Of course Wrestlemania is too fukking long and they really need to cut 1-2 hours from the show, but this was the first one in probably 7-8 years to not antagonize the crowd and booked pretty much everything the way they wanted it.
Pre show stuff was all fluff, although it was probably nice for the cruiserweights that the crowd was actually into what they were dying. Lol at Asuka not even winning the battle royal either. I don't think they even mentioned Carmella won it when she showed up near the end of the show to dance
Seth Rollins vs Brock Lesnar: I gotta say, Brock insisting on going first if he isn't last so he can leave first is so on brand there's no way that wasn't Heyman's idea. I'm not sure you can even call this a match, a few minutes of throwing Seth around outside the ring, then they get inside, a few suplexes, and Seth wins with 10 seconds of offense
Whatever, it was refreshing to get Brock's shyt out of the way early and hopefully Brock is kept away from the title scene the rest of his run if he sticks around at all. I don't think anyone would miss him if this was the last time anyone saw him in a WWE ring. A good way to start off the show. The actual in ring match time was 2:30
AJ Styles vs Randy Orton: This was solid, nothing spectacular, just a solid wrestling match that played off past interactions but never picked up to a higher gear. AJ going over 100% and decisively clean was interesting as the story was really build to be WWE vs TNA/Indies/Japan.
Smackdown Tag Titles Match: Again, solid, nothing spectacular. Disappointed in Black's entrance being just his normal entrance on a huge stage. They've done more ornate versions at NXT shows. Rusev/Nakamura actually work pretty well together and Nak looked more motivated than he normally is, so that's encouraging.
Shane McMahon vs Miz: This was pretty good, Miz really laid into Shane the whole match, and Shane's heel work was hilarious. Kind of forgot how entertaining he could be when he's being a smarmy a$$hole instead of boring face. Miz's dad hitting the ring to square up was both
and
, man was just defending his boy. It's about time someone potatoed Shane as much as he does everyone else. Finish I'm sure means we're going to get a rematch with an even bigger stunt.
Women's Tag: Whatever. Weird to have Bayley/Sasha drop the titles so soon, they only had one defense I believe. Maybe it will lead to them finally breaking up and having the feud they've been on/off about for 2 fukking years now. The IIconics are terrible, even worse than Nia/Tamina, so they were literally the worst choice to make and if they get a long run
Kofi Kingston vs Daniel Bryan: This was obviously the best match of the night, both in storyline and in match drama/story. It was also at the perfect time in the show where the fans still had energy to be invested in the match and the celebration could have time to breathe. Xavier has been saying since literally the day New Day formed (actually even prior to the official New Day name and gimmick) that his goal with the group was to get the WWE Championship on Kofi Kingston and they finally did it, so his breakdown and tears of joy were as genuine as could be
This is actually the most fascinating thing WWE has done in years, as Kofi likely would have been in the battle royal doing a wacky elimination spot had Mustafa Ali not been hurt for a few weeks, and WWE actually calling an audible and running with something like this because of fan reaction and actually seeing it all the way through is a miracle in this era.
at Kofi's kids already hawking merch.
Joe vs Rey: Wasn't even a match, maybe Rey was injured after all, but a minute long squash is a bummer for such a dream match and for Joey Samoey's first WM after 3 years of injuries keeping him off the card and Rey's first time back at WM in 5 years.
Roman Reigns vs Drew McIntyre: I'm a big Roman fan and it was refreshing to have him in a low stakes middle of the card match I have to say. Drew's aesthetics are so amazing but he's so, so dull. Even when he was doing his PLEASE NOTICE ME, VINCE/HUNTER indies run that was getting high praise, he was boring as hell with no restrictions and going PWG style. Crowd reaction still seemed a bit mixed for Roman, which was kind of surprising considering...you know he just came back from cancer. fukkin' smarks
HHH vs Batista: This was every bit as terrible as I had hoped and dreamed
Even Undertaker never got as gassed as these two got
You knew it was going to be bad when Batista came in doing Sasha's entrance from Takeover Brooklyn and then tripped getting into the ring, then laughed his ass off when some fan audibly said his (Dave's) tattoos were worse than his (the fan's). Then HHH's cartoon Fury Road entrance and looking like he was terrified of falling off the buggie
. This dude is a 50 year old corporate exec from New Hampshire who has lived in Connecticut his entire adult life, but does these ridiculous entrances every year that you know he thinks are so bad ass, but now they're endearing in a dad way.
Anyway, what's wild is they could have actually had something unique and interesting had they kept up the torture porn shyt it started with and went full deathmatch gross out and blood everywhere, while taking minimum bumps. You know, just hitting each other with shyt and calling it a day so they don't have to do anything athletic since neither are in ring shape at all. I thought that's where they were going at first, and I think that would have been fitting and interesting, but instead they just went back to revisiting spots from their 2005 feud while heaving for air.
The JUMP UP FLYING SUPERMAN PUNCH WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER was legendary. 5 stars.
Baron Corbin vs Kurt Angle: Man, this really should have been a 30 second squash for Kurt. No one gives a shyt about Corbin, it's not going to hurt him to lose to Kurt. In the end I think it bummed pretty much everyone out that the last time you see Kurt is him jobbing to a guy dressed like a waiter in 6 minutes. When he went up for the moonsault I was stunned there was anyone who would approve of that, then he lost right after and I was so
Kind of felt like one of those things so they could get reaction shots. I mean, technically it makes sense for the guy retiring to put someone over on his way out, but man, no one wanted it to be against Corbin in the first place, let alone Corbin actually win. It's not going to get him the heat they think it will, either. Really Kurt's entire return run has seemed exceptionally vindictive and petty even by Vince/HHH standards, likely because Kurt made it clear he really wanted and needed to return to WWE, and they treat dudes like that like trash every time.
Lashly vs Balor: This was super short but what time they had they had pretty good chemistry and could probably have a solid longer match on a smaller PPV that could be pretty good. Again, surprised the first time at WM for the demon entrance was just...the normal demon entrance. Nothing special beyond him being elevated I guess, but you couldn't even see what the fukk was on the stage until he got half way down the ramp anyway. Weak entrances was kind of a theme of the night.
Becky vs Charlotte vs Ronda: Finally, fukk. This shyt didn't even start until Midnight. I literally
irl when Alexa came out and then brought out Truth and Carmella. I just wanted to get to the end of the show and even running that late they still had a nonsense talking segment at damn near midnight. I was really baffled at the entrances, where Charlotte had the Ric at the GAB 1985 helicopter entrance...but then they went straight into Ronda getting played out by Joan Jett, THEN went back to Charlotte's actual entrance, and then the band and equipment were still on the stage for Charlotte and Becky's entrances, and Becky didn't get a special entrance at all. Would have made more sense to me to have Ronda out first, then play Charlotte's video and follow her all the way to the stage, and during that time they could have moved all the band stuff off the stage. shyt was just weird. The match itself was good, certainly the best WM main event in years, really stiff, and a testament to how over these broads are that the fans still gave a shyt 8 hours into the night. Finish was surprising not in Becky winning, but how. Pretty wild how Becky went from that awful overly Irish jig gimmick in NXT to being lost in the shuffle in the Women's Revolution to floundering for 3 years to suddenly catching such fire that she's the biggest merch mover and walks out with BOTH titles in the first ever women's WM main event. Her rise has really just been over the past 6 months. She was still kind of flat and floundering before the lead up to Survivor Series. But look at her now
Disregarding the ungodly length, this was probably the best WM in a long time, especially in the sense that they actually booked to make the crowd happy instead of piss them off. Brock loses the title in 2 minutes in the OPENER, Kofi wins the WWE Championship, Becky headlines and wins both titles. Literally any of the past 10 years of WM would for sure have one or two (maybe all three) go the opposite way just to get heat that goes nowhere. Especially as 2 of the 3 just kind of fell into their laps and they ran with them instead of sticking to a plan no one was interested in.
I wanna neg R=G again
