Eboni K. Williams back on The Breakfast Club, this time defending comments on women seeking marriage and degrees

[Wiseborn]

I agree. Only thing I’d add is we need to produce more way more of the Black Men women should be “competing” for. The problem is there aren’t enough in comparison to the amount of young women out here. That’s why interracial dating HAS to be on the table for at least a small segment of ladies. If every single black woman of marrying age was ready to be married, there wouldn’t be enough age appropriate brehs (because no other group tries to normalize everyone being with a man 10+ years your senior) to go around.
People expect black girls to be competing for a small group of men which is crazy and unfair to black girls.
Ask the college aged Black girls VS the white and Asian girls. Which group of guys is trying putting to rings on their fingers? These are 22YO graduates with 35YO men lmao

The bolded is not true unless you're saying that women don't mind being side pieces and 78th wives of dudes because there's more than enough Pookies for the starkeishas out there.

Despite Black on Black crime you never hear hood botches ever say there's a lack of Men to deal with.

The problem is Black women just ain't willing to deal with the Black Men willing to date them.

Look at Ebony she won't date a bus driver but she was down to be the side piece of a extra average old ass cracker.

Everyone including Black women says that Ebony has an extremely slick mouth so she could either take care of a pretty boy or shut her mouth and deal with a rich nikka ( or cracker) and chill. but she rather get an IVF.

IR needs to be on the table because a decent amount of Black women are very open to acting right with the whites.

 

[Gloxina]

Definitely.

Before pointing fingers at any gender, people just need to be honest about what they themselves bring to the table and what matters to them.

Household I grew up in, my parents were married until my father passed going on six years ago.

He had a great state job that offered overtime, and he cleared 150k annually with that job.
My mother was an executive assistant and cleared maybe a third of what he did.

Still with this imbalance at play, he was the primary cook in the house.
Primary grocery buyer.

He kept outside immaculate, we(my siblings and myself) kept the inside via chores. Washing floors, cleaning bathrooms, dusting furniture(Murphys or Pledge) doing dishes nightly.
My mom handled laundry(until we were old enough to do our own) and just general upkeep.

As far as I know, he never felt he was being overworked or anything of that sort because he loved his family and part of that love was feeding us.

So if anyone gets into a relationship with the expectation of what they're getting vs what they're bringing, call it all off last week, you're wasting each other's time.

You grew up in a great household. Most don’t have those wholesome examples.

 

[Gloxina]

The bolded is not true unless you're saying that women don't mind being side pieces and 78th wives of dudes because there's more than enough Pookies for the starkeishas out there.

Despite Black on Black crime you never hear hood botches ever say there's a lack of Men to deal with.

The problem is Black women just ain't willing to deal with the Black Men willing to date them.

Look at Ebony she won't date a bus driver but she was down to be the side piece of a extra average old ass cracker.

Everyone including Black women says that Ebony has an extremely slick mouth so she could either take care of a pretty boy or shut her mouth and deal with a rich nikka ( or cracker) and chill. but she rather get an IVF.

IR needs to be on the table because a decent amount of Black women are very open to acting right with the whites.

Eh. Eboni priced herself outta the game unless she’s willing to go older. Could’ve easily pulled an Angela Rye if she was chill.
I’m not telling a multimillionaire woman to get a bus driver just like I’m not telling a fit man with a healthy lifestyle that since the fit black women around him all have attitudes he needs to pick a fat black woman who is nice. Lol Common sense says that he’s going to just pick a fit woman of another race. Which is what some brehs do. Eboni’s issue is her attitude. 40yr old black women still out here getting chosen by brehs/others who are late 40s/50. Waiting too long is an issue in general, but in her case it’s definitely the mouth.

 

[Gloxina]

Because all of the bolded is mostly self serving and a way for them to get everything they want and then decide whether or not they want to give the woman any type of commitment in return. In the past, this strategy has worked. In fact, in the present women still mold themselves to everything they think men want (long hair, baddie estetic, big butts) and men turn around and say they really want the opposite. A Black woman can be submissive, pleasant, skinny, poor, and will still be single. But now we have more women are making their own money, living how they want, and don't care as much about what men think. The more resources any person has, the less they have to put up with. Which is why I always encourage women to be their best and happiest selves in whichever way that means to them. This will more than likely attract the right person, and you are still fulfilled in the meantime.

Oh, YOU RIGHT! I spell it out like that because they say “modern men” don’t want marriage, but this is what women are being told to do and accept. What men are saying to young women doesn’t sound appealing either lol

 

[KillerB88]

With 2 salaries most in this country can’t afford to do that LOL Hence the discussion around the topic

? You didn't say a just now. Why did you list those as negatives when those are your responsibilities with or without a man? But now you're also responsible for physical/masculine tasks and your personal security?

 

[Wiseborn]

Eh. Eboni priced herself outta the game unless she’s willing to go older. Could’ve easily pulled an Angela Rye if she was chill.
I’m not telling a multimillionaire woman to get a bus driver just like I’m not telling a fit man with a healthy lifestyle that since the fit black women around him all have attitudes he needs to pick a fat black woman who is nice. Lol Common sense says that he’s going to just pick a fit woman of another race. Which is what some brehs do. Eboni’s issue is her attitude. 40yr old black women still out here getting chosen by brehs/others who are late 40s/50. Waiting too long is an issue in general, but in her case it’s definitely the mouth.

That's true but she seemed to act right to those white dudes she dealt with so it seems to be an issue with a lot of BW's in her situation that they're not compatible to Black Men but are compatible to while dudes and I'm surmise that it's because Black women are willing to compromise and compete for white guys in a way that they won't do for Black Men of any stripe.

Her last cac bushed her for his kids and when she asked him to seed her up he said he didn't want more kids.

So the issue with her wasn't her mouth.

 

[Gloxina]

? You didn't say a just now. Why did you list those as negatives when those are your responsibilities with or without a man? But now you're also responsible for physical/masculine tasks and your personal security?

They are my responsibilities when I’m an individual- sure!

Cooking, cleaning for 3+ is NOT the same as cooking/cleaning for oneself.

Just like a man will tell you paying for the lifestyle/housing of a family of 3+ is NOT the same as him paying to house himself as an individual.

 

[Ozymandeas]

This is the convo that Black girls are supposed to get in high school/undergrad like the other races.

Asian & White girls are told to find that doctor, engineer, etc in undergrad/grad school. Black girls don’t get that talk.

I didn’t understand why my family was so pressed about Education & buying homes, etc when no man gave a damn about what I majored in or what I did for work
Like sure, they wanted to know schools and all that, but they weren’t tripping because they weren’t looking for someone to help pay the bills. I always found it weird how the less accomplished women in my family had less stress and husbands who did everything.


Younger girls need to pay attention to what Ebony is saying.

It feeds directly into the T.O. thread.

When BW are younger, they're dating off swag and style, other races are dating off future potential

Then women in our community get an epiphany when they're older and try to change course but it's often too late by then (not impossible but, harder).

 

[Scaaar]

With 2 salaries most in this country can’t afford to do that LOL Hence the discussion around the topic

Why not just split the household duties? That's the most sensible thing to do. You're a team, a unit you're supposed to cover each other in that union. That's a unnecessary expense especially if you don't have it like that.

 

[Trav]

They gotta get somebody else up there with a mouthpiece who can cracc her muffin in a debate. Debating mfs like Charlemagne, Envy and now the Lauren chick is a layup for her. Bring somebody on who's closer to her in talk-ability to really refute her bullshyt.

 

[Scaaar]

Eh. Eboni priced herself outta the game unless she’s willing to go older. Could’ve easily pulled an Angela Rye if she was chill.
I’m not telling a multimillionaire woman to get a bus driver just like I’m not telling a fit man with a healthy lifestyle that since the fit black women around him all have attitudes he needs to pick a fat black woman who is nice. Lol Common sense says that he’s going to just pick a fit woman of another race. Which is what some brehs do. Eboni’s issue is her attitude. 40yr old black women still out here getting chosen by brehs/others who are late 40s/50. Waiting too long is an issue in general, but in her case it’s definitely the mouth.

She definitely seems like she's a handful to deal with. She's too good for the regular breh but she's too successful to play her role with the man she desires
She's trapped in a rugged wasteland of her own creation.

 

[yung Herbie Hancock]

@V Skyye hit it out the park. Both parents teach girls to focus heavily on education and career because majority of Black women will never have the option to be a housewife wife because of the economic realities of our community. Coupled with the fact that a lot of young men aren’t taught to prepare to be husbands at the same younger age as guys of other races, the number of guys we lost (this number is decreasing in our generation) to the streets/drugs, etc. I think our parents saw women who couldn’t afford to be dependent in a culture that didn’t encourage it. No one wants to raise a daughter who isn’t prepared for the realities of Black life, but they forgot to mention dating with intention while young.

The mere fact everyone is making a big deal about how few young (meaning ~same age) black men want families and are in college preparing, means the odds aren’t in most young Black women's favor! So either

1- tell your daughters to get their career/money up to be ready in case they won’t find a capable breh
2- the community gets more young black men prepared like other races do
3- tell your Black daughters it’s ok to consider dating out, especially since there’s a segment of Black men who have no issue dating out.

The convo is starting to revolve around the fact that there aren’t many younger Black men prepared/looking for marriage as compared to other races. Instead of addressing that, the focus is just on younger Black women starting the search sooner. Where’s the convo around younger Black men? Is there nothing they need to do?

It would seem like we need to do both: Black girls have to keep their eyes and options open and black men need to be prepared for partnership EARLIER.

For all the talk about older Black men having more options, are they actually marrying younger women? Or just having fun because they have options? Shouldn’t marriage rates between younger women/older men be increasing??
What’s going on in our community where neither younger or older established black men are seeking marriage?

That'll never happen. For example, Kimberly Crenshaw is actively trying to get the "my brothers keeper" program canceled. You hesrs that right..mm she's spent the last 10 years trying to get a program for black boys canceled. You can't achieve much with feminists like this.

She even recently attended a confrence in EUROPE where she cried about how the program "doesn't represent justice"

Disciplining Anti-racism: My Brother

Kimberlé W. Crenshaw, pioneering scholar in the fields of critical race theory, civil rights, and Black feminist legal theory, will present her paper at the Law Department

www.eui.eu

 

[KillerB88]

They are my responsibilities when I’m an individual- sure!

Cooking, cleaning for 3+ is NOT the same as cooking/cleaning for oneself.

Just like a man will tell you paying for the lifestyle/housing of a family of 3+ is NOT the same as him paying to house himself as an individual.

Lol. I don't know why yall make this such a thing with the cooking and cleaning. I've never entertained this type of woman, but I'm familiar nonetheless-- more and more of you get no satisfaction from "keeping" a home or cooking for loved ones. It's usually unwifable women that automatically list these as negatives. You ignored the duties I highlighted for men. The women I was fortunate enough to date loved keeping a home clean and nice and jumped at the chance to have me try their recipes. I'm also a clean freak and love to cook, so there's balance there. But the number of women binge drinking and prescribed to anti-depressants is showing that what seems like a less-stressful "freer" life is having a negative impact on a macro level for women.

 

[Red11]

Definitely.

Before pointing fingers at any gender, people just need to be honest about what they themselves bring to the table and what matters to them.

Household I grew up in, my parents were married until my father passed going on six years ago.

He had a great state job that offered overtime, and he cleared 150k annually with that job.
My mother was an executive assistant and cleared maybe a third of what he did.

Still with this imbalance at play, he was the primary cook in the house.
Primary grocery buyer.

He kept outside immaculate, we(my siblings and myself) kept the inside via chores. Washing floors, cleaning bathrooms, dusting furniture(Murphys or Pledge) doing dishes nightly.
My mom handled laundry(until we were old enough to do our own) and just general upkeep.

As far as I know, he never felt he was being overworked or anything of that sort because he loved his family and part of that love was feeding us.

So if anyone gets into a relationship with the expectation of what they're getting vs what they're bringing, call it all off last week, you're wasting each other's time.

Exactly my household...my Mom definitely cleaned all day Saturday and went over homework every night. We weren't rich and we didn't go on vacation oversees. We didn't live above our means at all. He saved and gave me a great gift of not having to worry about him in retirement. He got 3 million and I don't have the black tax.

 

[Red11]

I agree. Only thing I’d add is we need to produce more way more of the Black Men women should be “competing” for. The problem is there aren’t enough in comparison to the amount of young women out here. That’s why interracial dating HAS to be on the table for at least a small segment of ladies. If every single black woman of marrying age was ready to be married, there wouldn’t be enough age appropriate brehs (because no other group tries to normalize everyone being with a man 10+ years your senior) to go around.
People expect black girls to be competing for a small group of men which is crazy and unfair to black girls.
Ask the college aged Black girls VS the white and Asian girls. Which group of guys is trying putting to rings on their fingers? These are 22YO graduates with 35YO men lmao

I agree.

There needs to be a sit down with some of the Moms, however. This is chicken and the egg.