I never said I had an issue with Brehs dating mixed women though. I think a lot of y’all just aren’t comprehending my point. I only care about y’all calling them black women, because the need to call them bw, is sometimes motivated by some of yall not wanting to admit that y’all like the look of women who are closer to white. By referring to them as bw, you can still say you date bw, despite the fact that the women arent fully bw.
It’s not something that is said out loud, so I doubt you would hear any Breh admit to it. But I’ve seen many Brehs say they love bw, only to then post zendaya, Jhene aiko types—when in reality those women do not look like black women. it’s a way to skate around the fact that your preference actually isn’t bw like you claim, but more so women who are more ambiguous. Now I’d rather y’all just own up to what you like, and admit that you might find women who look more ambiguous attractive, rather than pretending those women are representive of bw.
the difference is when I’ve dated mixed men, I called them what they are. I call my son’s father mixed. Hell my son used to think his dad was white. Everyone thought it was hilliarious. I’m not going to refer to him as a black man and take away from what actually is representative of a breh, when he isn’t and is only half.
I just want people to keep it real. And real is recognizing that a person who has a nonblack parent is not fully black.
As a bw, I can speak further as to why it’s an issue for bw. We are in a society that is conditioned to put women who are European at the top, and those who are closest to European are generally favored more than those who aren’t. Bw have spoken out about how they’ve seen opportunities meant for black women be given to mixed women, because those mixed women get away with calling themselves black while looking ambiguous and closer to white, which means they gets more privileges and opportunities than a black women with two black parents.
We’ve seen this take place in acting for example—you gave ambiguous mixed women continuing to take roles where they are playing the black mother, girlfriend, daughter etc, instead of actual bw. In other words they get chosen by whites who recognize they are closer to white but aren’t white and therefore can represent bw, despite not being a full bw. That takes away from actual bw.
So the issue with continuing to have this
large umbrella of what can constitute as black, means those who just skate the lines can get the benefits that are meant for full black people. It gives white people the opportunity to pretend as if they’re being inclusive and giving bw a shot by picking women who are actually closer to them…
When we give mixed people their own category, we then give black people a more defined notion of what blackness is, we also get more opportunities and actual (and fair)representation. We are not trying to discount mixed peoples experiences or tell them they can’t claim or talk about their experiences or their blackness. We’re simply saying they have another side too-it makes them unique from us, and we want them to get a unique identity that fully represents both sides of their background.
If we were in a society that did not give advantages and opportunities to people who are closer to white, this wouldn’t be a big deal.. but we aren’t in that society. And I see mixed people as mixed and therefore not representive of me as a blacks person with two black parents.
