Eboni K. Williams back on The Breakfast Club, this time defending comments on women seeking marriage and degrees

[Red11]

This is the convo that Black girls are supposed to get in high school/undergrad like the other races.

Asian & White girls are told to find that doctor, engineer, etc in undergrad/grad school. Black girls don’t get that talk.

I didn’t understand why my family was so pressed about Education & buying homes, etc when no man gave a damn about what I majored in or what I did for work
Like sure, they wanted to know schools and all that, but they weren’t tripping because they weren’t looking for someone to help pay the bills. I always found it weird how the less accomplished women in my family had less stress and husbands who did everything.


Younger girls need to pay attention to what Ebony is saying.

Tell them Spelman sisters to walk they ass across the street lol jk but seriously

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

Eboni comes off strongly, which turns people off. But guest host was in her feelings from the beginning. She was given the floor to fully express everything she felt about the clip. But then started to cut Eboni off when she heard things she didn’t like. She didn’t calm down until Eboni told her she was speaking from her own personal experience and a place of vulnerability.

The difference is a bit generational and a little expectations based. Guest host is 30. Still in a great place to meet a good man and get married and have kids. So these types of conversations get her insecurity going because she’s right at that stage where she isn’t young anymore. Eboni is 40 and clearly understands her stage in life. She knows where she falls on the dating market and what she’s willing and unwilling to sacrifice. A typical career woman. Want to be married but doesnt want to be married enough to sacrifice the things she wants. The key is that she understands this and lives accordingly. Guest host is still trying to figure out where she falls.

This is still besides the point. Eboni is bitter. It happens, but she's talking down to everyone else.

GOOD LUCK

 

[Wiseborn]

They gotta get somebody else up there with a mouthpiece who can cracc her muffin in a debate. Debating mfs like Charlemagne, Envy and now the Lauren chick is a layup for her. Bring somebody on who's closer to her in talk-ability to really refute her bullshyt.

Why? Charla could debunk her herself he alluded to her using KS's talking points in the "debate""
This is just her wining about her personal situation ( again which Charla pointed out)

To debunk her all you have to do is post that KS meme she debunked herself.

 

[Wiseborn]

I agree.

There needs to be a sit down with some of the Moms, however. This is chicken and the egg.

Bingo the Mothers of these momma raised son husbands are set up for failure.

There's a lot to be said about how Modern Black women would not date their dads well a lot of single mothers with son husbands would never date their actual son husbands.

 

[Voice of Reason]

This is still besides the point. Eboni is bitter. It happens, but she's talking down to everyone else.

GOOD LUCK

You can acknowledge that she’s mostly correct in this instance right?

 

[Red11]

When BW are younger, they're dating off swag and style, other races are dating off future potential

Then women in our community get an epiphany when they're older and try to change course but it's often too late by then (not impossible but, harder).

Spelman sisters ain't sitting in front of Morehouse School of Medicine or the engineering library. "Meeting a man" and being married aren't the same thing.
Its just a fact. Women have to get the romantic part of their life completed and earlier. Men MUST get the economic part of their life figured out (at some point lol, but earlier the better).

 

[Red11]

That’s the thing- young Eboni probably would’ve listened because you would not only be giving advice but showing real examples in the world with other relationships.


The problem is, again, I don’t think brehs fully understand that young black women hear the exact OPPOSITE of what girls of other races are told. The stuff Eboni said she was taught is literally the blueprint of what most millennial Black women were told. Noooooow everyone’s looking around like “Oh damn, mama was wrong”.

I’ve said it before- I have older cousins in their 40s, highly accomplished, but the type of man you really want to marry isn’t a man who literally NEEDS or REQUIRES that you match or exceed his salary/achievements.

I have divorced guys in my fam who only want to date women who are equally as accomplished as them. But that’s because they still have kids in HS & college and if they were to try to be with women 10+ years younger they’d have to PAY.

It’s like my situation…he’s divorced and the kids are in junior/high school however he threw all his accomplishments on the damn table when we first met so that I knew that he would kinda make it worth it .

If my fam had really kept it real and said being pretty with a good attitude was enough, the degree is to complete your pedigree and serve as security in case you end up divorced or widowed, I would’ve just married one of the successful dudes who was in my face when I was younger lol

Hey you are pretty level headed. I am agreeing with you more over the last year. I'm going soft.

 

[Gloxina]

Lol. I don't know why yall make this such a thing with the cooking and cleaning. I've never entertained this type of woman, but I'm familiar nonetheless-- more and more of you get no satisfaction from "keeping" a home or cooking for loved ones. It's usually unwifable women that automatically list these as negatives. You ignored the duties I highlighted for men. The women I was fortunate enough to date loved keeping a home clean and nice and jumped at the chance to have me try their recipes. I'm also a clean freak and love to cook, so there's balance there. But the number of women binge drinking and prescribed to anti-depressants is showing that what seems like a less-stressful "freer" life is having a negative impact on a macro level for women.

Because we enjoy doing that stuff for our man/husband. Duh.

When life really gets going and you have full on family duties it isn’t the same.
No, it’s not just about cooking. It’s running the damn household.

It’s fine- I’m not getting into it. The men who grew up with stay at home moms/grandmothers know what I’m talking about

 

[Gloxina]

Hey you are pretty level headed. I am agreeing with you more over the last year. I'm going soft.

Thank you. There are more of us than y’all may realize.
That’s actually why I like this place…the sexes really don’t talk to each other about this stuff and I think it helps us all if we can get each other’s perspective.

 

[Gloxina]

Tell them Spelman sisters to walk they ass across the street lol jk but seriously

Traditionally, the Morehouse men are supposed to be walking across the street seeking Spelman women, no? Lol

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

 

[TripleAgent]

I can hear why she's fine and rich yet single and childless.

 

[Iceson Beckford]

If my fam had really kept it real and said being pretty with a good attitude was enough, the degree is to complete your pedigree and serve as security in case you end up divorced or widowed, I would’ve just married one of the successful dudes who was in my face when I was younger lol

Pretty much this

I’d want my daughter to be degree educated for herself. Not to find a man or to even impress a boss. Just for her own development.

Having a good attitude and discernment will put you ahead of 95% of women.

 

[Wiseborn]

Traditionally, the Morehouse men are supposed to be walking across the street seeking Spelman women, no? Lol

They call it spellhouse

 

[Serious]

I feel you. No one wants a raw deal


From a woman’s perspective, working FT and doing majority of the housework and rearing takes a toll. A lot of elders didn’t complain to their husbands and sons, but complained to US. I have a relative who was a VP, weekly meetings, in the office @7am everyday, sweeping and mopping the kitchen after dinner every night while hubby sat back watching tv. She didn’t get upset and start keeping it real until decades into the marriage, and basically advised me to use my looks while I have them to marry someone who will take care of me.

Working FT, most of the housework, and possibly getting cheated on.

Girls are hearing men scream about submission, telling them to find a guy who wants to provide while they’re young, telling them they aren’t an 8+ so why do they think they deserve to stay home, yet also saying the money they bring in is worthless to men…


Are the young men who want to marry and build plentiful? Are they actually proposing to their girls? Or do they feel like they need to wait or get through the player stage? Men on this very forum have stated how when they get their $ up around 30 or so that’s the player stage and they’re going to have fun. How common is that with everyone else?

Both sexes have things that need to be addressed

It's important to recognize that achieving a certain level of comfort for a man requires a significant investment of time, discipline, dedication, sacrifice, opportunity cost, and intention. So, yes, it's perfectly reasonable for them to enjoy themselves and have fun.

It's worth acknowledging that women also enjoy their younger years. Moreover, it's not unfounded for some men to claim that women often change their preferences as they grow older. The individuals they date at 20 may not be the same as those they choose at 30. In fact, many women I know have stories of dating men ten years their senior when they were between the ages of 19 and 22.

Additionally, it's noteworthy that an increasing number of people are opting to postpone marriage and starting families, as highlighted in this article: [Link to Article](https://www.mprnews.org/episode/2023/08/14/more-people-are-saying-knot-yet-and-waiting-to-marry-later-in-life).

More people are saying 'knot yet' and waiting to marry later in life

MPR News host Angela Davis and her guests talk about the shift in marriage trends across the country. They will discuss people delaying marriage, the decline in divorce rates and what marriage therapy involves.

www.mprnews.org

This approach aligns with my belief that individuals should possess a deeper understanding of themselves, their desires, and their needs before committing to marriage. This self-awareness enables them to remain authentic rather than putting on a facade. Personally, as a man, I aim to avoid entering into a relationship with a woman who pursues marriage solely for validation, prioritizing the wedding over the actual relationship. I believe that many people find themselves trapped in unsatisfying marriages or arrangements they despise.

As for me, I've taken the time to prepare myself for the concept of marriage. I've engaged in introspection to understand the kind of partner I would be in a marriage and what I can contribute to a relationship. Everyday tasks such as cooking and cleaning are not a concern for me, as I naturally handle them on a daily basis after work. Furthermore, I intend to outsource tasks when feasible, like hiring a maid for weekly house cleaning. A question I often pose to the women I date is their stance on hiring a maid, as I prefer to avoid conflicts over household chores, especially after a long workweek.

I've also streamlined my daily routines by opting for online grocery shopping, saving time that would otherwise be wasted in traffic and at checkout lines. What matters most to me is finding a partner who is on an equal intellectual footing, not just in terms of finances, though that does hold a certain level of importance. But I'd be lying if I said I was seriously looking at the moment.