As Millennials Near 40, They’re Approaching Family Life Differently Than Previous Generations

[analog]

I'm 35, I was never very interested in family, marriage, children, relationships, but being a millennial, from my background, a family would have essentially just insured poverty, assuming I married in my early 20's, from someone from a similar background.

I might be the Bizarro version of you

I'm 35, and always had a goal of family, marriage, children. So much so I got married in my early twenties to a girl with the same background. Child came shortly thereafter.

Ironically, assuming the responsibility of keeping a roof over my new family's head and putting food on the table forced me to focus solely on their well being while grinding harder than I ever would've if it was just me. As a result, I've been very fortunate financially. I ain't rich by any means, but we are very comfortable.

 

[Dave24]

I might be the Bizarro version of you

I'm 35, and always had a goal of family, marriage, children. So much so I got married in my early twenties to a girl with the same background. Child came shortly thereafter.

Ironically, assuming the responsibility of keeping a roof over my new family's head and putting food on the table forced me to focus solely on their well being while grinding harder than I ever would've if it was just me. As a result, I've been very fortunate financially. I ain't rich by any means, but we are very comfortable.

What job/career do you have?

 

[Serious]

This is some crazy data

 

[Serious]

Turned 39 two weeks ago and just had my first child this past Monday. My parents were 19 and 20 when they had me.

I feel like it’s so much more money and shyt I gotta secure before I even consider kids or a wife. I mean doing great right now, but kids, a wife, a house, that shyt ain’t cheap.


Heck dates eat into my profit / savings.


Don’t get me started on retirement.

 

[analog]

What job/career do you have?

I'm in IT

 

[THE MACHINE]

My parents were 18 and 16 when they had my oldest sister.

I had my 1st child at 27 and 2nd at 30. I cant imagine starting a family as a teenager. Salute all those super young parents man, I know it has to be a struggle

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

Y’all a talking about needing to stack paper before marriage do know couples are better off than single people? I don’t get why you can’t stack and be married to someone doing the same. In no world is two incomes worse than one. We won’t even get into the tax advantages of marriage and household buying power

 

[ogc163]

Y’all a talking about needing to stack paper before marriage do know couples are better off than single people? I don’t get why you can stack and be married to someone doing the same. In no world is two incomes worse than one. We won’t even get into the tax advantages of marriage and household buying power

Yeah the economic downside risks cats associate with marriage is weird to me. It's arguably the only part of the American Dream narrative that actually holds up well when you look at it from both a subjective romantic perspective and an objective economic perspective.

 

[THE MACHINE]

Y’all a talking about needing to stack paper before marriage do know couples are better off than single people? I don’t get why you can stack and be married to someone doing the same. In no world is two incomes worse than one. We won’t even get into the tax advantages of marriage and household buying power

I think slowly more an more men and women are beginning to value assets over love/companionship. Its always been that way while people were in their 20s but now it seems to be creeping through the 30s and 40s. Even in a lot of marriages people are keeping money separate, its nonsense but you hear people all the time saying "You pay for that" or "Nah, you cant use my money for that" etc.

Men and women can get a lifetime of adoration on their social media pages. Its not real love, at all, but that thought of something new being right there is hard to remove from couples once there is an argument. "Why patch things up with my girl when the thotties are right in my palm" or "Im getting hundreds of likes on my pictures and my man wont even give me a compliment today, of course we aint about to talk and have sex" and finally "I have my own money and I look good, why am I putting up with this nonsense"

Men have always realized getting money gets you more women, but now more men are executing the strategy and the women are having to wait longer for men to want to settle down.

 

[88m3]

Get Money Brehs

 

[Scottie Drippin]

Y’all a talking about needing to stack paper before marriage do know couples are better off than single people? I don’t get why you can’t stack and be married to someone doing the same. In no world is two incomes worse than one. We won’t even get into the tax advantages of marriage and household buying power

That's an idyllic way of looking at it. For most people, all their expenditures would increase in a relationship/marriage.

If people are really set in marrying, they're not just looking for a union, but also for the quality of life that goes hand in hand with marriage. Home ownership, having nicer things, general nicer quality of living etc.

And that's why, to go with your earlier point about Zoomers marrying more....I couldn't disagree more.

Marriage rates have been getting lower generation after generation, and the world isn't getting any better for zoomers, it's getting considerably worse.

All the security issues millennials are having zoomers are dealing with and then some.

And divorce rates continue to climb. Marriage is a financial responsibility a lot of people just can't fathom taking on.

Marriage has become a class issue.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

I think slowly more an more men and women are beginning to value assets over love/companionship. Its always been that way while people were in their 20s but now it seems to be creeping through the 30s and 40s. Even in a lot of marriages people are keeping money separate, its nonsense but you hear people all the time saying "You pay for that" or "Nah, you cant use my money for that" etc.

Men and women can get a lifetime of adoration on their social media pages. Its not real love, at all, but that thought of something new being right there is hard to remove from couples once there is an argument. "Why patch things up with my girl when the thotties are right in my palm" or "Im getting hundreds of likes on my pictures and my man wont even give me a compliment today, of course we aint about to talk and have sex" and finally "I have my own money and I look good, why am I putting up with this nonsense"

Men have always realized getting money gets you more women, but now more men are executing the strategy and the women are having to wait longer for men to want to settle down.

That still doesn’t make sense to me given you have more money and ability to acquire assets in a two income household. I’ll be quite honest, I’ve never been the marriage is about love and happily ever after type, I see it as a second income, way to extend my buying power, and someone to die with that love shyt will leave you disappointed

*yes, admittedly jaded and over nikkas*

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

That's an idyllic way of looking at it. For most people, all their expenditures would increase in a relationship/marriage.

If people are really set in marrying, they're not just looking for a union, but also for the quality of life that goes hand in hand with marriage. Home ownership, having nicer things, general nicer quality of living etc.

Bruh, you can’t even buy a home in most parts of the Bay Area as a single person making $150k - that’s a problem. Rents are 3000/month for a 1bd - again, in what world is partnering with someone increasing those costs or putting you further away from attaining various material things? Like I know plenty couples where they have a daily economy whip and nicer luxury whip for the household, most single people are stuck settling for the economy whip because it’s cheaper, better on fuel and more pragmatic. Then we won’t get into shyt like a home sale where married couples can deduct 500k from their proceeds to lower the amount that can be taxed as opposed to a single person who can only deduct 250k. Like this shyt gets even deeper than those examples, people are playing themselves or making excuses for other reasons they’re not pursuing marriage if money/income/assets is their excuse.

 

[Scottie Drippin]

Bruh, you can’t even buy a home in most parts of the Bay Area as a single person making $150k - that’s a problem. Rents are 3000/month for a 1bd - again, in what world is partnering with someone increasing those costs or putting you further away from attaining various material things? Like I know plenty couples where they have a daily economy whip and nicer luxury whip for the household, most single people are stuck settling for the economy whip because it’s cheaper, better on fuel and more pragmatic. Then we won’t get into shyt like a home sale where married couples can deduct 500k from their proceeds to lower the amount that can be taxed as opposed to a single person who can only deduct 250k. Like this shyt gets even deeper than those examples, people are playing themselves or making excuses for other reasons they’re not pursuing marriage if money/income/assets is their excuse.

You're talking about the Bay Area. You realize to most of the US the Bay Area might as well be Never Never Land?

I added it on as an edit, but marriage has become a class issue, and all your points are wonderful for a high earning class.

But that's a growing minority in the US.

Most people are entering a workforce with shrinking opportunities and no skills. Those benefits you're talking about may as well be Dutch. The people in the places you're talking about, who can benefit from the things you're talking about are getting married.

It's the majority, everyone else, who just can't afford it.

They're not buying houses by themselves family. They're not buying houses, period.

I'm not talking about people with assets protecting them.

I'm talking about the fact that people in the United States don't have shyt to protect, and even fewer will next year.

 

[ogc163]

Black men, even college educated Black men with "good jobs" in Tier 1 cities generally don't make enough per year to justify the scaredy cat "economics" rationale jokers are putting forward and what I often see being put forward in TLR.

Divorce law as it is currently set up in most places doesn't justify the fear.