Your posts makes a lot of sense, but has black marriage ever been high? Looking at previous generations, was black single mothers just as high?
Let’s just say I’ve seen and heard a lot about black grandfathers. Very few of my black friends have fathers who were in the home. My parents were married, but divorced when we were young. My mom remarried a few years later. My dad never remarried.
I think black children seeing their mothers pay all the bills, work, and do everything alone imprints the belief that fathers aren’t necessary. I’ve heard countless black men say you don’t need a dad, all you need is a mom, then say they didn’t have a dad, and they turned out fine. Those men went on to have children, and not be that involved. Giving the mother money, and hanging out for a few hours every other weekend is not active parenting. It’s almost like they view being fathers as a mentorship, where they have the ability to contact them 24/7, but aren’t a day to day active parent.
I’ve also heard black women say the same thing about not needing a father, but I bet if the fathers of those babies wanted to marry them, they would. Those men are present at the baby showers. Elaborate baby showers are more prevalent in the black community than weddings. I’ve also heard a black woman encourage another black woman to marry a rich ugly man, and just have a better looking man on the side.
This was a 45 year old married black woman. She’s a friend of my friend’s wife, and in our social circle. In over a decade, I’ve never seen this woman’s husband. With that said, I’ve messed with married white women, so they’re doing it too.
