Whats your opinion on having kids?

[Althalucian]

Got two. Oldest has a major disorder that takes up a lot of time - won't get into it here.

The biggest factor about having kids is sadly the people having them. Put another way:

If you and your spouse are extremely healthy people with good to great mental and physical habits and health, then you'll probably do well no matter what. No matter the hardships. You could probably have three kids and you'll handle it like a professional.

But if you aren't physically or emotionally healthy in some way, like are diabetic or struggle with good sleep schedule and sleep 5-6 hours a night or still have adult tantrums because you didn't get your emotional binky then you'll probably get real fukked up forever after having kids. You'll probably mess your children up in some way.

If I think my friends are very unhealthy in some way, even if they have no or 1 kid, I recommend they don't have one (or another). I speak from experience; I've been super dad and I have been shytty dad. The worse your flaws, the more things might super suck.

TLDR; if you're gonna have kids, eat right, exercise, and go to therapy if you're fukked up.

 

[MaxBundles]

We didn’t stop. She just hasn’t got pregnant, and I’ve been going in raw for almost 7 years now.


I don’t know what it is. She has three other sisters and only one of them has had a biological child. The other nieces and nephews were either adopted or step children.

Wow 7 years? Yall never went to get checked out? Maybe your sperm count is low or a problem with her ovaries?

 

[ogc163]

I don't want them and would have married my ex but she wanted kids. I don't have the personality for being a father, and I think many women lie to themselves about having the personality to be a mother. I think my ex would have been a great wife but a subpar mom; she lacked patience, wasn't very selfless, and was slightly neurotic. I can deal with those personality traits in a wife if other traits outweigh them, but I don't want that person as a co-parent.

But I think a lot of millennial women, especially in major metros, lie to themselves about their ability to switch from novelty and status-driven career woman to lax selfless suburban mom. Jokers end up being a bad fit for the job and the child ends up suffering as a result.

 

[Prince.Skeletor]

My dad had a stroke this morning, I had to go to my parent's house and call ER
My mom was too shaken and panicking and called me and not 911.
This is my dad's 3rd or 4th stroke within 5 months. I say 3rd or 4th because its medically very difficult to know for sure.

I got 3 kids, a 6yr old girl and 4 yr old twins(boy and a girl).
I can say with confidence that my kids have prolonged the life of my parents.
Seeing my kids gives my parents strenght to keep fighting to stay alive.
I can buy my parents expensive gifts, pay their bills, I can do any thing in the world to have them living large.
But nothing gives them as much joy as when we come over with the kids, all I see is massive broad smiles that lasts until we leave, and after we leave all they do is talk about the kids.

That's one thing, the other thing is me.
I was me before kids, and now after kids I am me 2.0.
Having kids upgrades you.
It makes you more responsible without even knowing you became as such.
eventually you won't even remember your life before kids. Kids change everything.
And during lockdown when you cannot travel is the perfect time to have kids.

Sometimes i am not even playing with the kids or near them, but just hearing them around the house gives me alot of joy,

Just one thing to keep in mind, if you do have kids, the first year you should not expect any sleep.
So if your woman is not ready, imagine not being ready and then not having a full sleep for an entire year.
remember, I am not exagerating when am saying no full sleep for a year, i'm 100% serious

 

[Prince.Skeletor]

But I think a lot of millennial women, especially in major metros, lie to themselves about their ability to switch from novelty and status-driven career woman to lax selfless suburban mom. Jokers end up being a bad fit for the job and the child ends up suffering as a result.

Thats nonsense, my wife is both very successful and a great mother.

 

[ogc163]

Thats nonsense, my wife is both very successful and a great mother.

Congratulations, thank you for the in-depth response. Always appreciate it.

 

[invincible1914]

Wow 7 years? Yall never went to get checked out? Maybe your sperm count is low or a problem with her ovaries?

Why would I want to find out my sperm count is low?

 

[Red Shield]

Why would I want to find out my sperm count is low?

 

[kdslittlebro]

Well?

I'm 33, in a serious relationship and will 100% not have kids. My gf is on the same page and we're good with this. However, when other people here about this they often think were selfish, or will miss out on something amazing. Which I think is none of their business.

So where you at?

 

[Prince.Skeletor]

Why would I want to find out my sperm count is low?

I think you mean why would you want HER to find out your sperm count is low

 

[Dave24]

Got two. Oldest has a major disorder that takes up a lot of time - won't get into it here.

The biggest factor about having kids is sadly the people having them. Put another way:

If you and your spouse are extremely healthy people with good to great mental and physical habits and health, then you'll probably do well no matter what. No matter the hardships. You could probably have three kids and you'll handle it like a professional.

But if you aren't physically or emotionally healthy in some way, like are diabetic or struggle with good sleep schedule and sleep 5-6 hours a night or still have adult tantrums because you didn't get your emotional binky then you'll probably get real fukked up forever after having kids. You'll probably mess your children up in some way.

If I think my friends are very unhealthy in some way, even if they have no or 1 kid, I recommend they don't have one (or another). I speak from experience; I've been super dad and I have been shytty dad. The worse your flaws, the more things might super suck.

TLDR; if you're gonna have kids, eat right, exercise, and go to therapy if you're fukked up.

Good post! I have social anxiety and self esteem issues. 35 And no children, never been in a relationship because of anxiety and self esteem.

 

[Althalucian]

I don't want them and would have married my ex but she wanted kids. I don't have the personality for being a father, and I think many women lie to themselves about having the personality to be a mother. I think my ex would have been a great wife but a subpar mom; she lacked patience, wasn't very selfless, and was slightly neurotic. I can deal with those personality traits in a wife if other traits outweigh them, but I don't want that person as a co-parent.

But I think a lot of millennial women, especially in major metros, lie to themselves about their ability to switch from novelty and status-driven career woman to lax selfless suburban mom. Jokers end up being a bad fit for the job and the child ends up suffering as a result.[/QUOTE

Millennials are pretty fukked. We want it all while being complete guinea pigs to bleeding edge technology and failing welfare systems. My pet theory is we're going to die younger due to less sleep and a few other things, despite mitigating factors like having access to healthier foods. If you don't have children, your chances of escaping this vicious cycle is higher. Imho, if you have kids as a millennial you're agreeing to dying younger.

And btw, in my estimation all millennial mothers become neurotic in our current structure. It's a sad by-product of a super connected social world.

 

[jj23]

I can't imagine life without mine.

But I feel guilty I brought them into this world of pandemics, climate change and other assorted bullshyt.

 

[ogc163]

If you don't have children, your chances of escaping this vicious cycle is higher. Imho, if you have kids as a millennial you're agreeing to dying younger.

And btw, in my estimation all millennial mothers become neurotic in our current structure. It's a sad by-product of a super connected social world.

I think millennial aspirations are generally out of synch with probable outcomes leading to an expectations gap. And the expectations gap plays a role in parenting because so many couples aspire to upper-middle-class lifestyles and outcomes for their kids.

But many of them don't have enough wealth or make enough income to realistically comfortably obtain and maintain that lifestyle with a decent margin of safety.

Thus, debt and easy access to credit will allow many to obtain the façade of the lifestyle. However, the realization that they can't comfortably afford it may come 7-10 years into the journey.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

i want them and am at the age where i need to pull the trigger because i want more than one. salute to the women who are fine having kids in their 40's but that always seemed gross to me. spent too long with one guy trying to create the perfect situation, i'm with someone new now and he wants kids too

i did think about doing it alone so i have a backup plan (embryos on ice), since i never actually wanted to be pregnant, but wanted bio kids, i was planning on getting a surrogate.

but i didn't become 6 certs 6 figs to not have a legacy to pass this to, i'm giving some lil black kids a leg up in life , so it's likely to happen this year one way or another