Ethically non monogamous relationships and why are men falling for it?

[bammtronics]

Just because women *can* get sex easily doesn't automatically mean they act on it. They don't operate on sex the way we do.

 

[Rell Lauren]

Where do y’all get the idea that women can easily pick and choose men to get their backs blown out on a normal occurrence? Times have changed and women are becoming increasingly difficult to deal with. I’ve turned a number of women down for one reason or another. And most times women will navigate away from the thirsty types. Coli really comes across like a bunch of desperate ass dudes a lot of the time.

You can turn a woman down, but it's easier for a woman to get sex than a man. We've all done it at some point. It's why the femcel movement that's growing online doesn't make sense. If they put in some effort to how they carried themselves, they could find someone desperate enough to sleep with them and KIM.

 

[SunZoo]

You can turn a woman down, but it's easier for a woman to get sex than a man. We've all done it at some point. It's why the femcel movement that's growing online doesn't make sense. If they put in some effort to how they carried themselves, they could find someone desperate enough to sleep with them and KIM.

LOL that is not how women usually operate fam. Women are well aware that there are men that will literally fukk a Mc Chicken sandwhich to get a nut. If they are celibate they are consciously or subconsciously holding out for more than an obvious pity fukk. Even a good pity fukk is going to provide some sort of illusion.

 

[Numpsay]

You can turn a woman down, but it's easier for a woman to get sex than a man. We've all done it at some point. It's why the femcel movement that's growing online doesn't make sense. If they put in some effort to how they carried themselves, they could find someone desperate enough to sleep with them and KIM.

The point you and most are missing is they don't want someone that is just desperate to sleep with anything walking. These women want who they want as well and most of the time it ain't attainable to them either. In fact I think women are even more delusional when it comes to who they think they can attract. The majority of women aren't an 8 or above but all of them think they are 10s. And now social media is fukking all their heads up in more ways than 1. There is a growing femcel movement because these women ain't really getting down like y'all think they are.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

I’m so confused. Isn’t this just an offset of side chick/side dikk culture?

I swear a lotta people have issues being single these days. AND in relationships. Some seem to thrive in gray areas and come up with all this fancy stuff thinking they being cute.

 

[SunZoo]

I’m so confused. Isn’t this just an offset of side chick/side dikk culture?

I swear a lotta people have issues being single these days. AND in relationships. Some seem to thrive in gray areas and come up with all this fancy stuff thinking they being cute.

"It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it — that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished — as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease. We had to be discreet and, if the word can be apt, honorable in our behavior, both to ourselves, to whomever else might be involved, and most of all, to the family. And for the most part, we were.”

But looking back, I’d say no matter what did or did not happen, we freed each other. And in doing that, we also freed ourselves…Sex is fine, but love is better. That’s the most important part of being free”

^That is what ethical non-monogamy looks like, removed from all the immaturity and 'gray area' that people like to wade around in. This extends to connections that may be more emotionally intimate than just sex/side piece scenario.
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[Goat poster]

I'm willing to have an honest conversation about it for two reasons:

1. There is a lot of misconception, projection and ignorance about the topic.
2. Given an understanding beyond surface level cac jargon might actually help some men here navigate their relationships better.

Truth

I don’t know why folks get so uptight about this subject.

Most people don’t practice true monogamy anyway , they either CHEAT or practice SERIAL MONOGAMY when they are with a new person every couple months/years.

 

[Phitz]

I'm polyam/ENM and I didn't 'fall' for anything, it was a natural progression into more love and connection.



All relationships take some sort of commitment if they are to flourish. Commitment meaning you show up, be reliable, accountable ect. That applies to friends and family, not just romantic partners. Sex is not at the centerpiece of being present with the people you care about.

Right, I can show up and be reliable to my neighbor, my dog and my fish the same way. I'm committed to my community just like that. I don't have a community penis but I'm committed in all other forms. Again, appears to be glorified FWB, To each their own

 

[Problematic Pat]

Why are you assuming the men are just sitting at home doing nothing in this situation? The only man that agrees to that arrangement is one who knows he can easily get p*ssy or is some sort of cuckold that enjoys knowing his girlfriend is being smashed by someone else.

Those kind of arrangements can ONLY ever work if youre the kind of guy that gets women easily. I've seen many stories of men who think they can do that, and then get humbled real quick when they realize that their girlfriend has a much easier time attracting men than he does attracting women.

It also happens the other way around where the man gets a younger girlfriend while the wife is stuck on struggle mode.

 

[FeverPitch2]

Don't fall for this shyt.

 

[SunZoo]

Right, I can show up and be reliable to my neighbor, my dog and my fish the same way. I'm committed to my community just like that. I don't have a community penis but I'm committed in all other forms. Again, appears to be glorified FWB, To each their own

I don't think you're supposed to show up for your neighbor, dog or fish the same way you do for people, especially the women in your life. Every relationship has it's own needs, boundaries and commitments. The reason why I replied to your post is because you highlighted 'committed' in the context of (romantic) relationships and asked how can someone be committed while "exercising options", as in you can't be committed to one person romantically when you most certainly can.

While non-monogamy can range all the way from "FWB" situations to true intimate partnerships, I would say FWB's don't require very much commitment or investment. You can't just reduce the concept to 'community dikk/p*ssy' because if we removed sex from the equation all together people would say such and such is emotionally cheating if their partner were to establish any intimacy with someone who isn't them.

 

[Scustin Bieburr]

"It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it — that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished — as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease. We had to be discreet and, if the word can be apt, honorable in our behavior, both to ourselves, to whomever else might be involved, and most of all, to the family. And for the most part, we were.”

But looking back, I’d say no matter what did or did not happen, we freed each other. And in doing that, we also freed ourselves…Sex is fine, but love is better. That’s the most important part of being free”

^That is what ethical non-monogamy looks like, removed from all the immaturity and 'gray area' that people like to wade around in. This extends to connections that may be more emotionally intimate than just sex/side piece scenario.
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This is far more common than people think. Like I said earlier in the thread, they just didn't have the name for it but they definitely did this shyt in the past. You hear phrases like "I accept him for who he is, and his imperfections" "we are always honest with eachother and understanding" "he goes out but he always comes home to me. He is always next to me when I wake up"

these wives and girlfriends knew their husband was fukkin cause they were doing it too or they understood that a man who is in high demand will struggle to commit to one person sexually but has zero problem committing emotionally. He can smash all the side pieces he wants but when one of them tells him he should leave his wife he tells her to never bring that shyt up again or else he's gone.

A lot of marriages have these secret arrangements but its considered immoral to talk about it.

 

[tgu]

What’s the difference between an open relationship and enm? Just sounds like a new term for a thing that already existed

 

[Kasgoinjail]

It's rare for me to find some one that can keep up with my sexual appitite, so it's even more obvious if they tryna make me share

 

[Mowgli]

Broke