Coli Wives (Real Housewives of the Coli)

[Milk N Cookies]

but I have some sextapes, noods, love to sext, love sex outdoors. I wanna be in playboy

@Dog Based Gremlin is your neighbor from a few houses down. He's cool with my hubby. he told him word on the block is talk about you and ur outdoor sex acts... if that pool area could talk...


@Dog Based Gremlin didn't see anything. Just neighborhood hearsay.

 

[Aphrodite]

@Dog Based Gremlin is your neighbor from a few houses down. He's cool with my hubby @thadd man he told him word on the block is talk about you and ur outdoor sex acts... if that pool area could talk...


@Dog Based Gremlin didn't see anything. Just neighborhood hearsay.

 

[Lewis Black]

This thread reminds me of when me and my boy Robert use to write wrestling storylines in the 3rd grade

 

[Milk N Cookies]

Since we got tons of new chicks let's bump this

 

[Ziggiy]

Who u wit?

I'm a writer on the rise, just finishing up my magnum opus which is an interconnected web series, album, and poetry book which I have been working on the better part of a year. After my two year relationship with @Azul ends because she is offered a prominent marketing position overseas, I am dissilusioned with the concept of love and throw all of my focus and energy into finishing my project, with a string of one night stands on the side. My two best friends @Illeye buckmatic and @BmoreGorilla hangout often and they always tell me I should be pursuing someone like @Colicat , who is a longtime acquaintance and owner of the sports bar we frequent. @Colicat and I have a love-hate relationship mostly due to our radically different views on modern day relationships. Coli-cat feels that a man should always love his woman slightly more than she loves him, so that it minimizes the potential for a woman to be hurt or manipulated. I scoff at this notion and joke that she will either end up alone or with some spineless simp (probably @DarkHorse23 ). Our banter is more that of two siblings than possible lovers, until one day me, @Illeye buckmatic and @BmoreGorilla are attending the local Black Excellence Black Tie event in support of funding for the United Negro College Fund and Coli-Cat shows up. Except this isn't the bantering, bickering, nagging Coli-Cat. This is QUEEN Coli-cat, with the face of Teyonah Parris, the grace of Misty Copeland, the smile of Sanaa Lathan, and the ass of Serena Williams. My eyes pop out and my mouth falls open. Illeye nudges me telling that I'm embarrassing myself, Bmore laughs and tells me he's been saying all along she was the truth.

I walk up to her playfully, telling her she cleans up nice but I still need her to get me a drink. She shoots back that I should get it for myself, and then bring HER one to pay her back for all the years of free drinks we got at her expense. We banter a bit, and then I ask rather stupidly, "you want to get out of here and go to Waffle House?" She stops and gives me a look, I panic inwardly thinking I blew it. But she laughs and says "sure but it's on you" I give Illeye and Bmore a nod and we bounce...


Part 2 coming soon...

 

[Illeye buckmatic]

I'm a writer on the rise, just finishing up my magnum opus which is an interconnected web series, album, and poetry book which I have been working on the better part of a year. After my two year relationship with @Azul ends because she is offered a prominent marketing position overseas, I am dissilusioned with the concept of love and throw all of my focus and energy into finishing my project, with a string of one night stands on the side. My two best friends @Illeye buckmatic and @BmoreGorilla hangout often and they always tell me I should be pursuing someone like @Colicat , who is a longtime acquaintance and owner of the sports bar we frequent. @Colicat and I have a love-hate relationship mostly due to our radically different views on modern day relationships. Coli-cat feels that a man should always love his woman slightly more than she loves him, so that it minimizes the potential for a woman to be hurt or manipulated. I scoff at this notion and joke that she will either end up alone or with some spineless simp (probably @DarkHorse23 ). Our banter is more that of two siblings than possible lovers, until one day me, @Illeye buckmatic and @BmoreGorilla are attending the local Black Excellence Black Tie event in support of funding for the United Negro College Fund and Coli-Cat shows up. Except this isn't the bantering, bickering, nagging Coli-Cat. This is QUEEN Coli-cat, with the face of Teyonah Parris, the grace of Misty Copeland, the smile of Sanaa Lathan, and the ass of Serena Williams. My eyes pop out and my mouth falls open. Illeye nudges me telling that I'm embarrassing myself, Bmore laughs and tells me he's been saying all along she was the truth.

I walk up to her playfully, telling her she cleans up nice but I still need her to get me a drink. She shoots back that I should get it for myself, and then bring HER one to pay her back for all the years of free drinks we got at her expense. We banter a bit, and then I ask rather stupidly, "you want to get out of here and go to Waffle House?" She stops and gives me a look, I panic inwardly thinking I blew it. But she laughs and says "sure but it's on you" I give Illeye and Bmore a nod and we bounce...


Part 2 coming soon...

Gonna be a classic:naswon:

 

[Colicat]

I'm a writer on the rise, just finishing up my magnum opus which is an interconnected web series, album, and poetry book which I have been working on the better part of a year. After my two year relationship with @Azul ends because she is offered a prominent marketing position overseas, I am dissilusioned with the concept of love and throw all of my focus and energy into finishing my project, with a string of one night stands on the side. My two best friends @Illeye buckmatic and @BmoreGorilla hangout often and they always tell me I should be pursuing someone like @Colicat , who is a longtime acquaintance and owner of the sports bar we frequent. @Colicat and I have a love-hate relationship mostly due to our radically different views on modern day relationships. Coli-cat feels that a man should always love his woman slightly more than she loves him, so that it minimizes the potential for a woman to be hurt or manipulated. I scoff at this notion and joke that she will either end up alone or with some spineless simp (probably @DarkHorse23 ). Our banter is more that of two siblings than possible lovers, until one day me, @Illeye buckmatic and @BmoreGorilla are attending the local Black Excellence Black Tie event in support of funding for the United Negro College Fund and Coli-Cat shows up. Except this isn't the bantering, bickering, nagging Coli-Cat. This is QUEEN Coli-cat, with the face of Teyonah Parris, the grace of Misty Copeland, the smile of Sanaa Lathan, and the ass of Serena Williams. My eyes pop out and my mouth falls open. Illeye nudges me telling that I'm embarrassing myself, Bmore laughs and tells me he's been saying all along she was the truth.

I walk up to her playfully, telling her she cleans up nice but I still need her to get me a drink. She shoots back that I should get it for myself, and then bring HER one to pay her back for all the years of free drinks we got at her expense. We banter a bit, and then I ask rather stupidly, "you want to get out of here and go to Waffle House?" She stops and gives me a look, I panic inwardly thinking I blew it. But she laughs and says "sure but it's on you" I give Illeye and Bmore a nod and we bounce...


Part 2 coming soon...

 

[Ziggiy]

We're at Waffle House, I order the Hashbrown smothered in chili and chunked with ham, with a light waffle and a lemonade. @Colicat orders the All Star, eggs scrambled hard with cheese and wheat toast. We start off talking about the election and our diminishing belief in the government. We both agree that the only one who can save us is Michelle Obama in 2020. She laughs at my joke about Kanye West running and Kim becoming First Lady. We talk about the state of African American consciousness and what can be done to further the advancement of our people. She remarks that she's never seen me in this light before, I state similar sentiments. We both smile and she says "Well don't go falling in love now. Because I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not looking for one" and look her dead in her face and say "good, because I don't have a girlfriend, and I'm not looking for one.."

The scene then cuts to us at my apartment, kissing ferociously, clothes disappear as if they never existed. I clutch her skin as if i'm attempting to fuse with it, immersing myself in the thrill of her very existence. She acquiesces and pulls me close holding me as tightly as she once did her teddy bear in the days of lost youth. Her wants are my needs, her passion is my mission, her skin is my nourishment, her body is my paradise. And then we join, as one flesh, years of friendship melt away into a moment of pleasure in a blinding flash. There are no words, there are no cries, there is only ecstasy..

And in this moment I truly understand. That her body is mine, but my soul is hers...

Part 3 coming soon...

 

[Milk N Cookies]

@Ziggiy you tryin to get a spin off already??

 

[Princess Coco]

Update: Ive been out of of prison for a while now. @marcuz and I found love in a hopeless place and trying to have a baby. My businesses are doing amazing (). Life is great

 

[Ziggiy]

The faint echoes of morning sunlight gently awaken my consciousness as I slowly open my eyes. Questions begin to rapidly pool my groggy brain, was last night real? Was it all a dream brought upon by the crazy musings of a mad writer? Or was it..could it possibly be that...it happened?!?
The answer is quickly found in the warm breathing of @Colicat sleeping body. Pressed against my chest as the faint wisps of her perfume sweetly enter my nostrils. It really happened, a night of passion and intimacy so enchanting that I hesitate to move for fear of waking her and breaking the spell. How do I handle this situation? Do I play it ice cold like Andre 3000 or do I bare my soul like Drake's best ghostwriters? Is she the vampire sent by the demons of lover's past to suck the last drops of chivalry from my soul or is she my peanut butter chocolate cake with kook-aid? I breathe deeply as I consign myself to the fact that there is only one way to find out. Before I can gently wake her a buzzing sound can be heard coming from my side of the bed, I look over to realize that it is my phone. I pick it up to see that it's a group message from @BmoreGorilla and @Illeye buckmatic . "Did dinner turn into breakfast or what nikka?" Illeye asks in all caps. "Stay woke! nikkas creeping!" Bmore replies. I laugh silently, but instead of answering with my usual triumphant bravado I put the phone on silent and set it back down. I turn around to see Coli-cat facing me, her sleepy eyes a mixture of beauty and concern. She yawns softly and sits up, her body glazed with cinnamon sugar and caramel. She smiles, looks at me, and says sharply, "I hope you have something other than Irish Spring soap and Speed stick, because after last night I need a luxurious cleaning."

I laugh loudly, my dream girl is bad AND bougie!


Part 4 coming soon....

 

[Ziggiy]

A few weeks pass, and I'm like Mos Def with Ms. Fat Booty. Infatuated and blinded. If i'm not at work or slaving away at finishing my project, I'm with @Colicat . At the park frolicking like school children. At Six Flags joshing around like a naive teenager. I send flowers to her job just because. I write her morning poetry and send it via text so it's the first thing she reads when she wakes up. Her smile is my salve and her kiss is my cure. @Illeye buckmatic and @BmoreGorilla are telling me I'm losing my balance, but what do they know? Bmore is casually dating coli's friend @Milk N Cookies but he's not ready to commit because he always lived that playa lifestyle. Illeye keeps a steady stream of women in his roster, none of whom stick around long enough to even remember their faces, let alone their names. @Colicat is an intoxicating presence, her very aura has me producing the best work I've ever done, on some Andre and Erykah shyt. They convince me to come to the bar on a night when Coli won't be there to catch up, I agree, their still my aces at the end of the day. I walk into the bar and even though it's only been a few weeks, it feels like years. But everything is still the same. @Art Barr is at a corner table schooling some youngins on the origins of Hip Hop, he's a cool dude, but he's one of those guys who won't give the Gawd Nas his props so we can't debate for more than 10 minutes without it becoming a blood feud. @Billy Ocean and @hustlemania are a couple tables down debating which Wu-Tang solo album is the best, those two are thick as thieves but let Hustle SUGGEST that Ironman is better than OBFCL and their ready to knife one another. @MartyMcFly is the only one actually watching the movie on the tv screen (AMC's commercial free version of Spider-Man 2) and I think I might see that cute girl @CinnaSlim with her homegirls @Lady.Libra. and @Out2TheOld setting thirst traps for some young fools ready to part ways with their wallets to splurge on free drinks. Illeye and Bmore greet me at our usual spot and we sit down to order some wings and fries (ranch dressing of course)

Illeye: So what's good Zig? You been Ghost on your Boys for a minute

Bmore: word


Me: nah fellas it ain't like that. I've just been working and trying to catch up on my project

Illeye: nikka don't lie on your project. Ever since that night with @Colicat your ass been on FB and Instagram looking like @stomachlines when a new Jennifer Lawrence movie drops, sprung as all hell.

Bmore: Word

Me: nah guys I swear we just been kicking it. You know how I do. Keeping it pimpin

Illeye: Look at this nikka Bmore, all blushing and shyt. This fool can't even LIE like he means it. He done caught the Jones, our man is tapped out.

Bmore: word

Me: aight fukk it. I'm feeling her. I'm feeling her hard man. She's the chronic. She gets and supports my dreams brehs! How am I supposed to resist that

Illeye: bro you KNOW the rule. No falling in love until at least a YEAR of dating, with a flawless record of daily sex and nightly meal cooking. Do I need to call up @Born2BKing and have him recite the #GMB handbook!?

Bmore: word








Part 5 coming soon

 

[Travellin' Man]

De fukk?

 

[MartyMcFly]

What fukkery is this thread

 

[MartyMcFly]

Also, kinda in my feelings nobody wanted to make me their coli husband. It's cool tho