken up with my ex. I was young in the game, and when I told a bytch wanna come to the crib and watch a movie, I really just wanted to just watch the movie
So we went to get something to eat, then back to my crib to watch blood diamonds I think. So we on the couch, the movie ended and I swear to god this is exactly what happened:
Her: I'm getting tired, I'm going to bed, you coming
Me: Oh aight, well I'm tired too
Her: I don't like to sleep with clothes on, is that ok
Me: Yeah that's cool, make yourself at home
*We in the room, it's dark, she butt naked under the sheets, and I'm fully dressed on top of the covers*
Her: Aren't you cold on top of the covers? Come under the sheets with me
Me: Ok, I'll get under with you
*Now I'm under the covers with all my clothes on, bytch in my bed butt ass naked*
Her: Sohh do you always sleep with your clothes on
Me: No, I usually sleep nake...............................
I swear to god bytch probably thought i was either gay or retarded
fukked the shyt outta her that night to make it up though
DeuceZ
Li pitit gason
Mines was pretty bad, but at least I got to hit.
Met shorty through a friend at school after I had broken up with my ex. I was young in the game, and when I told a bytch wanna come to the crib and watch a movie, I really just wanted to just watch the movie
So we went to get something to eat, then back to my crib to watch blood diamonds I think. So we on the couch, the movie ended and I swear to god this is exactly what happened:
Her: I'm getting tired, I'm going to bed, you coming
Me: Oh aight, well I'm tired too
Her: I don't like to sleep with clothes on, is that ok
Me: Yeah that's cool, make yourself at home
*We in the room, it's dark, she butt naked under the sheets, and I'm fully dressed on top of the covers*
Her: Aren't you cold on top of the covers? Come under the sheets with me
Me: Ok, I'll get under with you
*Now I'm under the covers with all my clothes on, bytch in my bed butt ass naked*
Her: Sohh do you always sleep with your clothes on
Me: No, I usually sleep nake...............................
I swear to god bytch probably thought i was either gay or retarded
fukked the shyt outta her that night to make it up though
I was readin this like
until you said you ended up smashing 
Completely. I just noticed this sexy Kim K looking chick was looking at me like her Kanye.
She's in Dubai now
She's in Dubai now
yea i had a former miss____(not sayin the state name) tell me how sexy i was
..her friends were cheerleaders for an NBA team and one of em told me she had a crush on me
.. the other one told me i could have any girl i wanted
i never fukked a single one of them
another time i had two chicks in my bed one of em was bi and the other one was this beautiful girl id had a crush on for like a year
they both asked me why i never tried to have sex with em before and then proceeded to ask to see my dikk
i was so drunk i laughed it off
on some joke shyt thought they were bullshyttin type shyt
..ended up sleepin in my bed with my crush chick (didnt smash)after the bi chick bounced cause she was lowkey shytty i wasnt payin much attention to her
woke up the next day after my crush left and fully realized the extent of what i totally fukked myself over on
..her friends were cheerleaders for an NBA team and one of em told me she had a crush on me .. the other one told me i could have any girl i wantedi never fukked a single one of them
another time i had two chicks in my bed one of em was bi and the other one was this beautiful girl id had a crush on for like a year
they both asked me why i never tried to have sex with em before and then proceeded to ask to see my dikk
i was so drunk i laughed it off
on some joke shyt thought they were bullshyttin type shyt..ended up sleepin in my bed with my crush chick (didnt smash)after the bi chick bounced cause she was lowkey shytty i wasnt payin much attention to herwoke up the next day after my crush left and fully realized the extent of what i totally fukked myself over on
I still beat myself up over this shyt even to this day. 
Peep this.
I had a girl in my chemistry class freshman year. She was a brunette chick. She wasn't a PAWG because she had a small but round ass but she had some huge fukkin t*ts for being so skinny. She looked EXACTLY like this but with slightly bigger t*ts:
I sit by her in lecture and I started talking to her one day out of boredom. I made her laugh, act like I typically do, and she gave me her number so we can hang out or study even though I never asked for it. *First Flag* Later on throughout the beginning of the semester we start hanging out outside of class along with studying. She always preferred hanging out than studying with me *second flag* and we would talk for hours and text, call each other all the time.
I remember one day in Starbucks, she was telling me I was cute, all this other stuff and I laughed and said thank you. *Third Flag* I add her on Facebook eventually. (This was when when Myspace was still somewhat relevant but everyone was starting to hop on that Facebook game) and I found out she was a model. By model, I mean a fukkin MAXIM type of shyt model. She was with a legit company too that did different types of shoots. I knew she was hot but I didn't know she this hot.
Now I started to suspect she liked me but I didn't know if she actually did or not. I had girlfriends before but she was literally the HOTTEST girl I fukked with up until this point. I didn't think I could get a girl as hot as her so I decided to ignore any chances of hitting homegirl up.
This was the near the last and biggest signal. We were studying in the library for a test. I was next to her pretty close and I noticed she kept staring at me and shyt. *Fourth Flag* I thought it was wierd. I tried to ignore it and she looked like she wasn't really into studying and she was twirling her hair in her finger smiling like she was up to something while acting extra touchy feely. *Fifth Flag* This particular day I noticed she was wearing this thin ass muscle T-shyt, victoria secret type bra and she had on the shortest fukking shorts I've ever seen in my life. Her legs was as smooth as a fukkin' velvet and they were perfectly tan. She only had on flip flops. Then out of nowhere she was like
"Heyyyy, you wanna just go back to my apartment for a few hours... There's nobody over there."
She was had this huge grin on her face and her eyes lit up a bit waiting for me to respond. *You get the point that there were A LOT OF FUKKING FLAGS!*
Now I paused for a moment on some
tip because I been over to her apartment before and I didn't know why she wanted me over there for hours now. Also I didn't understand why she had to emphasis why we would be alone because she never did that whenever she invited me over to her apartment.
What are we even going to be doing and why did she emphasis that we will be by ourselves for hours?
She always told we what we would do whenever she invited me over to her apartment so I don't know why she was acting so sketchy about it.
I told her I was going to head back to my apartment and call it a day and play some COD with my roommate.
She asked if I could at least walk her to her apartment. I still don't know what the fukk was going on in my head but I was like sure.
On the way back, she was like
You sure you don't want to go back to my apartment with me?
I was like "Nahhh, I'd really like to head back to my dorm.
*oblivious*"
She was like alright.... she gave me a hug and squeezed me tight before she went off. I watched her ass jiggle in those short ass white khaki shorts as she walked off.
It wasn't until later when I put the pieces together and realize after it was too late to call her that
I think she was trying to sleep with me...
I was so fukking retarded when I was a freshman and I usually pick up on things like this but she was so hot, I didn't think she would want to hook up with me. You know that girl that likes you but you're like "Why in the hell is she with me?", that was my mindset.
I psyched myself out because she was practically a model and she was the baddest chick I ever talked to so I didn't think I was in her league. She stopped coming onto me as hard after that apartment incident and I tried correcting my mistake but it was too late. She moved on...
Despite fukking up with her, I made it up later that semester when I went to the club with a certified PAWG, blond, blue eyes, cute as fukk and we were practically dry humping before I fingered her. I got to clap cheeks after the club and I made SURE I didn't fukk up this time.
I learned a valuable lesson about not acting like a complete bytch and putting women on pedestals just because they are ridiculously hot.
Peep this.
I had a girl in my chemistry class freshman year. She was a brunette chick. She wasn't a PAWG because she had a small but round ass but she had some huge fukkin t*ts for being so skinny. She looked EXACTLY like this but with slightly bigger t*ts:
I sit by her in lecture and I started talking to her one day out of boredom. I made her laugh, act like I typically do, and she gave me her number so we can hang out or study even though I never asked for it. *First Flag* Later on throughout the beginning of the semester we start hanging out outside of class along with studying. She always preferred hanging out than studying with me *second flag* and we would talk for hours and text, call each other all the time.
I remember one day in Starbucks, she was telling me I was cute, all this other stuff and I laughed and said thank you. *Third Flag* I add her on Facebook eventually. (This was when when Myspace was still somewhat relevant but everyone was starting to hop on that Facebook game) and I found out she was a model. By model, I mean a fukkin MAXIM type of shyt model. She was with a legit company too that did different types of shoots. I knew she was hot but I didn't know she this hot.
Now I started to suspect she liked me but I didn't know if she actually did or not. I had girlfriends before but she was literally the HOTTEST girl I fukked with up until this point. I didn't think I could get a girl as hot as her so I decided to ignore any chances of hitting homegirl up.
This was the near the last and biggest signal. We were studying in the library for a test. I was next to her pretty close and I noticed she kept staring at me and shyt. *Fourth Flag* I thought it was wierd. I tried to ignore it and she looked like she wasn't really into studying and she was twirling her hair in her finger smiling like she was up to something while acting extra touchy feely. *Fifth Flag* This particular day I noticed she was wearing this thin ass muscle T-shyt, victoria secret type bra and she had on the shortest fukking shorts I've ever seen in my life. Her legs was as smooth as a fukkin' velvet and they were perfectly tan. She only had on flip flops. Then out of nowhere she was like
"Heyyyy, you wanna just go back to my apartment for a few hours... There's nobody over there.
"She was had this huge grin on her face and her eyes lit up a bit waiting for me to respond. *You get the point that there were A LOT OF FUKKING FLAGS!*
Now I paused for a moment on some
What are we even going to be doing and why did she emphasis that we will be by ourselves for hours?
I told her I was going to head back to my apartment and call it a day and play some COD with my roommate.
She asked if I could at least walk her to her apartment. I still don't know what the fukk was going on in my head but I was like sure.
On the way back, she was like
You sure you don't want to go back to my apartment with me?
I was like "Nahhh, I'd really like to head back to my dorm.
She was like alright.... she gave me a hug and squeezed me tight before she went off. I watched her ass jiggle in those short ass white khaki shorts as she walked off.
It wasn't until later when I put the pieces together and realize after it was too late to call her that
I was so fukking retarded when I was a freshman and I usually pick up on things like this but she was so hot, I didn't think she would want to hook up with me. You know that girl that likes you but you're like "Why in the hell is she with me?", that was my mindset.
I psyched myself out because she was practically a model and she was the baddest chick I ever talked to so I didn't think I was in her league. She stopped coming onto me as hard after that apartment incident and I tried correcting my mistake but it was too late. She moved on...
Despite fukking up with her, I made it up later that semester when I went to the club with a certified PAWG, blond, blue eyes, cute as fukk and we were practically dry humping before I fingered her. I got to clap cheeks after the club and I made SURE I didn't fukk up this time.
I learned a valuable lesson about not acting like a complete bytch and putting women on pedestals just because they are ridiculously hot.
I still beat myself up over this shyt even to this day.
Peep this.
I had a girl in my chemistry class freshman year. She was a brunette chick. She wasn't a PAWG because she had a small but round ass but she had some huge fukkin t*ts for being so skinny. She looked EXACTLY like this but with slightly bigger t*ts:
I sit by her in lecture and I started talking to her one day out of boredom. I made her laugh, act like I typically do, and she gave me her number so we can hang out or study even though I never asked for it. *First Flag* Later on throughout the beginning of the semester we start hanging out outside of class along with studying. She always preferred hanging out than studying with me *second flag* and we would talk for hours and text, call each other all the time.
I remember one day in Starbucks, she was telling me I was cute, all this other stuff and I laughed and said thank you. *Third Flag* I add her on Facebook eventually. (This was when when Myspace was still somewhat relevant but everyone was starting to hop on that Facebook game) and I found out she was a model. By model, I mean a fukkin MAXIM type of shyt model. She was with a legit company too that did different types of shoots. I knew she was hot but I didn't know she this hot.
Now I started to suspect she liked me but I didn't know if she actually did or not. I had girlfriends before but she was literally the HOTTEST girl I fukked with up until this point. I didn't think I could get a girl as hot as her so I decided to ignore any chances of hitting homegirl up.
This was the near the last and biggest signal. We were studying in the library for a test. I was next to her pretty close and I noticed she kept staring at me and shyt. *Fourth Flag* I thought it was wierd. I tried to ignore it and she looked like she wasn't really into studying and she was twirling her hair in her finger smiling like she was up to something while acting extra touchy feely. *Fifth Flag* This particular day I noticed she was wearing this thin ass muscle T-shyt, victoria secret type bra and she had on the shortest fukking shorts I've ever seen in my life. Her legs was as smooth as a fukkin' velvet and they were perfectly tan. She only had on flip flops. Then out of nowhere she was like
"Heyyyy, you wanna just go back to my apartment for a few hours... There's nobody over there.
She was had this huge grin on her face and her eyes lit up a bit waiting for me to respond. *You get the point that there were A LOT OF FUKKING FLAGS!*
Now I paused for a moment on sometip because I been over to her apartment before and I didn't know why she wanted me over there for hours now. Also I didn't understand why she had to emphasis why we would be alone because she never did that whenever she invited me over to her apartment.
What are we even going to be doing and why did she emphasis that we will be by ourselves for hours?She always told we what we would do whenever she invited me over to her apartment so I don't know why she was acting so sketchy about it.
I told her I was going to head back to my apartment and call it a day and play some COD with my roommate.
She asked if I could at least walk her to her apartment. I still don't know what the fukk was going on in my head but I was like sure.
On the way back, she was like
You sure you don't want to go back to my apartment with me?
I was like "Nahhh, I'd really like to head back to my dorm.*oblivious*"
She was like alright.... she gave me a hug and squeezed me tight before she went off. I watched her ass jiggle in those short ass white khaki shorts as she walked off.
It wasn't until later when I put the pieces together and realize after it was too late to call her that
I think she was trying to sleep with me...
I was so fukking retarded when I was a freshman and I usually pick up on things like this but she was so hot, I didn't think she would want to hook up with me. You know that girl that likes you but you're like "Why in the hell is she with me?", that was my mindset.
I psyched myself out because she was practically a model and she was the baddest chick I ever talked to so I didn't think I was in her league. She stopped coming onto me as hard after that apartment incident and I tried correcting my mistake but it was too late. She moved on...
Despite fukking up with her, I made it up later that semester when I went to the club with a certified PAWG, blond, blue eyes, cute as fukk and we were practically dry humping before I fingered her. I got to clap cheeks after the club and I made SURE I didn't fukk up this time.
I learned a valuable lesson about not acting like a complete bytch and putting women on pedestals just because they are ridiculously hot.
I love this thread.I still beat myself up over this shyt even to this day.
Peep this.
I had a girl in my chemistry class freshman year. She was a brunette chick. She wasn't a PAWG because she had a small but round ass but she had some huge fukkin t*ts for being so skinny. She looked EXACTLY like this but with slightly bigger t*ts:
I sit by her in lecture and I started talking to her one day out of boredom. I made her laugh, act like I typically do, and she gave me her number so we can hang out or study even though I never asked for it. *First Flag* Later on throughout the beginning of the semester we start hanging out outside of class along with studying. She always preferred hanging out than studying with me *second flag* and we would talk for hours and text, call each other all the time.
I remember one day in Starbucks, she was telling me I was cute, all this other stuff and I laughed and said thank you. *Third Flag* I add her on Facebook eventually. (This was when when Myspace was still somewhat relevant but everyone was starting to hop on that Facebook game) and I found out she was a model. By model, I mean a fukkin MAXIM type of shyt model. She was with a legit company too that did different types of shoots. I knew she was hot but I didn't know she this hot.
Now I started to suspect she liked me but I didn't know if she actually did or not. I had girlfriends before but she was literally the HOTTEST girl I fukked with up until this point. I didn't think I could get a girl as hot as her so I decided to ignore any chances of hitting homegirl up.
This was the near the last and biggest signal. We were studying in the library for a test. I was next to her pretty close and I noticed she kept staring at me and shyt. *Fourth Flag* I thought it was wierd. I tried to ignore it and she looked like she wasn't really into studying and she was twirling her hair in her finger smiling like she was up to something while acting extra touchy feely. *Fifth Flag* This particular day I noticed she was wearing this thin ass muscle T-shyt, victoria secret type bra and she had on the shortest fukking shorts I've ever seen in my life. Her legs was as smooth as a fukkin' velvet and they were perfectly tan. She only had on flip flops. Then out of nowhere she was like
"Heyyyy, you wanna just go back to my apartment for a few hours... There's nobody over there.
She was had this huge grin on her face and her eyes lit up a bit waiting for me to respond. *You get the point that there were A LOT OF FUKKING FLAGS!*
Now I paused for a moment on sometip because I been over to her apartment before and I didn't know why she wanted me over there for hours now. Also I didn't understand why she had to emphasis why we would be alone because she never did that whenever she invited me over to her apartment.
What are we even going to be doing and why did she emphasis that we will be by ourselves for hours?She always told we what we would do whenever she invited me over to her apartment so I don't know why she was acting so sketchy about it.
I told her I was going to head back to my apartment and call it a day and play some COD with my roommate.
She asked if I could at least walk her to her apartment. I still don't know what the fukk was going on in my head but I was like sure.
On the way back, she was like
You sure you don't want to go back to my apartment with me?
I was like "Nahhh, I'd really like to head back to my dorm.*oblivious*"
She was like alright.... she gave me a hug and squeezed me tight before she went off. I watched her ass jiggle in those short ass white khaki shorts as she walked off.
It wasn't until later when I put the pieces together and realize after it was too late to call her that
I think she was trying to sleep with me...
I was so fukking retarded when I was a freshman and I usually pick up on things like this but she was so hot, I didn't think she would want to hook up with me. You know that girl that likes you but you're like "Why in the hell is she with me?", that was my mindset.
I psyched myself out because she was practically a model and she was the baddest chick I ever talked to so I didn't think I was in her league. She stopped coming onto me as hard after that apartment incident and I tried correcting my mistake but it was too late. She moved on...
Despite fukking up with her, I made it up later that semester when I went to the club with a certified PAWG, blond, blue eyes, cute as fukk and we were practically dry humping before I fingered her. I got to clap cheeks after the club and I made SURE I didn't fukk up this time.
I learned a valuable lesson about not acting like a complete bytch and putting women on pedestals just because they are ridiculously hot.
MAN I'M THE KING OF THIS shyt. I AM TOTALLY CLUELESS WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN INDIRECTLY TRYING TO GET AT ME. I DONE WALKED AWAY FROM SOME QUALITY CHICKS AND HAD NO IDEA UNTIL SOMEBODY BRINGS IT UP LATER. AND THEN I'M LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
I literally wanted to KILL myself after that.
I made sure I never put another woman on a pedestal after that. I learned my lesson THE HARD WAY!!!
