Bitter Black Men: redefining manhood (long read)

[Soundbwoy]

To be a man is to always be the one to support others around you but when you need support nobody gives a fukk you supposed to work it out no matter what, the black community frown upon therapy, if your shyt aint together nobody is checking out for you or giving you a shot but when you get yourself back on your feet everyone is jocking for your attention so yes you become more aware, you're more careful with new people trying to come around you or those who werent checking for you when you were in a hole

 

[Knuckles Red]

Nail on the head. I grew up largely without my father, and there were hundreds of instances in which i would have liked to have someone listen to what was troubling me. I didnt get that luxury. I had to morph into a psuedo father for my sisters cause they mostly didnt have one, crying was frowned upon, and the common response to whatever bothers me was always "suck it up" or "get some p*ssy."
Thankfully since i had an emotional break 4+ years ago i dont have to feel much of anything anymore, but there was that child me that could only solve so much by burying my head in distractions. Literally nobody wants to hear a black man cry or whine, or even express discomfort( ive always been the more comforting type, but im different) or he loses respect, even from his partner. Lotta brehs act out cause while people pretend they care, and after a certain age, people just dont give a fukk about our feelings.

I agree with OP though. The majority of black males, myself included, are emotionally stunted. I don't think we take our own issues all that seriously because society doesn't take them seriously. Its all very frustrating. Maybe thats another reason a lot of us are so over sexualized...its one of the few arenas where we have power, and gives us a chance to release some small amount of stress. IDK....

 

[Lana del Rey]

i agree with you 100% OP. This was definitely intresting to read.

 

[Action Mike]

Men are naturally emotionally flat, it isn't to say we feel nothing but that ain't the final solution to 'bitterness' bearing our souls.

We aren't equal but are meant to compliment each others strengths and weaknesses, because saying so just brings about confusion as we cant really live each others pov. My point being great men bring up men, great women bring up women. Issue is as you brought up, there more outlets for women than men.

Got to continue building ourselves as well as those around us so our environment isn't so toxic to bring about bitterness in the first place, and on the relationship spectrum nothing is new under the sun, all cultures and people go through the same male/female shyt. It isn't unique, just a toxic environment makes it worse.

 

[Soon]

No, not at all. Not everyone can help dysfunctional people. Most of the times they have to help themselves. The point Im making is having an understanding and not just dismissing them.

I feel our community has done the group hug thing long enough.

And people do understand dysfunctional people and they also do love them, that's why they tolerate them and even seek them out in some cases. So, our community is not known for dismissing them. In some circles dysfunction is a status symbol.

Its great you had your epiphany, but what you discovered is far from being a best kept secret.

I hope it makes you more aware of dysfunction people and how to avoid them when it comes to love and romance. You will be much happier.

Don't fall into the viscous cycle of those women with a heart of gold that tries to save that born loser. I hope you not setting yourself up for failure.

 

[Prynce]

 

[GodinDaFlesh]

 

[Elle Driver]

I hate the whole division, because reading books about how we were treated in the American south during slavery and post slavery Jim crow even now, its like why is this even a problem. Yeah I saw dysfunction growing up, but black love was very real. How else are we the most resilient people ever?

But yeah we definitely need supports. Working as a social worker/therapist/counselor really opened my eyes.

 

[CinnaSlim]

I feel our community has done the group hug thing long enough.

And people do understand dysfunctional people and they also do love them, that's why they tolerate them and even seek them out in some cases. So, our community is not known for dismissing them. In some circles dysfunction is a status symbol.

Its great you had your epiphany, but what you discovered is far from being a best kept secret.

I hope it makes you more aware of dysfunction people and how to avoid them when it comes to love and romance. You will be much happier.

Don't fall into the viscous cycle of those women with a heart of gold that tries to save that born loser. I hope you not setting yourself up for failure.

You don't have to worry about me. I doubt you understand my point. But it's ok.

 

[Knuckles Red]

I hate the whole division, because reading books about how we were treated in the American south during slavery and post slavery Jim crow even now, its like why is this even a problem. Yeah I saw dysfunction growing up, but black love was very real. How else are we the most resilient people ever?

But yeah we definitely need supports. Working as a social worker/therapist/counselor really opened my eyes.

Whats ironic is that it was the racist whites who created an environment where us sticking together was inevitable, and then the liberal whites (who were suppose to be on our side) are who really tore us apart through their organizations, policies, and laws.

 

[BruhManFromTheFifthFlo]

Oh shyt. It's about to be a bunch of Drake ass nikkas in here on some type shyt.

nikkas about to hold hands and sing in this bytch

 

[DarkHorse23]

The brothers and sisters who are "Bitter" are actually "Bitter" at the present condition we've been put in....It will look from the outside like Black men and women hate each other, but its really those lashing out an invisible enemy they really wish to attack.

People break up,argue,are emotional towards each other all the time.

I always reference an example that I always come across all the time. If you notice Black men and women who even venture to jump ship to the enemy, you will always find their natural magnetism will be to their own, I've seen it countless times, where they just can't get enough of black men or black women no matter what.

Love for your own other half can't be replaced. This is how I know people are only bitter at what has happened and not the other half.....

You're describing me to the letter. That's mainly where my bitterness and chip comes from. Wanting to be accepted by my own and never feeling that I was. It's hard to see myself letting that go even when success comes my way

 

[Soon]

I hate the whole division, because reading books about how we were treated in the American south during slavery and post slavery Jim crow even now, its like why is this even a problem. Yeah I saw dysfunction growing up, but black love was very real. How else are we the most resilient people ever?

But yeah we definitely need supports. Working as a social worker/therapist/counselor really opened my eyes.

Broken homes are the root of most of these kids behavioral problems.

Most of these dysfunctional folks do not come from a stable family background.

 

[The Maverick]

One question everyone should ask themselves; when last have you seen a black man cry?

 

[Kobe24]

Having to be strong all the time makes a man weary and cold

Bro you on the homosexual side of things so IDK why you made this comment. Your comment is true but it doesn't pertain to you personally.