Anybody Else Feel Dead Inside?

[NotAnFBIagent]

Too often

 

[Rozay Oro]

@The Coolest Negro
Breh despite nikkas coming into hate, better to continue to vent somewhere anonymously then just the hotline nikka.

First of all you recognizing that your struggle is irrational and having the love for your household anchoring you is good.

Tell us more about this job you hate
I recommend you try to get more sunlight when possible, natural vitamin D is very good for us.

Please exchange alcohol (a depressant) and porn with a 24 hour gym membership. Even buy you some fairly cheap at home gym equipment like a twister bar and/or chest expander when you can’t go to the gym. (Don’t skip leg day though)

You will get in shape overtime but right now just the endorphins is good enough.

You say you have entrepreneurial aspirations, what are they breh?

I recommend the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy course in the Wondrium app

 

[MrSpook]

They seriously need to ban all ya'll new depressed, suicidal muthafukkas from off this site.

Ya'll waited ALL this time to be able to post on here, just to come on this bytch crying about your fukking life....There's specific forums for this kind of shyt, but you nikkas want the "it's gone be alright breh hang in there" love...

This shyt mad corny..I'm sorry...

Some people are truly living life and going through it. Wouldn’t you prefer someone come here to get things off their chest and seek advice/help here and there rather than us getting a RIP thread and details about this man suiciding and possibly snapping, taking the kids with him ?

Y’all be insensitive asf on here man Lmaoo.

 

[moorfeus]

HELL NO!!! Cannot relate at all. And you have a wife and children too? No sympathy for you at all. You need to get up off of thecoli.com and go get some serious help. Why would you come on here looking for people to relate to what you claim to be going through? Seek psychiatric help instead of drinking and jacking off.

 

[MrSpook]

Stay prayed up G, learn to appreciate the little things and blessings that you have. Workout instead of watching porn and look to do things that’ll grant you a more positive release. Seem like you got a lot of underline things that need to be let go. Rage isn’t the way but sometimes that’s what it takes, your local gym or just when you can afford to be alone in your car, cry or flash out. Vent to yourself, have those talks with yourself and try coming to an understanding with yourself.

Level up too. Wifey? Kids? Don’t let that settle you into a role. It’s always room to grow, boss up and take things to the next level. Start using that job and look for ways to get a little side gig going , something that’ll bring extra money. Good extra money.

Don’t get complacent G. Don’t accept roles you think you have too and keep yourself and your health high on the totem pole. Blessings to ya and you’ll be in my prayers.

 

[Arcavian]

Tired of this weak ass shyt everywhere

 

[Kaypain]

Yeah every day. Until I come home and my daughter runs up to hug me. Gives me a little spark of life and then I wake up the next day back to it

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Nope...my life is cool

 

[360dagod]

Fam you might be a sexually "fluid" brother that's fighting demons...

I've read everything and that porn shyt is SUSPECT

If you watching a bunch of sloppy fat bytches fukk, at least their women

If you watching Segregated but Integrated with 10 penises in one white bytch, you might need to have that tony soprano sit down and figure this shyt out..

Hope 4 the best

 

[The Realist Perspective]

Stay up breh. If you wanna talk hit me up in the PM.

 

[Sad Bunny]

Can you go back to school to get a career you’ll enjoy?

 

[Sad Bunny]

Rant incoming.

Mental exhaustion. We are really struggling out here. Life is far too short man. Having to work a job I absolutely hate in order to provide even though you know deep down there's more to your brief existence than this. You just struggle trying to juggle your responsibilities and your ambitions.

I had a dark moment back in April. My emotions began to eat away at me. I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing. I got up out of bed around 3 am, kissed my wife and kids as they slept and left. I drove to a park with thoughts of killing myself. Suicide is something I've always thought about but never had the courage to follow through. But this night was different. I felt no fear or emotion. I felt empty. Like I didn't care anymore. Trying to stay sane, I actually called the suicide hotline and when the guy answered, I couldn't even speak. He just opened up and said, "what's going on, friend?" and I just broke down.

We talked for about 40 minutes and I was reminded of my children. My 2 boys and how they need their father. I thought about my fatherless upbringing and how much it hurt not having him around. I could never abandon my wife & kids. Not like that. I returned home and continued my mundane existence, only finding fleeting moments of joy through my family. I'm forever fortunate for my children and wife. I love them so much. My wife doesn't know about that night and she never will.

I talk to her about my feelings all the time. Well, I used to. My feelings are difficult to comprehend and I saw that it was weighing on her because there was nothing she could do to help. She wants to solve all of my problems. But she cannot and it hurts her. So I no longer burden her with these things. I suffer in silence as a man in my position should do. I never want my wife to see me vulnerable like that. She depends on me to be strong and present and I will be that for her even if on the inside, I'm crumbling.

These days, I drown my sorrows in aimless pursuits of pleasure. Porn, masturbation, occasional alcohol. A man has to cope somehow. I have to be stimulated somehow. Addictions are tough but they actually work in my favor as the release of dopamine soothes me and keeps me going. That euphoric feeling eases the pain but never long enough so I'm always seeking that feeling. I'm always seeking stonger releases. Basic porn just doesnt cut it anymore, so I seek out the the more vile and venomous parts of human sexuality that keep me satiated. I disgust myself sometimes, but I can't help who I am at this point. (no, not anything illegal nikka)

I'm so tired of living like this but I'm making due as best I can. I'm trying to find better ways of coping. Believe it or not, expressing myself on here helps. Even though I know nikkas will poke fun and criticize my "dear diary dissertations". It's all good.

WTF.

Gym
Exercise
Eat heslthy

You need a hobby bro

 

[King Poetic]

I’m just burned out mentally and physically right now

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

@The Coolest Negro

First of all bro, I'm so happy you made that call to the hotline. I've never thought much of them but I'm glad that there was someone that could help you make sense of all of this in that moment.

I totally feel you on not wanting to weigh wifey down with burdens. Thats what I was always taught too. When we have real issues and problems that are eating at us, never put that on wifey because if we can't handle it, then she definitely can't. And all you're doing is making her feel unsafe and unsettled because it tells her that you're lost. And she is depending on you.

It's always good to go to the men in your life and talk with them about things like this, because men can take it and we can understand where you're coming from and help you to find an answer. Are you open to talking on the phone? If so, ill send you my number.

 

[King Ming]

Rant incoming.

Mental exhaustion. We are really struggling out here. Life is far too short man. Having to work a job I absolutely hate in order to provide even though you know deep down there's more to your brief existence than this. You just struggle trying to juggle your responsibilities and your ambitions.

I had a dark moment back in April. My emotions began to eat away at me. I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing. I got up out of bed around 3 am, kissed my wife and kids as they slept and left. I drove to a park with thoughts of killing myself. Suicide is something I've always thought about but never had the courage to follow through. But this night was different. I felt no fear or emotion. I felt empty. Like I didn't care anymore. Trying to stay sane, I actually called the suicide hotline and when the guy answered, I couldn't even speak. He just opened up and said, "what's going on, friend?" and I just broke down.

We talked for about 40 minutes and I was reminded of my children. My 2 boys and how they need their father. I thought about my fatherless upbringing and how much it hurt not having him around. I could never abandon my wife & kids. Not like that. I returned home and continued my mundane existence, only finding fleeting moments of joy through my family. I'm forever fortunate for my children and wife. I love them so much. My wife doesn't know about that night and she never will.

I talk to her about my feelings all the time. Well, I used to. My feelings are difficult to comprehend and I saw that it was weighing on her because there was nothing she could do to help. She wants to solve all of my problems. But she cannot and it hurts her. So I no longer burden her with these things. I suffer in silence as a man in my position should do. I never want my wife to see me vulnerable like that. She depends on me to be strong and present and I will be that for her even if on the inside, I'm crumbling.

These days, I drown my sorrows in aimless pursuits of pleasure. Porn, masturbation, occasional alcohol. A man has to cope somehow. I have to be stimulated somehow. Addictions are tough but they actually work in my favor as the release of dopamine soothes me and keeps me going. That euphoric feeling eases the pain but never long enough so I'm always seeking that feeling. I'm always seeking stonger releases. Basic porn just doesnt cut it anymore, so I seek out the the more vile and venomous parts of human sexuality that keep me satiated. I disgust myself sometimes, but I can't help who I am at this point. (no, not anything illegal nikka)

I'm so tired of living like this but I'm making due as best I can. I'm trying to find better ways of coping. Believe it or not, expressing myself on here helps. Even though I know nikkas will poke fun and criticize my "dear diary dissertations". It's all good.

Damn! this a sad read breh... if i may ask, how old are you?

i went through a dark struggles some months back after losing my brother and that shyt hit me really bad, and put a strain on my family... But i had to quickly snap out of it when i thought about my kids/wife family etc.

You need to seek help, new hobbies, go back to studying towards a new career etc. get something new and challenging to give you a new outlook in life

Hang in there, cutdown on the porn and alcohol