Date from hell
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Did a double date as a favor for a friend and this chick I was with was a wino, straight up and down. We ate, and then we went bar hoppin. Me, not being a much of a drinker, already knew it was going to end up being fukked up
They ended up getting lost in the crowd on the street outside a bar and left me alone with her drunk ass. If I was grimey I would have just left her, but stuck with her for 2 hrs before I drove her home when my friend and his girl didn't answer the phone. Bish kept whispering in my ear, touching my crotch n shyt while I was driving and tried to get on top of me at a red light, hanging out my moon-roof and everything
Never again
2 hours with a sloppy drunk on a 1st date. And you were a wingman.
You're a true gentleman.
Took a stripper to dinner once...I'm talkin DIME+...
Capt. Save-a-ho mentality
Long story short took the ho to a bar afterwards tryin to pretend like she's a stripper with a heart of gold instead of a beautiful whore...
...suddenly it hit me sittin at the bar with her...I'm on a fukkin date with a prostitute
I was sowit myself I didn even pursue hittin it afterwards , jus dropped the bytch off and bounced
You should have just fukked my nikka. You stacked a L on top of an L with that oneShe was trying to be funny/cute? Or she was doing this like it was no big deal? Like she just placed the napkin on her lap?
I mean, that's awkward, but if she did it to be funny..actually no, it's still awkward.
This thread has potential 
No real bad "dates" but I have a story that's is damn near the epitome of Ludacris ft Snoop Dogg Who let these Hoes in my room...Five black hoes and they looked like trash but one was a midget so we'll say four and a half...Well it was 3 but yea I might type it later, I gotta paper to write
No real bad "dates" but I have a story that's is damn near the epitome of Ludacris ft Snoop Dogg Who let these Hoes in my room...Five black hoes and they looked like trash but one was a midget so we'll say four and a half...Well it was 3 but yea I might type it later, I gotta paper to write
Uncle Kingpin
No Relation
fukk no, she's the reason i had to get Mr. Number on my phone. I blocked her calls, but she sent me streams of texts, one more desperate than the other. Life is too short, cant civilize the uncivilized. I hope she goes to rehab tho, cuz she's a raging alchoholic.
some were crazy too. i used to date one.
Marco Zen
Black Privilege
IKR! Don't remind me nikka , pride got in the way of me bussin one
This guy was trying to get at me so hard this summer. I wasn't feeling him but he kept saying he wanted to just be my friend and take me out in the city. 
So I let him. He took me to some pretty good spots and knows everyone in the nightclub/bar scene so it's cool. Anyway, he asks me to go Archives one day. It's all good and fine. We are walking back to his place and...
Him:
That's my girl
Me: Girl?
Her: *On the other side of the street looking mad as hell*
Him: Oh shyt
Her: *runs into traffic to get to his ass* WTF ARE YOU DOING? THE GIRL AT THE FRONT SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING WOMEN IN OUR HOME!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: GIVE ME THE KEYS TO MY fukkING CAR!
Him: I don't have them. They are at the house
Her: YOU ARE A LYING MOTHERfukkER! THEN GIVE ME $ FOR A CAB. I NEED TO GET TO A JOB INTERVIEW!
Him: I don't have any money
Her: YOU ARE A GOD DAMN LIAR! I GAVE YOU A $100 THIS MORNING!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: *Looks at me* Are you suppose to be dating him?
Me:
Nah.
Her: *goes back to cussing him out*
Me:
At that point I walk to a park to eat the food he had bought me and call my girl friend and tell her about this funny shyt. When I get there he starts blowing up my phone telling me how sorry he was. He come to the park and tries to feed me this line about her being his "crazy" ex.
I just eat and listen to this lying fool. Needlessly to say that was the end of that.
So I let him. He took me to some pretty good spots and knows everyone in the nightclub/bar scene so it's cool. Anyway, he asks me to go Archives one day. It's all good and fine. We are walking back to his place and...Him:
That's my girlMe: Girl?
Her: *On the other side of the street looking mad as hell*
Him: Oh shyt
Her: *runs into traffic to get to his ass* WTF ARE YOU DOING? THE GIRL AT THE FRONT SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING WOMEN IN OUR HOME!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: GIVE ME THE KEYS TO MY fukkING CAR!
Him: I don't have them. They are at the house
Her: YOU ARE A LYING MOTHERfukkER! THEN GIVE ME $ FOR A CAB. I NEED TO GET TO A JOB INTERVIEW!
Him: I don't have any money
Her: YOU ARE A GOD DAMN LIAR! I GAVE YOU A $100 THIS MORNING!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: *Looks at me* Are you suppose to be dating him?
Me:
Nah.Her: *goes back to cussing him out*
Me:
At that point I walk to a park to eat the food he had bought me and call my girl friend and tell her about this funny shyt. When I get there he starts blowing up my phone telling me how sorry he was. He come to the park and tries to feed me this line about her being his "crazy" ex.
I just eat and listen to this lying fool. Needlessly to say that was the end of that.
Desirous
Action expresses priorities
lol cheaters never prosper.This guy was trying to get at me so hard this summer. I wasn't feeling him but he kept saying he wanted to just be my friend and take me out in the city.
Him:
Me: Girl?
Her: *On the other side of the street looking mad as hell*
Him: Oh shyt
Her: *runs into traffic to get to his ass* WTF ARE YOU DOING? THE GIRL AT THE FRONT SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING WOMEN IN OUR HOME!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: GIVE ME THE KEYS TO MY fukkING CAR!
Him: I don't have them. They are at the house
Her: YOU ARE A LYING MOTHERfukkER! THEN GIVE ME $ FOR A CAB. I NEED TO GET TO A JOB INTERVIEW!
Him: I don't have any money
Her: YOU ARE A GOD DAMN LIAR! I GAVE YOU A $100 THIS MORNING!
Him: *Deer in headlights*
Her: *Looks at me* Are you suppose to be dating him?
Me:
Her: *goes back to cussing him out*
Me:
At that point I walk to a park to eat the food he had bought me and call my girl friend and tell her about this funny shyt. When I get there he starts blowing up my phone telling me how sorry he was. He come to the park and tries to feed me this line about her being his "crazy" ex.
Illuminatos
#OVOXO
I had one about a year or 2 ago with this chick I met from POF. She had been trying to get up with me for over and a week and even invited me over to her place for dinner. I declined since my boy was coming into town that evening. So she invited me to a college football game on a Saturday. At first I was hesitant because I thought what if I'm not feeling this chick...I have to sit through a 3 hour game with herbut when I met her in person she had a lazy eye. I didn't really mind because it wasn't really noticeable and I couldn't even tell in her pics. What really got me was the sound she kept making with her nose and it was annoying the hell out of me. She kept laughing at her own jokes and they weren't even funny. I sat there in silence for about 2 quarters thinking how could I get myself out of this mess
I almost just left the stadium and left her stranded, her car was about 3 miles away but I stuck it out and stayed for the whole game. After the game she wanted to go out to eat but I told her I was tired and needed a nap from such a long day. I dropped her off at her car and she wouldn't move from out in front of my car until I hugged her
I literally sat there for 30 secs and thought about it hitting her with my jeep but that probably would of turned her on. So I get a text from her later that night saying she had a great time and she asked if I wanted to go with her to the fair the next day. I told her
I already had plans. This bytch proceeds to cuss me out via text because I didn't want to spend time with her. I was all ready to go in on her but just ignored her but she kept blowing my phone up talking about she was sorry for acting that way and I'm such a nice guy and how it would never happen again
After about 30 text and emails from her I just said look there won't be anymore dates and you seemed to have some issues and good luck in the future. About 5 months later she sends me a bikini pic of her in Jamaica celebrating her 30th bday.
back when i was 18 i was in desperation mode. was driving and this vampire looking chubby redhead pulled up next to me at a red light. she was eyeing me and waving and shyt .she was prolly a 3/10 but i had been doing nothing but masturbating and drinking beer for the past year so i figured i needed to get back in the game and start slow by smashing a fatty. i told her to follow me and we pulled over at a park. we walked around and then she gave me typical above average fat chick head. right after the nut in my head i was . but whatever i gave her my number because i felt bad. she called me for 6 months in a row, no lie, with me not answering even one time. she would leave messages on my voicemail as long as you could. and not just once, im taking like 50 plus 10 minutes messages. i ended up changing my number she was crazy.
no joke all of her messages where like this but 10 min long
. but whatever i gave her my number because i felt bad. she called me for 6 months in a row, no lie, with me not answering even one time. she would leave messages on my voicemail as long as you could. and not just once, im taking like 50 plus 10 minutes messages. i ended up changing my number she was crazy.no joke all of her messages where like this but 10 min long
Long story short. He didn't have an actual plan. Had to change into my back up outfit at his apt. He tries to come in the room while Im changing. Friend was on date in the backseat like a child. Kept playing R. Kelly. Would not stop playing R. Kelly. Place we were going was closed, forced to ride around with more R.Kelly. Says he is not into hip hop. Says call him Slow Jammin Jay. "Child" in the backseat, co-signs Slow Jammin Jay. Get back to his apt. I can't be too sure but I think the friend tried to get at me. I run to my car.
Fast forward, my best friend calls and tells me about this horrible date she had. She is describing some of the date and I am like "Wait, don't tell me...did he call himself slow Jammin Jay?!
" Remember when I told you about the worst date ever?!" Bwaaaaaaaahahha
Fast forward he sees us downtown, tries to talk to my friend I walk ahead trying to contain my laughter. He comes up to me to talk to me. Im like do you remember? He looks like Yooooo. Bwaaahahhahha "slow Jammin jay!" We walk away crying.
Fast forward, my best friend calls and tells me about this horrible date she had. She is describing some of the date and I am like "Wait, don't tell me...did he call himself slow Jammin Jay?!
" Remember when I told you about the worst date ever?!" Bwaaaaaaaahahha Fast forward he sees us downtown, tries to talk to my friend I walk ahead trying to contain my laughter. He comes up to me to talk to me. Im like do you remember? He looks like Yooooo. Bwaaahahhahha "slow Jammin jay!" We walk away crying.
61 Corpses
The Breh
This thread has potential
No real bad "dates" but I have a story that's is damn near the epitome of Ludacris ft Snoop Dogg Who let these Hoes in my room...Five black hoes and they looked like trash but one was a midget so we'll say four and a half...Well it was 3 but yea I might type it later, I gotta paper to write
SLOW JAMMIN JAY!!!!!! Classic fa sho