the next guy
Superstar
http://www.gradientlair.com/post/57366621646/black-men-anti-blackness-dating-preferences
Yesterday on Twitter I was called “one of the most annoying feminists on Twitter,” a “bytch,” an “insecure bytch” as well as “bitter” several times by Black men whose dating “preferences" I decided to challenge. To challenge men is to be called “bytch," or "bitter" if you’re a Black woman; that’s a favorite insult from men, especially from Black men. It was rather ironic too since just yesterday in my essay Pop Culture, Social Justice and Race: When Black People Love Whiteness More Than Fellow Black People, I wrote about Black people who openly spew venom at me in their defense of White stars and anti-Blackness. The mass conversation occurred literally within a couple of hours after my essay was posted.
Many heterosexual Black men are genuinely clueless as to how their dating “preferences” are based on anti-Blackness more than love or interest in anyone not Black, and how this anti-Blackness is shaped intraracially and interracially because of how White supremacy, internalized racism, colourism, Eurocentric beauty myths as standards and misogynoir impact them and are proliferated by them.
White supremacy is the overall culprit. Because Whiteness is set in juxtaposition to Blackness and mixed Black women as well as other women of colour who aren’t Black are placed on a sliding scale of what is considered not only beautiful but worthy in relation to how close to White they appear, can assimilate to be or how far away from Blackness they are, ultimately even when Black men decide that a biracial woman, a fair skinned Asian/Latina woman or even a darker woman of colour yet lighter than dark Black women is “better” than a Black woman, they are engaging in White supremacist logic, which by design is anti-Black.
White supremacy accompanies racism. By continual anti-Blackness propagandist messages (for centuries) being pumped out through media, marketing, art, legislation, and general popular culture, avoiding absorption of these messages is futile. It’s impossible. What is possible is to learn how to recognize, deconstruct, challenge and reject these messages. What is possible is to learn how to create and embrace counter-messages that speak to the wholeness of Black people. But it is a challenge. And many Black men are incredibly unequipped for this. They refuse to challenge hegemonic ideologies designed to infer that Black women are the “worst” women, the “ugliest” women, the “meanest” women and the most “worthless” women. They internalize this racism and since it’s easier to agree with White supremacist power structures that convey these messages—ones they accept as truth—than to challenge White supremacy and give up the myth of assuming patriarchal power as a partner with White men, they rather join in with the world and attack Black women.
Now some will ask how can they think this despite having Black mothers. Easily. Patriarchy is most easily facilitated through rigid binaries. Thus, some create god/devil binaries where their mothers are examples of “exceptional” Black women but any other Black woman is “undesirable,” so Black men are off the hook. But there’s a more complicated side as well. Some of them genuinely hate their mothers while they simultaneously feel guilt about this. They blame their mothers for their Blackness that they subconsciously want to reject. But it’s practically unconscionable to speak against one’s own Black mother, especially as a Black son since preference for sons and protection of sons over daughters is common not just in Black culture but within many races. That’s just a facet of patriarchy. In some cases, the mother who stays is hated over the idealization of the father who left. There’s a conglomerate of negative feelings that they have for their mothers but cannot project them on their mothers without debilitating guilt. Thus, these feelings are projected onto any and all other Black women. It’s not far-fetched that some Black men could feel this way about their mothers. Black motherhood—outside of the loyal mammy figure for White families—is demonized as “emasculating,” welfare-ridden, or hypersexual. To think that all Black men separate negative messages about Black motherhood from Black womanhood itself is to not understand how controlling images work. Many of the characteristics that Black men claim that they hate in Black women are actually ones their mothers have. But they will simultaneously claim that they love their mothers.
Colourism, or “prejudicial or preferential treatment of same-race people based solely on their color” (term coined by Alice Walker) is a facet born out of White supremacy. (I reviewed the recent film Dark Girls that attempted to educate on this topic, albeit problematically.) Whether examining the one drop rule or past terminology such as “mulatto,” “quadroon" and "octoroon,” it can be clearly seen that the proximity to Whiteness within Blackness is deemed as “above” Blackness but still below Whiteness. When Black men decide that a Black woman can’t be “too Black” to be attractive they’re engaging in colourism. They’ve adopted the message of the inferiority of Blackness, which is especially portrayed via music, television, film and advertising/marketing. The sheer unwillingness for Whites (who dominate Hollywood, news media and Madison Avenue etc.) to cast/hire dark Black women for a variety of roles/jobs AND continually cast light or White women in juxtaposition to these roles—and portray them as beautiful, feminine and worthy—reveals the dual edged sword of racism and White supremacy. For Black men to suggest that these messages that they absorb in abundance from birth and in every sphere—just like everyone else does—doesn’t impact them would be comical if it wasn’t tragic....
more at the link
A full explanation on c00nery. @Chris.B
@His_Excellence_Reincar @No_bammer_weed @Malik ya'll will like this, next time one of your friends loves up white girls send them this.
Yesterday on Twitter I was called “one of the most annoying feminists on Twitter,” a “bytch,” an “insecure bytch” as well as “bitter” several times by Black men whose dating “preferences" I decided to challenge. To challenge men is to be called “bytch," or "bitter" if you’re a Black woman; that’s a favorite insult from men, especially from Black men. It was rather ironic too since just yesterday in my essay Pop Culture, Social Justice and Race: When Black People Love Whiteness More Than Fellow Black People, I wrote about Black people who openly spew venom at me in their defense of White stars and anti-Blackness. The mass conversation occurred literally within a couple of hours after my essay was posted.
Many heterosexual Black men are genuinely clueless as to how their dating “preferences” are based on anti-Blackness more than love or interest in anyone not Black, and how this anti-Blackness is shaped intraracially and interracially because of how White supremacy, internalized racism, colourism, Eurocentric beauty myths as standards and misogynoir impact them and are proliferated by them.
White supremacy is the overall culprit. Because Whiteness is set in juxtaposition to Blackness and mixed Black women as well as other women of colour who aren’t Black are placed on a sliding scale of what is considered not only beautiful but worthy in relation to how close to White they appear, can assimilate to be or how far away from Blackness they are, ultimately even when Black men decide that a biracial woman, a fair skinned Asian/Latina woman or even a darker woman of colour yet lighter than dark Black women is “better” than a Black woman, they are engaging in White supremacist logic, which by design is anti-Black.
White supremacy accompanies racism. By continual anti-Blackness propagandist messages (for centuries) being pumped out through media, marketing, art, legislation, and general popular culture, avoiding absorption of these messages is futile. It’s impossible. What is possible is to learn how to recognize, deconstruct, challenge and reject these messages. What is possible is to learn how to create and embrace counter-messages that speak to the wholeness of Black people. But it is a challenge. And many Black men are incredibly unequipped for this. They refuse to challenge hegemonic ideologies designed to infer that Black women are the “worst” women, the “ugliest” women, the “meanest” women and the most “worthless” women. They internalize this racism and since it’s easier to agree with White supremacist power structures that convey these messages—ones they accept as truth—than to challenge White supremacy and give up the myth of assuming patriarchal power as a partner with White men, they rather join in with the world and attack Black women.
Now some will ask how can they think this despite having Black mothers. Easily. Patriarchy is most easily facilitated through rigid binaries. Thus, some create god/devil binaries where their mothers are examples of “exceptional” Black women but any other Black woman is “undesirable,” so Black men are off the hook. But there’s a more complicated side as well. Some of them genuinely hate their mothers while they simultaneously feel guilt about this. They blame their mothers for their Blackness that they subconsciously want to reject. But it’s practically unconscionable to speak against one’s own Black mother, especially as a Black son since preference for sons and protection of sons over daughters is common not just in Black culture but within many races. That’s just a facet of patriarchy. In some cases, the mother who stays is hated over the idealization of the father who left. There’s a conglomerate of negative feelings that they have for their mothers but cannot project them on their mothers without debilitating guilt. Thus, these feelings are projected onto any and all other Black women. It’s not far-fetched that some Black men could feel this way about their mothers. Black motherhood—outside of the loyal mammy figure for White families—is demonized as “emasculating,” welfare-ridden, or hypersexual. To think that all Black men separate negative messages about Black motherhood from Black womanhood itself is to not understand how controlling images work. Many of the characteristics that Black men claim that they hate in Black women are actually ones their mothers have. But they will simultaneously claim that they love their mothers.
Colourism, or “prejudicial or preferential treatment of same-race people based solely on their color” (term coined by Alice Walker) is a facet born out of White supremacy. (I reviewed the recent film Dark Girls that attempted to educate on this topic, albeit problematically.) Whether examining the one drop rule or past terminology such as “mulatto,” “quadroon" and "octoroon,” it can be clearly seen that the proximity to Whiteness within Blackness is deemed as “above” Blackness but still below Whiteness. When Black men decide that a Black woman can’t be “too Black” to be attractive they’re engaging in colourism. They’ve adopted the message of the inferiority of Blackness, which is especially portrayed via music, television, film and advertising/marketing. The sheer unwillingness for Whites (who dominate Hollywood, news media and Madison Avenue etc.) to cast/hire dark Black women for a variety of roles/jobs AND continually cast light or White women in juxtaposition to these roles—and portray them as beautiful, feminine and worthy—reveals the dual edged sword of racism and White supremacy. For Black men to suggest that these messages that they absorb in abundance from birth and in every sphere—just like everyone else does—doesn’t impact them would be comical if it wasn’t tragic....
more at the link
A full explanation on c00nery. @Chris.B
@His_Excellence_Reincar @No_bammer_weed @Malik ya'll will like this, next time one of your friends loves up white girls send them this.
when black people date out it's not uncommon for them to do that just saying.
Melyeah
the fukk you talking about?