Any ladies feel lost in the dating game?

[Ol’Otis]

when I talked about premarital sex

you're a virgin?



bless you

 

[Gold]

The problem is finding guys who are religious and non-virgins. The way things are now, finding men who like either of those is very slim. After a while some women tend to compromise themselves and give in, then end up even more unhappy. Not to mention the guys who don't who say they don't have a problem with it or lie and say they are Christian etc.

I'm a spokesperson for #neverSettle, especially on moralistic views. I just dont see the point of it. I'm not discarding what you're saying though, it is harder. But that's just part of how it is.

For instance: If I wanted to find an Igbo woman from Anambra state who grew up with the same morals as I did, but went to school in America... I would find one regardless of how difficult it is. Because I wouldn't even be looking at anything else.

If you are looking for a strong Christian man who shares your values, anyone outside of that spectrum shouldn't even be considered. Now, people can lie and fake, but when it comes to religion we can spot the fakes pretty easily when we take off the infatuation-tinted glasses.

I'm not saying any shyt you don't know, I'm just reinforcing the status that you're lamenting... which is, "its going to be much more difficult for you to find what you want".

but not impossible

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

@The Wave
Yep it is hard out here. I wonder if it's the same for black Muslim women? At least from the outside looking in it appears that Muslim men don't play games like this with their women. I'm out here near Philadelphia, I should ask lol.
I only say this because I feel that true Christian males are are hard to find. A lot of fake Christians and Christian fornicaters.

 

[Gold]

@The Wave
A lot of fake Christians and Christian fornicaters.

Guilty .

I can recite scriptures better than anyone on this site (I promise), go through the entire Holy Eucharist by memory, recite the 10 Commandments and Nicene Creed, and sing over a 100 Hymns with no Hymnal.... but none of that stopped me from becoming a sex-obsessed turn up specialist when I got to college and lost my virginity.

I honestly don't think Islamic woman would have the same issues... in fact I would go out on a limb and say they would have the opposite issues.

They would probably find less people who fit the criteria, but an overall heightened sense of seriousness from those that do.

Christianity is ingrained in our culture so you have a multitude of people who claim it who have no idea what it even means.

 

[Aceofspades404]

Being a virgin is a huge disadvantage if you're dating non-virgins, no lies told there.

As far as religion... I don't see why anyone who's even the slightest bit religious would consider a serious relationship with a person who doens't hold the same beliefs. That's asking for trouble from the jump

I don't know if you noticed but the majority of religious men aren't that much different from the non religious ones. You have the ones that believe in God but not active with their faith and you have those that are active but don't walk the line. All the people I grew up with in church are or have been sexually active. I don't know one male virgin in real life. Being religious doesn't mean anything these days unfortunately.

 

[Gold]

I don't know if you noticed but the majority of religious men aren't that much different from the non religious ones. You have the ones that believe in God but not active with their faith and you have those that are active but don't walk the line. All the people I grew up with in church are or have been sexually active. I don't know one male virgin in real life. Being religious doesn't mean anything these days unfortunately.

Trust me, i've noticed.

If you only knew my history + my family history

At one time I almost entered seminary if you can believe that

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

Guilty .

I can recite scriptures better than anyone on this site (I promise), go through the entire Holy Eucharist by memory, recite the 10 Commandments and Nicene Creed, and sing over a 100 Hymns with no Hymnal.... but none of that stopped me from becoming a sex-obsessed turn up specialist when I got to college and lost my virginity.

I honestly don't think Islamic woman would have the same issues... in fact I would go out on a limb and say they would have the opposite issues.

They would probably find less people who fit the criteria, but an overall heightened sense of seriousness from those that do.

Christianity is ingrained in our culture so you have a multitude of people who claim it who have no idea what it even means.

That's part of the problem sadly. Everyone and anyone can claim to be Christian. Also, so many have had a negative experience with Christians (probably fake ones or those who don't really adhere to the beliefs) that many young people have turned away from Christianity and God. Some permanently or some temporarily who like to play for years and mess women up along the way.

I feel like Christianity isn't really respected because of this. Like it's seen as a joke or that everyone is a Sunday Christian.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

I don't know if you noticed but the majority of religious men aren't that much different from the non religious ones. You have the ones that believe in God but not active with their faith and you have those that are active but don't walk the line. All the people I grew up with in church are or have been sexually active. I don't know one male virgin in real life. Being religious doesn't mean anything these days unfortunately.

QFT
Which makes it feel like you will never find a Christian guy or guy who's compatible with you.

I'm not a virgin anymore. After I lost it for the wrong reasons, I decided to be celibate. Which brings other issues like guys assuming you were a "reformed ho" and asking you what are you waiting for you already had sex.

But to not make it all about Christianity, it's also just a general issue for many women. It's tough dating these days because of the climate out here. Promiscuity, distrust, not wanting to be played, guys wanting to play around until they're 30 +etc makes it really hard for women out here.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

I used to think the same thing but lately it's been a little different for me. No doubt a lot of games are being played these days and while I think not wanting a bunch of dycks in u is a plus, in our oversexed generation, this is seen as negative.

Which is ridiculous.

What I've found is that women have far more power than they give themselves credit for. Essentially we set the tone for what the relationship will be. But many of us are afraid of that because we don't wish to be left. But once you get past fear of being alone, and stop caring...I can't even describe it. shyt changes completely.

I'm not talking about being rude or bytchy or nasty to men. But just be upfront about ur intentions. Many won't recognize ur value and that's okay. But the ones that do will be worth it.

Also get out of the habit of focusing on one man at a time. Dating for me is just that. Dating. You really don't owe anyone anything until both of u are willing to make a statement to urselves and the world about the seriousness of ur union. Until then, meet and interact with who u like.

 

[Raava]

Yeah I feel exactly what you're saying @Holy Berry and I currently have a boyfriend, but it was hard before and still iffy right now. I definitely agree with the posts made by @Raava, you have to be strong in your beliefs and self. And be real careful, although you'll still make some missteps. I can't tell you how many times I was honest and upfront and darn near blunt about what I was looking for and what I'll accept but the guy was determined. They'll sell you dreams and act right for a bit only to turn around and have their real colors show.

That's the issue I really find hard to navigate, guys who aren't truthful and will play a part until they get what they want or can't take not getting what they want. You'll have respectable guys who realize they aren't compatible with you, after you discuss what you're looking for, and let you be. I appreciate that. On the other hand you'll have snakes who know you're not on the same page, will try to convince you otherwise, and then disaster happens. It's a little easier if you catch it in the beginning but a headache when it's discovered further down the line. One guy I dated was like that to a tee, he was great for the first 6 months but then he started showed his ass. It was really difficult as I had devoted so much time to him that I felt strung along and deceived.

Exactly, that is what made me tired of dating. I was always up front, didn't judge guys and they still tried to play games or sell me dreams. Even when it came to little things gave them outs. A lot of men are so caught up in telling a woman what they think they want to hear. It's disrespectful, I was so tired of dudes just straight up disrespect and insulting to my intelligence. The lies LOL just thinking about it is funny how shocked and appalled I was at the lies guys would tell and a lot of the time for no reason.

That's why on hear when dudes say no women don't want the truth I just smh. We do you just don't want to deal with the consequences of the truth, like me not talking to you anymore coward. Then wonder why women are "crazy" I appreciate a guy who is up front and not about games and wasting each others time.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

Exactly, that is what made me tired of dating. I was always up front, didn't judge guys and they still tried to play games or sell me dreams. Even when it came to little things gave them outs. A lot of men are so caught up in telling a woman what they think they want to hear. It's disrespectful, I was so tired of dudes just straight up disrespect and insulting to my intelligence. The lies LOL just thinking about it is funny how shocked and appalled I was at the lies guys would tell and a lot of the time for no reason.

That's why on hear when dudes say no women don't want the truth I just smh. We do you just don't want to deal with the consequences of the truth, like me not talking to you anymore coward. Then wonder why women are "crazy" I appreciate a guy who is up front and not about games and wasting each others time.

Truth.com especially the bolded! It's not about us not being able to handle the truth, they just don't want to deal with us walking away. They are selfish. They'll tell us anything to get what they want from us, with sex being high on their list of wants. They're also crazy or think we are dumb because what they essentially want is to tell us the truth and have us just accept it and give in. What sense does that make?

 

[Ol’Otis]

Christianity

 

[Elle Driver]

She'll be alright

Yeah but you can get pressured into sex.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

Yeah but you can get pressured into sex.

Yep, happened to me.

 

[Raava]

Truth.com especially the bolded! It's not about us not being able to handle the truth, they just don't want to deal with us walking away. They are selfish. They'll tell us anything to get what they want from us, with sex being high on their list of wants. They're also crazy or think we are dumb because what they essentially want is to tell us the truth and have us just accept it and give in. What sense does that make?

Selfish as hell. My ex was like I was a bad person, selfish and how was I a Christian because I cut him out of my life after treating me like crap basically.

Because they told the truth or finally told the truth we should be like thank you! Here is my vagina!