Arranged marriages?

[ALonelyDad]

You sound like you don't want to get married but are only doing it because of family. I would talk to your parents and tell them how you really feel. Arranged marriage can work out or it can be a total disaster. Like someone said in this thread, you should ask your parents to find you matches and get to know that person and see who connects with you the most.

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

Divorce rates are not linked to marriages being arranged. It's more of a case that cultures that favour arranged marriage are usually very much against divorce. So being happy or not in a marriage is not a factor, you just are. It's how things are.

In a society where individual desires are a key driver divorce is more likely whatever your initial reason for getting married.

If you want an arranged marriage because you don't want to go through the process of choosing someone yourself then so be it. But don't go in thinking it's a foolproof plan to happily ever after. There are no guarantees.

That said I wouldn't be opposed to an arranged marriage. It seems cleaner.

 

[Giselle]

My daughter is already set to marry my homeboy's son. They have no choice

Real talk me and my best friend made this pact YEARS ago. When I have a son he's marries my homeboys daughter or vice versa...


It Was Written

LOL You can't force your kids to be with someone.

We both have kids the same age. He already has a huge crush on my daughter too. But yeah they have no choice

LOL, gosh are you serious? I thought you were kinda joking.

I'm pretty sure it's the latter

But I have contemplated the former. Even questioned if I were pansexual but I'm sure I'm hetero for the most part.

Do you have any male friends?

Maybe thinking of dates as hanging out with a male friend would help you be more comfortable. & go on activity dates for the first few dates instead of lunch/dinner dates. Like bowling or something. Maybe that could help.

I think your parents could help you meet people.

Maybe you should start dating ugly guys first. Use them as dating practice, then work your way up to more attractive guys.

 

[Ziggiy]

LOL You can't force your kids to be with someone..

It's happening plaiboi

 

[BmoreGorilla]

LOL You can't force your kids to be with someone.




LOL, gosh are you serious? I thought you were kinda joking.
.

They've already been told

He already looks at my daughter as a girlfriend so now I just need to get her in line

 

[Giselle]

They've already been told

He already looks at my daughter as a girlfriend so now I just need to get her in line

If they spend a lot of time together, they might feel like family instead.

How old are they?

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

They've already been told

He already looks at my daughter as a girlfriend so now I just need to get her in line

It's happening plaiboi

Y'all two are hilarious!!!! Y'all are too young to be actin like stubborn old men!!!



It's good to see fathers take their rightful place in their children's lives.

 

[BmoreGorilla]

If they spend a lot of time together, they might feel like faminly instead.

How old are they?

She'll be 7 tomorrow and hes about to turn 6

 

[Slaimon Khan Shah]

I was warming up to this idea for a whole year, my bff told me about it and she said they tend to work more than most marriages. Then last weekend this chick turned around and told me that it wouldn't work for me, it can only work for Asian cultures. I'm not sure what she meant by that...

I think this is the best option for me because I'm not proactive when it comes to dating and if I had a choice I'd be forever alone but I think it's my duty and obligation to get married and eventually have children.

My parents would, of course, be the match makers. They have a good eye for good people and I'm not picky anyway.

But what are your thoughts (I'm asking the females of the coli) on the idea of an Arranged Marriage for a black person in this generation? Is it a dumb idea or a necessary one for those who don't know how to make decisions in dating?

I haven't talked to my mom about this yet, she seems eager for me to date but I don't think I'm the dating type. Then there's my dad who tends to talk about guns when we talk about the opposite sex. If I do decide to go through with it, I'm looking to have an arrangement by the age of 27.

Just make sure they are a Good, Righteous, person that helps you in life rather than harms you. No forced marriage either.

 

[EARFQUAKE]

Nevermind.

I talked to my mother about it yesterday and she hurried up and said no.

 

[MsReal]

I was warming up to this idea for a whole year, my bff told me about it and she said they tend to work more than most marriages. Then last weekend this chick turned around and told me that it wouldn't work for me, it can only work for Asian cultures. I'm not sure what she meant by that...

I think this is the best option for me because I'm not proactive when it comes to dating and if I had a choice I'd be forever alone but I think it's my duty and obligation to get married and eventually have children.

My parents would, of course, be the match makers. They have a good eye for good people and I'm not picky anyway.

But what are your thoughts (I'm asking the females of the coli) on the idea of an Arranged Marriage for a black person in this generation? Is it a dumb idea or a necessary one for those who don't know how to make decisions in dating?

I haven't talked to my mom about this yet, she seems eager for me to date but I don't think I'm the dating type. Then there's my dad who tends to talk about guns when we talk about the opposite sex. If I do decide to go through with it, I'm looking to have an arrangement by the age of 27.

I've grown up around Asian and middle eastern people who have had arranged marriages (in the uk). Now to be honest these are introductions, not arranged marriages. Many of my friends are happily married after an introduction to someone in the right culture, social standing and personality.

What really helps these marriages is the support of both extended families. I've seen one or two which didn't work but that was because the husband was violent/ abusive etc.

I think an introduction would be an excellent idea, it all depends on your families social networks as to if it will work.

 

[MsReal]

No I have other siblings, my oldest brother is married so my parents have one grandchild so far.

We're very family oriented so their desires for me to be successful and get married is essentially mine as well, I just suck and can't function properly to do it on my own



I thought about that too but I have a bad habit of rejecting people, even the ones I like.

The right person will cross your path @Slaimon Khan Shah is right, but also Kindness and compassion in a life partner is key,

Don't stress too much about it x

 

[Bugatti Biceps]

An arranged marriage without the cultural and upbringing that comes from a society that engages in arranged marriages is doomed to fail.

 

[Poitier]

I would wife OP btw but I'm a demon lol

 

[assortedarabiancrackers]

Arranged marriages are more common in my country. I think it works more than "zomg we love echother 4ever" style based marriages cuz that's usually stupid lazy young people in lust or people who waited too long to start a family.
Besides with arranged marriages there is more of a work and family factor put into it, love is developed lastly and grown from each others loyalty and productivity.

Remember I'm just speaking generally.