30+ Brehs… What’s up with these old chicks wanting babies?

[Shadow King]

When a woman wants to wait until she's stable (which obviously doesn't happen until you're a bit older) and married to have kids she's delusional. When a woman has kids before this, she's reckless and a scourge to the community. When a woman doesn't want kids, she's useless.

Make it make sense.

Don't wait until 29 to stop playing the "women can be players too" game and stop thinking a career is valued by men capable and willing to provide a comfortable lifestyle.

Sense has been made.

 

[Ashley Banks]

Don't wait until 29 to stop playing the "women can be players too" game and stop thinking a career is valued by men capable and willing to provide a comfortable lifestyle.

Sense has been made.

So a woman shouldnt have a dream career because men dont value it? What if she’s always wanted to be a lawyer or a doctor, she shouldn’t do it because men don’t care about it? She should just have kids and forget about it or coli males will judge her?


I’m just trying to understand the issue of woman having a career then having her kids so she can help take care of them financially, don’t y’all hate women that are financially dependent on men? Or is it okay in this thread and a problem in others?

 

[Shadow King]

So a woman shouldnt have a dream career because men dont value it?

You can have it, just understand the sacrifices made for something your potential partner probably doesn't value enough to prioritize while also working on a stricter biological clock.

For your late additional paragraph, men hate those women who are taught to seek 100% financial responsibility from a man but want to split domestic work. Just like we don't care for women who make money but still want us to provide for the household while their money is for discretionary purchases.

We want both gender held to the same traditional standard, or the same modern standard.

 

[Egomaniacal1]

Unless you got married at 25 and had like 1 kid you will still have kids at home around 50.

I know this. I gave an upper age of 35 so that by about 55 you should be done raising and they should be moved out...on to college or military or just their own place.

 

[African Peasant]

It will only happen, if you lower the cost of living. If not, your entire perspective is null.

Make getting money easier, and you will see birthrates increase again.

I'm speaking from an individual perspective. If that's what you want, that's how you should do it.

But from a collective standpoint, I don't think birth rate will rise again. The native population of industrialized country will keep shrinking. It's a feature of capitalism.

 

[African Peasant]

Im a nurse, i don’t need to be taught. I already learned this in semester 3 clinicals and theory and from real life experience. Did plenty of patient education, care plans etc for mother’s that we’re gravida 1 at 35+ Which is why I know exactly what I’m talking about. No one is saying to wait until your 45 to have kids but if you choose to or that’s just how life happened, you shouldn’t be shamed for it. Unless you’re having children with these women, why worry about their choices?

This is a weird question...

I don't need to marry a woman to give her advice or to worry about her...

 

[Ashley Banks]

This is a weird question...

I don't need to marry a woman to give her advice or to worry about her...

You’re worried about her having kids when she’s ready because you think she should have them sooner?

 

[Ashley Banks]

You can have it, just understand the sacrifices made for something your potential partner probably doesn't value enough to prioritize while also working on a stricter biological clock.

You’re going to tell your daughter that she shouldn’t be what she wants to be in life because her potential partner might not value it?

y’all really want women to not want ANYTHING in life but children and a husband. Sad.

FYI a woman can go to school, work, and have children at 30+. Just because she doesn’t have kids when YOU think she should, doesn’t mean she can’t have them. I know PLENTY of women with careers and children and obviously the age of first pregnancy is rising for a reason. smh

 

[Shadow King]

You’re going to tell your daughter that she shouldn’t be what she wants to be in life because her potential partner might not value it?

y’all really want women to not want ANYTHING in life but children and a husband. Sad.

I'm not having daughters, or sons. But I would tell this Earth-2 daughter that if she wants to "have it all", then it's best for her to find the young breh studying law/medicine/banking like she is in her college years and build the way most people in high socioeconomic circles do, you're equally yoked then, you'll be equally yoked by 27/28 when y'all lock it down, and you'll be equally yoked by 30-33 when you choose to actively conceive children, whether or not she re-enters the workforce is on them.

Instead of waiting till she's 32 when her male peers are married at childrearing workshops with the woman who did what I just said, or finally enjoying his status as a high earner bachelor and not moving on her timeline.

We don't want women to only want husbands and children. Y'all just want to be us and be you at the same time in a couple different ways and it often doesn't work as planned. You can have a career, just understand things are not the same for you. There's things that don't fall in men's favor either in this world and it is what it is.

 

[Ashley Banks]

I'm not having daughters, or sons. But I would tell this Earth-2 daughter that if she wants to "have it all", then it's best for her to find the young breh studying law/medicine/banking like she is in her college years and build the way most people in high socioeconomic circles do, you're equally yoked then, you'll be equally yoked by 27/28 when y'all lock it down, and you'll be equally yoked by 30-33 when you choose to actively conceive children, whether or not she re-enters the workforce is on them.

Instead of waiting till she's 32 when her male peers are married at childrearing workshops with the woman who did what I just said, or finally enjoying his status as a high earner bachelor and not moving on her timeline.

We don't want women to only want husbands and children. Y'all just want to be us and be you at the same time in a couple different ways and it often doesn't work as planned. You can have a career, just understand things are not the same for you. There's things that don't fall in men's favor either in this world and it is what it is.

Let’s get this out the way I NEVER said men and women were the same and I NEVER thought that. smfh. And I don’t want to be damn man WTF

You guys are giving specific ages as if life works like that, Relationships end, men leave, men cheat, men die maybe in your world nothing bad happens and people can plan exact ages and times they get married and have kids but sometimes things happen and you end up in a new relationship at 32 and get pregnant that doesn’t mean you want to be a man. Smfh

idk how old you are but life isn’t just cut and dry sometimes you don’t find the right person until you’re older or you don’t know if you want kids and then you get older and realize you do and if you can have them, have them. and the way you’re talking you DO want women to only to want kids and a husband because you CLEARLY think that a woman also wanting a career means she wants to be a man.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

This thread triggered a lot of people.

If you're woman and you want to have a family and kids, start thinking about it ( and making moves) in your mid-20's at last. Don't wait to be in you're mid 30's: the quantity and quality of men available for you will have dropped and you will have more dificulties to conceive than when you were 23.

If you're man and you want to have a family and kids, start thinking about it ( and making moves) in your mid-30's at last. Don't wait to be in your mid 40's.

Don't believe the hype.

Actually, I’ve seen some chicks completely prosper looks wise in their 30’s…


Coincidentally, those the ones without kids too

 

[African Peasant]

You’re worried about her having kids when she’s ready because you think she should have them sooner?

Yes. Because "ready" might mean "too late" or "very hard". The same way I'll advise a girl not have kids too young.

You can't criticize people's choices. It's not a crime.

Actually, I’ve seen some chicks completely prosper looks wise in their 30’s…


Coincidentally, those the ones without kids too

Yes, they do exist, but it's an anecdote. The average person, especially women, looked better at 23 than at 33. In the age of obesity, rampant drug usage, process food and, sedentarism, we're not getting better wIth age.

Of course, some chick that were overweight in her 20's can 'glow up' and be a better version of herself in her 30's. But they are not the rule. It's mostly the opposite tho.

 

[Ashley Banks]

Yes. Because "ready" might mean "too late" or "very hard". The same way I'll advise a girl not have kids too young.

You can't criticize people's choices. It's not a crime.

So, you suggest having kids before you’re ready because it’ might be hard or she might have to adopt? Either way TONS of women have kids after 30, sorry if that ruins your night.

 

[African Peasant]

So, you suggest having kids before you’re ready because it’ might be hard or she might have to adopt? Either way TONS of women have kids after 30, sorry if that ruins your night.

Good.

 

[Shadow King]

Let’s get this out the way I NEVER said men and women were the same and I NEVER thought that. smfh. And I don’t want to be damn man WTF

You guys are giving specific ages as if life works like that, Relationships end, men leave, men cheat, men die maybe in your world nothing bad happens and people can plan exact ages and times they get married and have kids but sometimes things happen and you end up in a new relationship at 32 and get pregnant that doesn’t mean you want to be a man. Smfh

idk how old you are but life isn’t just cut and dry sometimes you don’t find the right person until you’re older or you don’t know if you want kids and then you get older and realize you do and if you can have them, have them. and the way you’re talking you DO want women to only to want kids and a husband because you CLEARLY think that a woman also wanting a career means she wants to be a man.

I wrote much more than this just to erase it lol because it's pointless.

Sis...I just told you how y'all can do both or not be broke waiting on a man, because other it gets done, just not often enough especially with us. You just want me to concede that women at large can move in your 20s and early 30s like men when 95% of the time, y'all can't. You want the career? Have it. Just understand that you can't stall partnership and children in place of it and have the same smooth transition the way a man can. It is what is it is.

And for the record, we're roughly the same age.