World premier the Chaucer #GMB saga... (Sponsored by Durex condoms)

[The Fade]

All this is in my 1st year in the Army


I done had 1 chick turn out preg but not mine

Now I got another 1 preg with my kid
And now I'm going to Iraq


_____

Asia tells me we need to talk

She ask me what am I going to do about her PCSing to Italy



I didn't know wtf she was talking about


She acts like she told me about that before
And I'm like hell Naw



Them she was like
Me n the baby will be in Italy when u redeploy



Then she was like
If we were married u would get Stationed with me since I out rank u

its like when you see frieza about to blow up namek for the first time..

or when you thought goku died on namek

 

[jdubnyce]

I was like


Well


Lets get married




I got married December 31 at the justice of the peace

And deployed to Iraq January 2



nikka we was at the battalion HQ
That morning waiting for the busses to take us to Atlanta to fly to Kuwait both of us crying

Thought you were supposed to go to Italy if you guys were married

 

[5n0man]

Spoiler: got married to a white bytch and the baby wasn't his.

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

Spoiler: got married to a white bytch and the baby wasn't his.

She's Asian. You ain't even read the story, stop fukking it up

 

[5n0man]

She's Asian. You ain't even read the story, stop fukking it up

Same thing.

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

So we get to Kuwait


We find out that the majority of our battalion going to be at this big ass base in Iraq
And a few platoons are going to be attached to infantry units and do convoy and convoy protection and security checkpoints and tower guard and shyt dealing with the elections


we unload vehicles we were going to use

And it's fukking regular ass Humvees



Fam it wasn't even the ones with real doors

It was the ones with the plastic doors with the windows u zip up



We were protecting people who had better shyt than us


nikka u could throw a rock and have it go through the door u riding in


nikka they told us to put sand bags on the floors so when we roll over a IED maybe your feet won't get blown off and hopefully they can find your feet still attached to your dead body

But if not
You got one of your dog tags on your boot strings so if all they find is your feet atleast ya mama will get something to bury

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

So shyt is fukking crazy


They didn't report 10% of what was going on over there


I was working with coalition forces and they had us doing convoys with the British

We wasn't even authorized to do it

nikka the British were literally using Land Rovers that had a extended cab that was uncovered
And they sat in the back

Theses nikkas ain't even wearing kevlar


Them British dudes was getting tore out the frame

Even had 1 dude I worked with get captured and beheaded and put on the internet
(but the govt. Never let that get out)



I knew I wasn't gonna come back
I kept thinking about how I wasn't even gone know what my child look like before I die

 

[Bobby Lashleys eyebrows]

Soon as I hear I'm about to be a father

The next Monday

1SG call formation to tell us we going to Iraq
And that it wasn't a signal mission
And we were getting attached to infantry units

I was like


Cause all I wanted to do was be like Snake eyes on GI Joe


Then I thought about my child


I was gone have a kid born while I was in a warzone

Plus this was towards the beginning of the war when shyt was beyond crazy

Knowing my luck ima get murked the day my child born

My child gone grow up and not be shyt cause he ain't got no father

Don't worry, I'll be the pops. Where this broad stay?
:businesspac:

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

So I find out I'm having a son
One day when I call my wife



I'm happy n sad


Back then u mostly had to go to the AT&T trailers to use a gift card to call home

Or use DSN when u got access



Everytime u in the atnt trailer shyt was horrible


Cause it was small and packed and u can hear everybody conversation

So u in there overhearing a dude talking to his mom
As she tell him his wife moved some guy into their house

• U hearing a dude telling his moms that he not gone make it
• U hearing a dude crying talking to his wife about his friend who was killed
• U hear a dude begging his wife not to leave him
• A dude talkning to his bank finding out his wife cleaned out his account

shyt had me shaking every time I was in there

 

[BlackAlacard]

Soon as I hear I'm about to be a father

The next Monday

1SG call formation to tell us we going to Iraq
And that it wasn't a signal mission
And we were getting attached to infantry units

I was like


Cause all I wanted to do was be like Snake eyes on GI Joe


Then I thought about my child


I was gone have a kid born while I was in a warzone

Plus this was towards the beginning of the war when shyt was beyond crazy

Knowing my luck ima get murked the day my child born

My child gone grow up and not be shyt cause he ain't got no father

I knew she was trying to fade a deployment.

 

[TBdaGhost]

nikka they told us to put sand bags on the floors so when we roll over a IED maybe your feet won't get blown off and hopefully they can find your feet still attached to your dead body

But if not
You got one of your dog tags on your boot strings so if all they find is your feet atleast ya mama will get something to bury

Damn

 

[humminbird]

this is like a netflix original series.
better yet Thecoli should make a streaming service.
TheColi Original Series

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

Sometimes I called home and shyt was great
Other times my wife mad about being in Italy and dealing with pregnancy alone

Sometimes she literally would cry the whole call


The baby was due on June


My 1SG said he was going to try to get me out to take R&R for the birth


So much shyt happened that I can't speak on and don't want to

I got a concussion for an IED that April while I was with the British

 

[Gonzo]

Breh just update the fukking op.. Feels like choose your own adventure searching for the right page for the next part of the appropriate damn story.

 

[KOOL-AID]

started slow but i'm diggin this, restorin the feeling