Why successful black men are a$$holes

[Warren Moon]

Are you sure about that @mamba thst black men are not entitled to successful and attractive black women? Especially if they see them with non black men...are you really sticking to that story?

Rich and successful black men don't seek out rich and successful black women. Yeah they may end up with em but they don't seek em out based on their finances or success

 

[mamba]

SO yhey were essentially securing their future. I have seen what you are referring to in my university, not all that glistens isn't gold. I have seen dudes ised black women for favours by connecting on that we are both black shtick and then curve blacl women by giving white girls attention, I kid you not.

That's messed up. In that case, those nikkas are scum. No excuse for that type of BS.

Regardless, I have no interest in the entertainment/sports they seem ro produce a lot of times unfaithful/unsyable men so I have always pushed black women to have interest in men im careers outside of that industry...but that's just me

But, those are usually the types Black women point to as empirical evidence of this mass exodus of Black men from Black women to non-Black women. Stats support that greater than 90% of Black men in professional and non-professional occupations marry Black women.

Why are Black women worried about what people like Kanye West, Lamar Odom, etc. are doing?

 

[Opus]

I don't get it, so you're mad that she didn't approach her when she had a boyfriend? But did you approach any of the black people in your high school?

Mad? No it was lulz. I left that night feeling great.

Approach? No, I'm talking steered clear. There were a few non college bound black chicks I dealt with. My girlfriend back then for one. But you have to understand there were only 15-20 of us out of 1500. If it was up to me we all would have been cool and traded notes about the fukkery at that place. It didn't matter who you went out with. That's just on some solidarity shyt. But not everyone thinks in those racialized terms. Among college bound blacks, I was the only one who did and I'm including males. So I'm not saying I wish we went out or I wish she approached me. I'm saying at some point us both being black really meant something and groups of us chose to ignore that, her among them. If we cultivated that early and I saw her later on it would have been a different vibe bumping into her 15 years later. I'm extrapolating that to bwbm relationships in general.

 

[Yup]

Yes. I'm sticking to it.

Successful Black men don't care who successful Black women date. Successful Black men can choose from a large pool of women! We don't feel betrayed when Black women step out. We can always find another woman.

Successful Black men don't feel entitled to Black women at all.

Black women, on the other hand, feel they are entitled to successful Black men and his money. The amount of shaming that Black women do regarding the subject is evidence enough.

Successful Black men aren't sitting around having these types of conversations:

Ok, so black women whine about black wealthy mem dating other races, that's what you're telling me?
On the other hand, black wealthy men are not 'forced' to be with black women because they have their of women because black women were not at the beginning of the assembly line. Are these dudes still trying tp get with wimen they had known in highschool? And are non-black women saw his potential? I don't understand judging black women in terms of your highschool/elementary experience.

 

[Will Ross]

Then don't chase Instagram "queens". It's stupid how guys go for females that don't want them, then take it out on other females that haven't done anything to them. It's not that chick's fault that the hoe from college didn't want to fukk your shallow ugly ass. What's annoying is they see absolutely nothing wrong with them only wanting those chicks because they're attractive but if that chick wants a dude with money or a dude that's equally attractive, it's a problem. It's ok for them to be shallow but it's a crime if a woman is just as shallow.

Women have the same damn mindset no matter how good they look. Take a look at the pof. Thread

 

[Yup]

Mad? No it was lulz. I left that night feeling great.

Approach? No, I'm talking steered clear. There were a few non college bound black chicks I dealt with. My girlfriend back then for one. But you have to understand there were only 15-20 of us out of 1500. If it was up to me we all would have been cool and traded notes about the fukkery at that place. It didn't matter who you went out with. That's just on some solidarity shyt. But not everyone thinks in those racialized terms. Among college bound blacks, I was the only one who did and I'm including males. So I'm not saying I wish we went out or I wish she approached me. I'm saying at some point us both being black really meant something and groups of us chose to ignore that, her among them. If we cultivated that early and I saw her later on it would have been a different vibe bumping into her 15 years later. I'm extrapolating that to bwbm relationships in general.

Oh...I understand that. Unfortunately, many blacks are not on that solidarity tip when needed or when it is too late. I was the same way in highschool trying to find black people to connect with...but there weren't that many and those that were there were keeping their distance. I realized then, few people have the courage to stand for their convictions, they rather whine in secret.

 

[mamba]

Ok, so black women whine about black wealthy mem dating other races, that's what you're telling me?

On the other hand, black wealthy men are not 'forced' to be with black women because they have their of women because black women were not at the beginning of the assembly line.

They are not forced to be with Black women because they have a larger pool of options that usually comes with success. Has nothing to do with who was there at the beginning.

Are these dudes still trying tp get with wimen they had known in highschool? And are non-black women saw his potential?

No. Successful Black men don't have to look back. Their options grow, not dwindle.

Most Black women didn't see his potential either, so they're in the same boat as non-Black women. They're both on equal footing. It's up to that man to choose the best woman for him since they're essentially equal in terms of their investment in him.

I don't understand judging black women in terms of your highschool/elementary experience.

Who is judging them on that? Successful Black men are simply saying don't try to come knocking late in the game. We can smell that phony crap from a mile away.

I'm a successful Black man. Not some Coli dude. I'm telling you how successful Black men think. You can either ignore or listen, brehette.

 

[Yup]

They are not forced to be with Black women because they have a larger pool of options that usually comes with success. Has nothing to do with who was there at the beginning.



No. Successful Black men don't have to look back. Their options grow, not dwindle.

Most Black women didn't see his potential either, so they're in the same boat as non-Black women. They're both on equal footing. It's up to that man to choose the best woman for him since they're essentially equal in terms of their investment in him.



Who is judging them on that? Successful Black men are simply saying don't try to come knocking late in the game. We can smell that phony crap from a mile away.

I'm a successful Black man. I'm telling you how successful Black men think. You can either ignore or listen, brehette.

Ok that's fine but what you are saying is what differentiates succesful blacks from successful men of other races. As black people climb the ladder they should seek people of their ethnic group to create strong family units but instead you're essentially telling me as a black man's option widen he is less likely to choose black but more likely to choose non black and you don't think tgat there is something wrong with that?
And I don't understand feeling forced to deal with people within your own race. At the end of the day any wealthy/established man should know that a woman is seeking him partially because he has money but what is being implied is that non black women don't and singles out black women, when we all know it's a bunch of crock.
That aside, as I make more money and become successful I would want to have a black kids to pass on that legacy not non black ones. But again people have the right to choice it's the rationale that I don't agree with.

 

[mamba]

Ok that's fine but what you are saying is what differentiates succesful blacks from successful men of other races. As black people climb the ladder they should seek people of their ethnic group to creat strong family units but instead you're essentially tell me as a black man's option widen he is less likely to choose black but more likely to choose non black and you don't think tgat there is something wrong with that?

Stats suggest successful Black men marry Black women 80-90% of the time. That should tell you all you need to know regarding successful Black men and our love for Black women, despite our many options when we attain success. Black women take Kanye West, Reggie Bush and a few other nikkas and paint all successful Black men with a broad brush.

You cannot compare other ethnic groups to Black Americans. Other successful groups have cultures that value education and productivity. Non-productive men in those cultures aren't celebrated, so productive men and those with potential get great support in those communities and from the women. The men owe it to their communities to invest back.

The Black community invests more, in many ways, in non-productive men. They get a lot of support from Black women in may ways.

 

[mamba]

And I don't understand feeling forced ro deak with people within your own race. At the end of the day any wealthy/established man should know that a woman is seeking him partially because he has money but what is being implied is that non black women don't and singles out black women, when we a ll k ow it's a bunch of crock.
That aside, as I make more money and become successful I would want to have a black kids to pasd on that legacy not non black ones. But again people have the right choice is the rationale that I don't agree with.

Who said non-Black women aren't interested in the money? My point is that the Black women who come back knocking are also interested in the money. They are on equal footing with the non-Black women at that point. It's up to the man to make the decision regarding the best woman for him.

It's just about skin color at that point. Trying to shame a successful Black man on the basis of skin color is weak.

That's like a bum nikka trying to shame a Black woman doctor into dating him over a white doctor on the basis of skin color.

 

[Yup]

Who said non-Black women aren't interested in the money? My point is that the Black women who come back knocking are also interested in the money. They are on equal footing with the non-Black women at that point. It's up to the man to make the decision regarding the best woman for him.

I heard you loud and clear and I said it makes sense that as some black men climb the ladder of success they feel tied down by their own and want to exercise their 'options'.These men tend to not be problack but be on that 'we are all one' shtick to justify marrying/dating other. The choice does not faze me, but I do see the forest from the trees. I am simply the rationale is shaky but anyway...
As for the stats, I'd like to see how many black men and women are married out of their population and how many are uppardly mobile professionals to wealthy. I think these percentages would give better context to thos discussion than just saying 90% black men marry black women.

 

[Will Ross]

Stats suggest successful Black men marry Black women 80-90% of the time. That should tell you all you need to know regarding successful Black men and our love for Black women, despite our many options when we attain success. Black women take Kanye West, Reggie Bush and a few other nikkas and paint all successful Black men with a broad brush.

You cannot compare other ethnic groups to Black Americans. Other successful groups have cultures that value education and productivity. Non-productive men in those cultures aren't celebrated, so productive men and those with potential get great support in those communities and from the women. The men owe it to their communities to invest back.

The Black community invests more, in many ways, in non-productive men. They get a lot of support from Black women in may ways.

Black women are very supportive of losers but when they get sick of them losers they feel they can transfer those points on to good men. And when they can't they just blame all black men

 

[philmonroe]

You don't need to be an athlete or actor rich to swim in it. You just need a house and a job title the girl can brag to her friends about. Do those things and stay fit and trim into your 30s and the world opens up.

Also, if you like decent women you will have to lie about your intentions. I think the difference between adult men and women comes when the opposite sex shows us something we don't like. A good woman will vanish. A good man often will resolve just to smash if he hasn't already. By good I mean marriageble to many people. And a lot of that has to do with the money investment quite honestly. There is actually a scientific study that states when men pick up the tab they have higher expectations of sex. It's just part of the game.

Then a lot of chicks are out here past their expiration date trying to fetch unreasonable prices. Their lack of planning doesn't constitute an emergency on my part.

I think people want to characterize this shyt as bitterness or being lame when we are young. It's not bitterness. Lame maybe, or maybe just not as awesome, but really who gaf, i live in tge present.

Brehs just enjoying themselves. When we get our fill we bring it in. But before then a lot of the complaints and shyt women do is pointless. Women just need to get better at identifying these guys instead of checking off shyt on their husband to be checklist and trying to force the issue.

I agree with most of this post. First bold I agree you just have to be comfortable enough to have a car and spot and you'll be okay granted your looks alright. Don't know why cats act like this isn't true and get mad when they know what the game is.

I don't agree with lying about intentions though because I feel you never have to do,that. Just be yourself and you'll lose some but you'll win some too and don't have to worry about somebody ever coming at you crooked for being mislead.

Paying for meals I agree with because that's just life. I'm pretty sure we have all had or did this number "I did ________ for you and you can't return the favor" No different with this and tell chicks that all the time but they try some slick math on why that's not the case then I let them swim on their own after that.

Last bold I agree with to just that both sides at different times do unrealistic things. Chicks usually when older and guys before they have their life in order. Same complaining just on different topics about how the game did them dirty when the rules been in place and both groups should know them by now.

I'll just say as far as women go, it's funny how the dynamic changes literally over night when you're on track towards any semblance of substantial success as a man, period.
I've never had an issue with females, but the hunter/hunted dynamic undoubtedly shifts.
You can certainly begin feeling yourself when you know that you'll pretty much have your pick of the average women in your area.
The more options you have as a man, the better.
Disregarding that all women are looking at your "potential," the primary thing you have to become adept at is sniffing out the fakes.
I'm dating a classmate so on nights out at a restaurant or bar with a few associates, I don't entertain too much besides casual flirting -
but when we'd all go out before I began dating my current gf, whenever a female would ask what I did?
I just eventually began just telling 'em I was simply a student instead of elaborating what sort of student I actually was.
Ambiguous and leaves it up for interpretation. Find out how much they really like you.
A lot of women can run game better than most men.

I don't think the dynamic changes as much as dudes start feeling more confident about themselves when they know they have the requisite skills or things that work to get women moreso than a change in women. If a cat stay the same they going to still not get girls but when dudes start improving stuff usually changes. That's like a fat person that got ripped chances are they about to start showing their body off more and people can see the confidence increase (if they knew them before) over the person wearing potato sacks. That's the biggest change I usually see is in how the person themselves acts not the others around them.

It's all about the money and status, breh.

Most Black women feel they are entitled to a Black man's success and money. If he chooses to exercise some freedom over his choices, he's betraying Black women and the women who "held him down" during his rise. The sense of entitlement is at the root of the matter.

Then, if you ask those women, "so what did you do to contribute to his rise? They have nothing to say. They start talking gibberish about Black women being strong during slavery, holding Black men down and some other historic shyt. I never hear shyt like, "Yeah. I bought him textbooks while he was in college, paid half his tuition that one semester when he was broke, let him crash in my off-campus apartment because he couldn't afford housing that semester. After all that, he tossed me in the bushes for a white girl after he made it."

Black men never feel entitled to the success and money of Black women.

Can you imagine average nikkas on some "we're responsible for your success, you owe us" shyt when Black women start talking about how they outnumber Black men in college and with degrees, how they're making money, and how they can't find suitable Black men on their level?

Successful Black men don't owe Black women anything in general. Successful Black women don't owe Black men anything in general.

I agree women do feel like this at least online messageboard wise and sometimes even offline. Moreso online though. As you said in a later post some will use a few athletes dating out like that don't mean 90%+ marry intraracially. I just hate when people do that male/female.

The more I think about this, I think it's just because women, in general, seem to like a$$holes more and more. Men are just following suit..

Nah women don't like a$$holes a lot of dudes game is weak and they play the simp for p*ssy game and get made when that don't work. The "a$$holes" are usually just real and maybe a$$holes too but being real can get you a lot further than what a lot of dudes do. I see sucker stuff some cats do (pretty sure you've saw it too) and see why they end up in the friend-zone.

There was a time, in my naive super pro-Black days, where I'd call any successful Black man with a non-Black woman a c00n. That was not right. You never know a man's story. He could have been raised around only non-Black women.

That star Black athlete may have gone to non-Black schools his entire life. shyt, in college, he probably had numerous non-Black women writing his papers, tutoring him, etc. We know athletes don't get paid in college. Maybe those non-Black women were throwing him money when he needed it.

You never know a man's story. So, to throw Black men under the bus without knowing his story is lame. Unless he's saying some c00n stuff about Black women or the Black community, his life has no impact on mine. It's the same reason I'm not quick to throw a Black woman under the bus if she dates out. She only gets called a wench if she's articulating wench-like stuff regarding Black men or the Black community.

I never got this anyway glad you've grew up from that cause Ive always been on the date whoever you want just don't talk shyt about your own flow.

Yes. I'm sticking to it.

Successful Black men don't care who successful Black women date. Successful Black men can choose from a large pool of women! We don't feel betrayed when Black women step out. We can always find another woman.

Successful Black men don't feel entitled to Black women at all.

Black women, on the other hand, feel they are entitled to successful Black men and his money. The amount of shaming that Black women do regarding the subject is evidence enough.

Successful Black men aren't sitting around having these types of conversations:

I agree sorta because IRL for the most part I see what your talking about with dudes but online like here and other sites hell naw. I see discussions with black and other dudes about chicks and having them same type of discussions but just catered to what guys care about. I think you are being blind if you don't see that even on here. Maybe you are saying most dudes on here aren't successful though and don't know it lol.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Day by day this forum turns into the male LSA

 

[mamba]

I agree sorta because IRL for the most part I see what your talking about with dudes but online like here and other sites hell naw. I see discussions with black and other dudes about chicks and having them same type of discussions but just catered to what guys care about. I think you are being blind if you don't see that even on here. Maybe you are saying most dudes on here aren't successful though and don't know it lol.

No. I've yet to be among other successful Black men and the conversation about what Black woman is dating non-Black men comes up. It just doesn't happen, breh. Successful Black men don't care who Black women are dating. Successful Black men get women. Our options grow, not dwindle--especially as we age. Greater pool of women to pick from as we age.

Women, on the other hand, successful or not don't have that luxury. Which is why they tend to have more of the "who's dating who" conversations.