What's The Most Simp S*** You Ever Did (Simp Confessions)

[Larry cumavelli]

i was tellin a story bout when i was hitchhiking throughout iraq but she thought i meant iran and i didn't have the gumption to tell that slag off

 

[International S.]

You still cool with her, you bm I mean?

yep, but I got a problem where I can have a good woman like her
and still need more and end up straying...I know it's wrong mainly because
I'd disown the bytch if she did it to me
so she gets mad with me and goes to her sisters for a couple months
especially if its a bad bytch I strayed with
then I get the call... I unlock the door and my son goes what up dad and goes straight for the video game
and shes in the room
crying and mad cause I got an Icebox where my heart used to be

and if I don't sleep on my phone that night its gonna be disabled in the morning
and if I try to sneak leave to get backwoods or something shes gonna wanna go to walmart...fukk

 

[International S.]

Dude would have caught these hands immediately.

as soon as you saw him it should have been that ^
then started an extensive extortion campaign against dude....
that 600 wouldve turned into a whole income tax check

 

[Silkk]

Cant really recall too much simp shyt i've done

I've tricked surely but it's always led me to the promise land

 

[AyBrehHam Linkin]

Chick had me and the other dude she was fukking over at her place.

Introduced the dude as her brother, which should've thrown up red flags because I remembered that she told me she only had two sisters. Anyway, we chillin..this broad starts whining about how her brother done gave this car so she can go to work and shyt (I was 19, she was 18) and how it needs some repairs to get it running and she broke..so I'm like..

Me: How much you need?

Dude: She needs $600.

Me:


Her: That's right...$600.


So I'm like where the car at? We go outside and it's a gotdamn Pontiac firebird, six speed sitting on some nice ass rims.

Me: When the hell you learn how to drive a stick?

Her: You know I know how to work a stick

Me: No...No, I don't know that.

Dude: She does though bro...very well


Me:


Anyway, I give this broad basically my check for two weeks to get "her" car fixed. She basically fell off the face of the earth for like three weeks..No replies to calls or pages. I'm out with my fellas at the theatre and I see the Pontiac with this nikka I saw at her house driving it. This nikka even got another broad with him in the whip..

This nikka sees me when him and his girl walk up to the booth and instantly starts

Me:

My boys looking at me and then him like .

Dude: I appreciate your help man...baby, say thank you to this man right here.

Girl: Thank you?

Me:


This wasn't the last time something like this happened to me

That nikka pressed tf outta you

Such artistry with it too

That nikka def woulda had to catch his ones infront of those broads if that was me, fukk my plans that night



But then again i wouldnt have gave that chick the money to fix her "brothers" car anyway

 

[ReadOneBookAWeek]

Only ever simped one chick.

 

[semicko82]

Only ever simped one chick.

Story time

 

[ReadOneBookAWeek]

Story time

Fell in love with this chick when I was 16 only to find out she was getting bussdown often and sucking mad nikkas off

 

[A Pimp Named Slickback]

Worst was probably me begging for a chick to reconsider ending things with me. Some back story me and this girl had been talking for a minute during spring semester sophomore year of college. Kissing, sex, sleeping over, holding hands the whole 9. Even met her mom. Went home for the summer, came back and this bytch started acting funny

Always ducking my calls.

Always "busy"

Not replying to text

I knew deep down inside another nikka probably had gotten to her. But this sort of break up had never happened to me. Like 100 to 0 like that. So eventually confronted her about she said there was no one else () but she wasn't interested anymore. Spilled my guts like a 90's R&B nikka just for her to start ignoring me all together.

Been #HOH ever since.

I wrote a poem for an ex who broke up with me the exact same way. bytches that start acting funny and change up on you are a different type of evil

I wrote a heartfelt poem for her hoping it would make her come back to me. She ended up showing her friend and making fun of it


Edit: Now she's hoeing at WVU

 

[semicko82]

Fell in love with this chick when I was 16 only to find out she was getting bussdown often and sucking mad nikkas off

Happens to the best of us, you live and learn

 

[ReadOneBookAWeek]

I wrote a poem for an ex who broke up with me the exact same way. bytches that start acting funny and change up on you are a different type of evil

I wrote a heartfelt poem for her hoping it would make her come back to me. She ended up showing her friend and making fun of it. Now she's hoeing at WVU

One thing I learned early is never show them weakness or vulnerability. Ever

 

[ReadOneBookAWeek]

Happens to the best of us, you live and learn

Yeah, alot of lessons came with that.

 

[Jasonmask]

I be taking bytches back after disrespect. In my defense I’m disrespectful as well, I just haven’t mastered when to bow out. I need to get out the situation before it gets too ugly sometimes I just like the drama tho . But my last simping was one I posted about before. That was 2 years ago. I saw that bytch a month ago she was jocking hard. Basically I was on some I want you back shyt nothing too crazy I ain’t never spent more than 30-50 on a broad I was never present with the side nikka with or without me knowing type shyt

 

[kej718]

Bought this chick a promise ring. She let me beat (didn't even kiss her yet), and I felt bad so I got it a few months later so she would stop looking at me weird.

Broke up a few months after that she probably sold it . A year after breaking up she got pregnant (not mine) the next dude simped a little worse than I did don't think he stuck around either.
could have been worse I guess. Lesson learned.

 

[Silkk]

at re reading through this thread

Spoiler

Need to see if I posted anything crazy