Your most embarrassing memories

[Noriega]

Was rushing to school one morning and threw on the tightest, most flooded ass pants possible

Got roasted heavily, even my gf at the time was like

 

[King Poetic]

1. I was in 4th grade and me and other kids was in line in the school hallway,, I ended up peeing on my self

2. I was in 5th or 6th grade and my mom said she’ll bring me the new Jordan’s to the school and I’m bragging to the other kids... Mann my mom came in with some shoes with the Nike Swoosh upside down

 

[DuncanWebayama]

Just had one Monday. Got drunk with a chick at the crib, ain't had enough toilet paper to completely wipe my ass thought nothin of cuz I was drunk after.

Anyway we watch a movie, then I'm like ima go shower, as soon as I get on the shower she get in it.

I try to sly wash my ash while she got soap on her face, and I do, then we she can see again she point and say "WHAT IS THAT!" It was doodoo

I had not to say after that, just shame and a

Had mad anxiety the rest of the night

 

[FreedMind]

@this entire fukking thread

 

[Pseudonym]

I was caught on the big screen at an NBA game trying to get a kernel out of my teeth.

I locked myself out of my dorm room and had to go ALL the way down to get the spare key wrapped in a towel (I stayed on the 10th floor) it was move in day so it was super busy with freshmen and parents

I’m sure I can add more....

 

[Heafcliffe]

Just had one Monday. Got drunk with a chick at the crib, ain't had enough toilet paper to completely wipe my ass thought nothin of cuz I was drunk after.

Anyway we watch a movie, then I'm like ima go shower, as soon as I get on the shower she get in it.

I try to sly wash my ash while she got soap on her face, and I do, then we she can see again she point and say "WHAT IS THAT!" It was doodoo

I had not to say after that, just shame and a

Had mad anxiety the rest of the night

Ayo, breh. This one right chea.

 

[Speaking Womanese]

I was 18.

I found out my boyfriend/love of my life was cheating and felt powerless so decided to cheat back.

He was a shooter and it turns out the guy I was cheating with was his plug.

I phoned the plug’s phone whilst my ex was unknowingly in the room and the plug said my name out loud on some, “Womanese is calling meeeeee,”

Not only did I get busted my ex bought it up in bed, mid-beat.

I was on top of him and was so surprised when he asked me where I was last Saturday, I tried to force tears as a diversion but he was just looking at me blankly so I just told him the God’s honest truth.

We decided to have an open, honest relationship ‘till we were done being curious elsewhere and dated for 2 more years.

He named his daughter after me

 

[old pig]

trying to finger fukk a coworker @ a bar in front of other coworkers and a supervisor...me and her had been intimate before and I was drunk as shyt but still no excuse...that is legit the only thing that I can say I’ve been outright ashamed of...still shudder to this day thinking about it...absolutely deplorable behavior

yikes...I mentioned this?

 

[patscorpio]

I was coming from gym class in high school..we were playing ball hard so the legs were not as they should be. So I was through the courtyard to get to the other side of the high school for English class. Now there was a mini hill to walk up before you get to the level ground of the courtyard. You could also take the stairs as well. Now I did notice the hill looked slightly muddy but I was like I'll just run up it. So I did that, legs were dead tired, lost traction, and slid all the way back down. Of course ppl who were also cutting through the courtyard also saw that too. So there was some laughter . I went up the stairs and my pants had mud all over them. So I went to my English class real fast and asked my teacher if she had paper towels. She did (thank god)..gave me a whole bunch and I dashed into the bathroom across the hall. I lucked out though as I was wearing windbreakers that day. So I was able to get all the mud off and dry significantly so no evidence of it whatsoever. If I had been wearing anything else I would have been roasted for the rest of the day. In fact later cats who saw me slide down tried to roast me only to see the evidence was gone lol.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

as a kid was in crib alone fukking around and broke a glass vase in the hallway. shyt shattered into pieces surrounding me and I was standing barefoot ...next to me was a pair of my moms high heel shoes

the only way to get away from the pile of grass on the ground safely was to put on a pair of high heels and step over the mess. at that exact moment my father walked into the house. he looked at me and walked out like

shyt crushed my soul

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

I was coming from gym class in high school..we were playing ball hard so the legs were not as they should be. So I was through the courtyard to get to the other side of the high school for English class. Now there was a mini hill to walk up before you get to the level ground of the courtyard. You could also take the stairs as well. Now I did notice the hill looked slightly muddy but I was like I'll just run up it. So I did that, legs were dead tired, lost traction, and slid all the way back down. Of course ppl who were also cutting through the courtyard also saw that too. So there was some laughter . I went up the stairs and my pants had mud all over them. So I went to my English class real fast and asked my teacher if she had paper towels. She did (thank god)..gave me a whole bunch and I dashed into the bathroom across the hall. I lucked out though as I was wearing windbreakers that day. So I was able to get all the mud off and dry significantly so no evidence of it whatsoever. If I had been wearing anything else I would have been roasted for the rest of the day. In fact later cats who saw me slide down tried to roast me only to see the evidence was gone lol.

did something like this... decided to cut through the football field going to school during the winter because coming through the field was faster than walking around the front. nothing but snow and ice on the ground. once I made the decision to walk across that frozen field it was no turning back got some way in and realized I was fukked. had to finish the walk and fall on my ass several times while the whole school watched from the windows overlooking the football field.

 

[patscorpio]

did something like this... decided to cut through the football field going to school during the winter because coming through the field was faster than walking around the front. nothing but snow and ice on the ground. once I made the decision to walk across that frozen field it was no turning back got some way in and realized I was fukked. had to finish the walk and fall on my ass several times while the whole school watched from the windows overlooking the football field.

Damn

 

[Rhyme n Tekniq]

High School, walking home from school during the peak of fall season

Had on my best fit that, hair freshly braided and the whole nine. Had my own theme song playing in my head, Just knew I was the shyt.

Group of girls was walking 10-15 ft behind me and were choosing HARD,

I tried to walk across a pile of leaves, thinking it was still even ground underneath , then I suddenly feel myself drop. While trying to catch my balance, it looked like I was doingthe Humpty Dance and I twisted my ankle and inevitably lost my battle with gravity , fell into the 2-3 feet pit of leaves , pants half way down, completely engulfed in leaves, backpack wrapped over my head and everything

I instantly jumped up off pure adrenaline and and started speed hobbling to the corner looked back to see these bytch laughing their asses off , falling over, out of breath and shyt. a nikka was mortified, so I just kept on fast limping til I got far enough away. ankles and shins was on FIRE.

All I could think about in that moment was how I was going out like the washed up pimp from "I'm Gon Git U Sucka" with the fish tank platform shoes.

Suddenly I can hear a car behind me slowing down, figured it was somebody I know and sure enough it was my cousin and his girl who were visibly wiping their eyes and stifling their smiles.
He was like "damn bruh, you good" "you aint get jumped by some nikkas did ya"

all while still trying to contain his smirk

I delayed for a second and dismissively and sarcastically said "uuuuh...yeah, bruh I got jumped, that's it" and he and his girl instantly burst out laughing and my cuz said

"nikka I saw that shyt ... fukk two, give me a hunnid nikka" (we use to do this shyt were if a nikka took a L like tripping up or falling we would say "gimme 2 (points)")

"From where we was parked, it look like you got pulled into hell nikka"

He gave me a ride home and , and we just laughed about it the whole trip,

that was probably the moment I learned to look at shyt objectively and just laugh at myself

 

[Rhyme n Tekniq]

Here's another one


9th Grade, 1st day back at school after Christmas break.

I had this big ass bubble coat I was fiending to wear with my fit to stunt on nikkas,; I had a hard ass pair of Timbs, Girbaud, jeans;

only thing was, again, the coat was too damn big, shyt looked like I was wearing an igloo, but I was telling myself I could flip it well.

I had to walk up these big Rocky Balboa ass stairs to get into the school yard, and during my ascent, I tripped UP the fukking stairs after stepping on an ice patch. Itrid to regain my balance and while doing so stepped into the same ice patch again and fell back down the stairs but I didnt just fall...nah

Luckily the bubble coat was so ridiculously big and smooth, that when I fell I didnt tumble, I just Slid down really fast on my back.

I attempted to slow my sliding with my arms to try and recover but I was sliding so fast from such a high point that as soon as I stuck my arms out them shyts got yoinked right back to my sides and I just had to close my eyes and accept my fate and let physics do its thing. a nikka felt absolutely powerless in that moment; like I was being swept away by a strong current or some shyt. Once I stopped sliding , i got up with the hood of my coat draped completely over my head. I scared to take it off so I slightly lifted that shyt up to get a peak at who saw all this transpire, I saw mad MFers laughing and this one dude in particular was looking to the sky belting out a hearty, loud ass laugh. Imagine Kyle Barker from living single laughing, that's how it was; One of those evil, highly esteemed, aristocrat laughs.

There was no way I was about to walk through all that shyt to get in the building

I just immediately started walking back home with my big ass hood draped over my head to avoid being seen.

every second I had that coat on felt like I was marinating in the fires of hell, soon as I got to an over pass, overlooking a ditch, I took that shyt off and threw it over the bridge. Went home and shot hooky the rest of the day on my truant shyt

nobody ever knew it was me so I was good, but boy.....

 

[FreedMind]

I turned 18 amd went to a popular club in nyc and a celebrity was there I tried to speak to her about turned around and left and I was laughed at by 100 people there was a white women there she was the nicest wkmen I have ever met and she was white I pray for her every single day the abject cruelty that people show other specially the youth is horrible and beimg a bm u dodon'have thr chance to be a child