As Millennials Near 40, They’re Approaching Family Life Differently Than Previous Generations

[Wild self]

Cost of Living is too high. The highest itd ever been historically. That in itself would make people forego having families and kids.

America gonna be another Japan in another decade or so.

 

[ogc163]

Sure, but that shouldn't be a requirement for prospering in the US.

We have to acknowledge and play certain games in life as best as we can, that doesn't mean we have to fully agree with the game's underlying values or we have to be nihilistic regarding changing the game. In regards to the quality of life and economic security game, marriage is, in general, more beneficial than being single. The moral questions underlying that are not that interesting to me, as I'm more concerned with practical solutions first and foremost. And so, Black people are better off acknowledging that the low marriage rates are a problem that we have a relatively high degree of agency in fixing--as opposed to several other issues plaguing the community where individual agency to change outcomes isn't high--and changing the dominant narratives when it comes to marriage.

Historically, beating black people up about marriage is kind of silly considering that even when married generations of black people got screwed no matter what.

There is a myriad of issues facing the Black community, and they often interact with each other, this is to be expected since life is a complex adaptive system, and so fixing one major issue doesn't necessarily fix the other issues but it may help undermine their negative impact.

When black people separate or divorce, you're doubly punishing them economically and then psychologically. That's fukked up.

I continue to hear this argument about separation or divorce potentially punishing Black people economically, but given what we know about Black income, wealth, debt, and quality of life I am struggling to understand how being single is generally less risky than marriage from a long term perspective. The theoretical arguments put forward in this thread and TLR are not very persuasive, and given what I know about modern divorce law there is a discrepancy between the narratives, theories, and potential downside risks presented on this site and the current state of divorce law.

But I am more than open to seeing evidence that potential divorce and separation and the supposed economic downside risk attached is a prevalent problem in Black marriages--articles and stories showcasing Black celebrities getting taking to the cleaners is not relevant to a community where in NYC the average Black college educated worker makes 42k--.

 

[Serious]

 

[God Almighty]

America gonna be another Japan in another decade or so.

But without the high speed rail, cleanliness, politeness, or panty vending machines.

 

[Deflatedhoopdreams]

Things rings even more true for the lower class. The difference between an eviction or living on the wrong side of town or ability to live with one other person as opposed to four is a second job. Your hours got cut, well at least there is someone else working in your house or that you can turn to for support. A lot of working class people elevated, or stabilized, their situation in the past simply by getting married.

There is absolutely no socioeconomic class of people, except maybe millionaires who marry down (IG models) who aren’t better off by having a partnership with another employed person.

even the couple working at Walmart who still has to live together at one of their parent’s house, together, at least they might be able to afford a reliable car to get to work as opposed to having to take the bus or driving a beater as a single person...partnering works

that’s all true but it’s goes something like this....


The decline in opportunities for men has made working-class men less likely to marry. A study by MIT poverty researcher David Autor showed that when manufacturing work becomes less available, the proportion of men who get married in an affected community declines. Average male wages have declined since 1990 in real terms. A Pew research study showed that many men are foregoing or delaying marriage because they do not feel financially secure. The same study said that, for women, having a steady job was the single biggest factor they were looking
for in a spouse.
Getting married is an act of optimism, stability, and prosperity. It also can be
expensive. If you don’t have a stable job all of the above becomes more difficult.

 

[Deflatedhoopdreams]

There are a host of reasons for the decline of marriage. Some cite increased labor force participation and more options for women, who are now less reliant on men. Others discuss it in light of shifting cultural norms. However, the reduction in opportunities for working-class men is doubtless contributing to fewer people getting married. The problems among men have been well documented. An Atlantic article in 2016 called “The Missing Men” noted that one in six men in America of prime age (25–54) are either unemployed or out of the workforce—10 million men in total.

What are these men missing from the workforce doing all day? They tend to play a lot of video games. Young men without college degrees have replaced 75 percent of the time they used to spend working with time on the computer, mostly playing video games, according to a recent study based on the Census Bureau’s time-use surveys.

Women are now the clear majority of college graduates—in 2017 women comprise 57 percent of college graduates, and the trend is expected to continue in the coming years. By the time you read this, nearly three women will graduate from college for every two men. Women also go on to get a majority of master’s and other graduate degrees. This is an international phenomenon: women are the majority of college graduates in most developed countries.

Fewer men in the workforce means fewer men who are considered marriageable. A working-class woman asked about marriage by journalist Alana Semuels said, “I haven’t run into someone I’d consider doing that with.” For women who don’t have college educations, their male counterparts can’t find jobs and don’t seem like stable partners.

Lower rates of marriage mean that the proportion of children raised by a single parent is rising dramatically; though fertility is declining, people don’t stop having children just because they don’t get married. The share of children born to unmarried mothers more than doubled between 1980 and 2015, from 18 to 40 percent

 

[Serious]

A good reason for the decline in marriage is partially because women are more mobile, educated will accept less garbage behavior.


I think in the past a lot of people married, shacked up and stayed together past a relationship expiration date due to survival and limited economic options.

Now women have more economic mobility and will put with less garbage behavior. I work with seniors and I’ve legit heard some of the grievances from older women regarding their frustrations with their spouses.

I’ve come across a couple instances during the pandemic where women in their late 60’s had decided that they had enough, so they moved out and wanted to move on with their life. One woman mentioned it, as the most empowering thing she’s ever done.

She was like the kids are gone and she had already put with enough.


I think a major problem with courtship in general, especially regarding African Americans is that not every one is necessarily on the same page or forward thinking about the future.


Like can you really imagine yourself with someone for 40+ years. That’s a big commitment to make even when you’re young(under 35). What I like in a woman or partner is different than what I liked when I was like 18-21.

 

[Kenny West]

A good reason for the decline in marriage is partially because women are more mobile, educated will accept less garbage behavior.


I think in the past a lot of people married, shacked up and stayed together past a relationship expiration date due to survival and limited economic options.

Now women have more economic mobility and will put with less garbage behavior. I work with seniors and I’ve legit heard some of the grievances from older women regarding their frustrations with their spouses.

I’ve come across a couple instances during the pandemic where women in their late 60’s had decided that they had enough, so they moved out and wanted to move on with their life. One woman mentioned it, as the most empowering thing she’s ever done.

She was like the kids are gone and she had already put with enough.


I think a major problem with courtship in general, especially regarding African Americans is that not every one is necessarily on the same page or forward thinking about the future.


Like can you really imagine yourself with someone for 40+ years. That’s a big commitment to make even when you’re young(under 35). What I like in a woman or partner is different than what I liked when I was like 18-21.

do you know many women?

Women are marrying less because men are propsing less and thats because culturally men have woken up to how disadvantageous the current marriage system is and how it contradicts the modern culture.

We never make good ground in these conversations because people are more dedicated to pandering.

Hard truth: America is trending more toward the opinions expressed in TLR than the bullshyt yall reading in huff post and Jezebel

 

[BillBanneker]

that’s all true but it’s goes something like this....


The decline in opportunities for men has made working-class men less likely to marry. A study by MIT poverty researcher David Autor showed that when manufacturing work becomes less available, the proportion of men who get married in an affected community declines. Average male wages have declined since 1990 in real terms. A Pew research study showed that many men are foregoing or delaying marriage because they do not feel financially secure. The same study said that, for women, having a steady job was the single biggest factor they were looking
for in a spouse.
Getting married is an act of optimism, stability, and prosperity. It also can be
expensive. If you don’t have a stable job all of the above becomes more difficult.

Also, for men, if you're getting married, you generally want to maximize your chances of getting a higher value women. Which for most broke men, is less likely.


As far as black people getting married, I don't think it's as simplistic for most people as far as potential benefits/costs go. It is a big lifestyle switch legally and financially, but I will admit I know a good number of folks that shack up and have kids without signing them papers and I'm like breh, y'all might as well

 

[Kenny West]

Also, for men, if you're getting married, you generally want to maximize your chances of getting a higher value women. Which for most broke men, is less likely.


As far as black people getting married, I don't think it's as simplistic for most people as far as potential benefits/costs go. It is a big lifestyle switch legally and financially, but I will admit I know a good number of folks that shack up and have kids without signing them papers and I'm like breh, y'all might as well

Im shacking up rn

My girl knows im #GMB

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Let me get this straight if you wanna marry the average woman in 2020-21 : She can't cook,clean,weighs just as much as a man,has no range of conversation,selfish,bad credit,daddy issues,ex issues,soul ties,crazy,takes medication for depression,insecure,low self esteem ,bad credit,heavy influenced by thots on tv (Kardashian) and don't let her be a single mother. So why would any man take on a human developmental project for next 40-50. ?Here is kicker all those traits I listed doesn't include her family hating your guts as a black man if you choose to marry out. So what is benefits of marriage???Get ya Derek Jeter on and only money u should spend is on ya self.

 

[Mowgli]

simps beget simps beget simps

Pandemic of simping in this new gen

Real men gonna find a real woman though

Men who don't embrace a woman as defined by scripture will be destroyed

 

[JBoy]

women don't marry as much in our generation because they frequently don't feel like they have to and with the increase of women in high paying or at least living wage jobs they feel less pressured monetarily to marry as a necessity and marry more because they want to
a lot of them have the bag and don't need your money (though they will happily take it of course)

 

[ogc163]

women don't marry as much in our generation because they frequently don't feel like they have to and with the increase of women in high paying or at least living wage jobs they feel less pressured monetarily to marry as a necessity and marry more because they want to
a lot of them have the bag and don't need your money (though they will happily take it of course)

But in the Black community our college educated millennials don't make enough income or have enough wealth to justify going at it alone. And the group where this line of argument would make the most sense--college educated white women--still get married at decent rates.

 

[JBoy]

But in the Black community our college educated millennials don't make enough income or have enough wealth to justify going at it alone. And the group where this line of argument would make the most sense--college educated white women--still get married at decent rates.

When you don’t grow up in a household with 2 married parents you are unlikely to see the benefits of being in a long term marriage people’s home environment as a kid strongly influences their future biases.