Your most embarrassing memories

[dєvilsblυєs]

I have some for days but the ones that really got me cringing right now is the time I stayed the night over my friend's house and his sister & her cousin (both cute, slim, mixed girls) pushed me down on the bed & tried kissing on me and I literally pushed them away and left the room.

I wish I was lying about this shyt.

It hurt brehs.

The only consolation that I have when I think about it now is I was very young (14 at the time) and also the sister was a thot who was giving the whole hood sloppy top. Her mom even noticed a cold sore on her lip one time and yelled at her "you been sucking those lil boys dikks haven't you!?"

...But even still, reality sets in and I realize I didn't curve a threesome to avoid the herp, it was because I was fukkin scared breh.



And this next one...

Had me questioning myself for a long time whether or not I had some mild form of autism or something.

So my brother and friend put together some money for a pizza because we were hungry that day and wasn't shyt around the house to eat at the time.

I didn't have to put in, all I had to do was ride my bike to the pizza place and get it.

So I did and when I got there it was a really cute girl behind the counter who took my order.
I didn't try to holla (still a bytch from when I was younger) Just grabbed my pizza and said thanks.

Well anyway I turn around and see my mom's friend waving at me from outside in a parked car. I say hi back to her then put the pizza in a bookbag I brought with me. As I'm ready to leave the store I look at her again thinking she would say something and I see her shaking her head and she looked away.
I think to myself wtf is her problem.
But I don't mind it much and continue about my business so I can go home and eat.

Now as I'm crossing the street I could've sworn I heard some laughter coming from the car she was in... but thought I was buggin and kept going...

Well when I finally got home my brother and friend are like where's the pizza?
And before I can even answer my friend says I know you aint put the pizza in that bookbag.

I say yea and thought to myself what's wrong with that?
So I take the bookbag off my back and take the pizza out and suddenly it starts to hits me.
Pizza.. cheese... gravity

I put the pizza in a fukking bookbag, brehs.

That's the reason my mom's friend was shaking her head and possibly even laughing at me.

The cute girl behind the counter surely must've seen me too and thought I was retarded.

So they finally open the box and the pizza was completely ruined of course.

I had literally one job and managed to fukk it up in the dumbest way possible.
Who even makes a mistake like this? I contemplated this one for a very long time...

They were mad back then when it happened but clown me about it every so often now.
"Remember the time _______ put the pizza in the bookbag"

This is basically them anytime they bring it up

 

[Gold]

Avoiding getting statutory raped at 14 is not an L.

Alotta dudes who got sexually abused get really fukked up mentally. You dodged a bullet

 

[Mʀ2ᴋDᴇᴇᴢ]

I was like 11 and shyt myself on a road trip to Illinois.

Normally I would’ve mentioned needing to use it but I was with my uncle, aunt, grandmother, mother & siblings so pussied out. shytted myself and everyone accused my grandmother til we got to a rest stop. Soon they found out it was me & I had to make that trek from the van to the bathroom with shyt sliding down my legs in shorts.


My lil breh and sister still laugh at the shyt

 

[Groanman]

I remember I signed up to a website called the coli dot com

 

[UncleTomFord15]

Probably airballing a layup during hs tryouts. Was the first shot of the tryouts too, with hundreds of ppl looking on.

 

[Jaylen Tatum]

In middle school this fine ass chick asked to be my square dance partner so I was smiling and all happy and her friend was like "she don't like you" in the lunch room in front of everybody. Visions of Columbine danced through my head. It hurt me just to type this.

 

[O.iatlhawksfan]

5th grade I pee’d on myself

6th grade I had a crush on this Spanish girl and when someone bought me up to her she was disgusted and said I was ugly

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I was at a party and this drunk girl was dancing on everybody. Somebody told her "yo go dance on Undead Ban" and she refused sobers up real quick. Everybody is there just noticing how she danced on everyone there, except me.

Was at an orientation and the instructor told us to greet the person to our left and right and the chick to my right refused to say hello to me.

Countless times being at parties and everybody is making out with a chick and you just sitting on the couch.

 

[Womb Raider]

X

 

[Spectre]

I wanna laugh

but I'm lowkey concerned hoping yall grew past it

Right?

I remember 1st year college, tan persian girl with nice eyes and her curvy friend were giving the look.

I was feelin good being the life of the moment,

then her friend came over and said "hey Spectre, are u like a stable relationship kinda guy or u just like hooking up with different girls?"

This was in front of other girls at the time....so I thought ha too easy, lemme side step the trap
I said oh I like to get to know a girl, take it slow u know


Tell me how this girl went back to the Persian girl and said oh he's not into friends with benefits, said he likes having a real girlfriend

Then she looked disappointed with the "oh" face


I thought to myself hold up, wait did I just fuk that up?.......

My boy came by and said so u got her right? ....


apparently everyone heard and now I'm just sitting by myself what type of shytty ass wing girl was her friend?

 

[Artificial Intelligence]

.......................

 

[Jean Jacket]

Tried to talk to my crush on the playground... got curved mid sentence...

Shorty hit the...

 

[Bryan Danielson]

Mine is kinda long so I will try to condense as best as I can...... my was some sports shyt.

 

[Mike809]

Im sure i've had many embarrassing stories but i cant remember right now. ill add to this later.

 

[Bryan Danielson]

So like...... I’m not gonna sit here and Coli-lie about how I was some superior ball player. But I was top 100 in my state and was pretty decent.

Never was invited to the top Nike/ABCD Camps.

But I was invited to some of the other ones like this Converse and Fila camp among a few others.

But one particular camp I made, it was my 2nd summer in a row and I had a little name for how I balled out the 1st year. Like I with a group on the paper and everything.

Mind you I’m a 6’5 PF/C, decent offense but I was a pretty elite defender, rebounder, and shot blocker. I may not drop 50 on you, but I can hold a top player to under 18.

So this site was like one of them spots where they had 2 courts and ran games simultaneously. You sign in, they give you a shirt, some shoes, put you on a team and you just run when your team is called per the schedule.

So for the most part, I was once again having a really good showcase. And I’m kinda one of those “love to talk” on the court guys. So we face this one team and me and this other dude was just going at it.

Now foreshadowing and back to talking about my defense. I have never ever been dunked on in a game. I’ve dunked on many folks before but from rec, school, AAU, Park, etc shyt. Never been on a poster and I used to meet niccas AT the rim but I had a decent vert, I’m tall, I’m strong and I just always had pretty good timing and luck.

Now we up and it’s getting late in the game and I’m just a little too cocky and out of control, now to my opponents credit, he never really talked shyt back, he just played ball.

But then this infamous series came that changed everything...