I got 3 free IMAX 3D tickets for tonight, I don't know if I should go
Man it's free. Go
xXx: Return of Xander Cage Trailer
- Thread starter RajWatts
- Start date
Man it's free. Go
1970s HeRon Flow
Takin Penitentiary Chances
Good looks homie. It expired already but appreciate it
Rell Lauren
Banned
Ice Cube should have been a surprise to those in theaters. They've given too much of the movie away in trailers.
OmegaK2099
Gettin' It In
I want to see it 
the trailers show people riding motorcycles on water
shyt! I CANT WAIT for the weekend!!!! :leotahha:
Poetical Poltergeist
Precise and cold hearted
Every time I see the entire trailer I laugh. so terrible.
TheGodling
Los Ingobernables de Sala de Cine
Unfortunately I was lucky enough to get to see this today, so here's my incredible review. @FlyRy @HHR @MartyMcFly @Nature Boy Ric Flair @Ebonic Plague @wire28 @Ironman @Norrin Radd @Prodigal Syndicate @Notorious 1 E.Y.E.
This movie is fukkery of the best and the worst kind. When I say that I mean that this movie opens with a satellite dropping out of the sky but we cut away from it to watch Sam Jackson attempting to recruit Neymar to become a secret agent for him. Because a whiny Brazilian football diva is exactly who you get to save the world. Some shyt happens and we cut to Vin Diesel hacking/stealing tv decoders from transmit towers in Brazil by skiing and skateboarding through the jungle so the locals can watch a football game. He then retires to his bedroom with a hot woman, who I thought would play like a love interest or something but instead turns out to be just a sidechick or something as Vin leaves her his skateboard and moves to another Latin American country, where he's brought back into the xXx program by Toni Collette, who did some amazing method acting for this role by getting tons of plastic surgery in the last ten years so she looks as evil as we all know her character will at some point be revealed to be.
By this time we've already been introduced to Donnie Yen's crew (which includes strong generic guy, blonde Tony Jaa and an Indian chick, who ends up as the real love interest of course), and luckily Donnie Yen has a lot of fun in this movie, kung-fuing and gun-fuing his way through dozens of cronies who can't hit a guy who is spinning on a table to take his jacket off and wrap it around someone's arm. To counter this motley crew of vagabonds Vin recruits his own team consisting of a crazy stunt driver who is really poor comic relief, an Asian dude whose talent is that he's good at DJ-ing and a talented sniper chick who actually is useful. This happens after he ditches Collette's squad of decorated US Special Forces, because they have never done a backflip on a motorcycle of a speedboat or something, so how are they supposed to save the world from the bad guys who can actually backflip motorcycles of a speedboat if they can't backflip motorcycles of a speedboat?
Vin tracks down the evil vagabonds with the help of a female British hacker, who in exchange for this important information that the US government couldn't acquire, wants Vin to have sex with her personal harem of women. I'm not sure how that benefits her but it kinda sets the theme for the rest of the movie, as with every locale change we're introduced to a new group of sexy women who lust after Vin Diesel and presumably were really happy that they had a nice change of pace hanging around on a movie set instead of making return trips to Dubai.
Anyway, fight scenes and fukkery ensue, including the already infamous scene of motorcycles chasing each other across water as well as Donnie Yen and Vin Diesel fighting on a busy highway where both get hit by cars, but only Donnie Yen sells it by rubbing his shoulder for a second or so. They also fight US special forces while weightless on a crashing airplane, and the super henchman facing Vin has special exo-gloves that give him four times the speed and power of a regular punch because apparently the writers thought it wouldn't be a real contest if he had to face Vin Diesel with just his mere man strength. During this scene Donnie Yen also floats through the air with his legs crossed in a zen position while shooting the fukk out of a bunch of guys with dual pistols.
In the end nothing about the plot makes sense, the characters are terrible and the jokes are something worse, juvenile, spread between huge chunks of unbridled fukkery action that's only enjoyable because of Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa making everything look smooth, while a hundred cuts and some CGI enhancement are at the same time trying to convince us that Vin Diesel can also do a backflip elbow drop.
The most enjoyable moment of the entire movie? The opening credits where I found out this terrible, terrible piece of shyt was directed by DJ Caruso, the guy people really tried to hype up as a talented upcoming director years back when he made that Rear Window rip-off with Shia LaBeouf and had Spielberg produce one of his movies. Somewhere in a destroyed hotel room Josh Trank must know deep down that if he is lucky, this can still be his future.
This movie is fukkery of the best and the worst kind. When I say that I mean that this movie opens with a satellite dropping out of the sky but we cut away from it to watch Sam Jackson attempting to recruit Neymar to become a secret agent for him. Because a whiny Brazilian football diva is exactly who you get to save the world. Some shyt happens and we cut to Vin Diesel hacking/stealing tv decoders from transmit towers in Brazil by skiing and skateboarding through the jungle so the locals can watch a football game. He then retires to his bedroom with a hot woman, who I thought would play like a love interest or something but instead turns out to be just a sidechick or something as Vin leaves her his skateboard and moves to another Latin American country, where he's brought back into the xXx program by Toni Collette, who did some amazing method acting for this role by getting tons of plastic surgery in the last ten years so she looks as evil as we all know her character will at some point be revealed to be.
By this time we've already been introduced to Donnie Yen's crew (which includes strong generic guy, blonde Tony Jaa and an Indian chick, who ends up as the real love interest of course), and luckily Donnie Yen has a lot of fun in this movie, kung-fuing and gun-fuing his way through dozens of cronies who can't hit a guy who is spinning on a table to take his jacket off and wrap it around someone's arm. To counter this motley crew of vagabonds Vin recruits his own team consisting of a crazy stunt driver who is really poor comic relief, an Asian dude whose talent is that he's good at DJ-ing and a talented sniper chick who actually is useful. This happens after he ditches Collette's squad of decorated US Special Forces, because they have never done a backflip on a motorcycle of a speedboat or something, so how are they supposed to save the world from the bad guys who can actually backflip motorcycles of a speedboat if they can't backflip motorcycles of a speedboat?
Vin tracks down the evil vagabonds with the help of a female British hacker, who in exchange for this important information that the US government couldn't acquire, wants Vin to have sex with her personal harem of women. I'm not sure how that benefits her but it kinda sets the theme for the rest of the movie, as with every locale change we're introduced to a new group of sexy women who lust after Vin Diesel and presumably were really happy that they had a nice change of pace hanging around on a movie set instead of making return trips to Dubai.
Anyway, fight scenes and fukkery ensue, including the already infamous scene of motorcycles chasing each other across water as well as Donnie Yen and Vin Diesel fighting on a busy highway where both get hit by cars, but only Donnie Yen sells it by rubbing his shoulder for a second or so. They also fight US special forces while weightless on a crashing airplane, and the super henchman facing Vin has special exo-gloves that give him four times the speed and power of a regular punch because apparently the writers thought it wouldn't be a real contest if he had to face Vin Diesel with just his mere man strength. During this scene Donnie Yen also floats through the air with his legs crossed in a zen position while shooting the fukk out of a bunch of guys with dual pistols.
In the end nothing about the plot makes sense, the characters are terrible and the jokes are something worse, juvenile, spread between huge chunks of unbridled fukkery action that's only enjoyable because of Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa making everything look smooth, while a hundred cuts and some CGI enhancement are at the same time trying to convince us that Vin Diesel can also do a backflip elbow drop.
The most enjoyable moment of the entire movie? The opening credits where I found out this terrible, terrible piece of shyt was directed by DJ Caruso, the guy people really tried to hype up as a talented upcoming director years back when he made that Rear Window rip-off with Shia LaBeouf and had Spielberg produce one of his movies. Somewhere in a destroyed hotel room Josh Trank must know deep down that if he is lucky, this can still be his future.
Appreciate the mention breh but there's not a single review on the planet that is stopping me from seeing this
TheGodling
Los Ingobernables de Sala de Cine
Appreciate the mention breh but there's not a single review on the planet that is stopping me from seeing this
lol, me calling it a terrible, terrible piece of shyt is not intended to stop anyone from seeing this. It's a fukkery movie so no matter how downright terrible it is, if it delivers on the fukkery those who seek it will enjoy it.
I'm an unashamed diesel stan so im there day 1Appreciate the mention breh but there's not a single review on the planet that is stopping me from seeing this
Ironman
#Knickstape
expected nothing less
Oh I'm down for fukkery all day. Watched a trailer last night on Smackdown where Vin did a dismount off another human being's shoulders, barely with a run up, with the gut hanging out and then fought Danny Wu in the streets. LETS GET IT
Probably gonna go to the cheap theater to see this
