What’s some of y’all worst fumbles when it comes to women

[Devil Plisken…CMS]

Because obviously interacting with me means so much you. Ain't nobody a seasonal worker. Like I said, old enough to be grandfather and you kee-keeing behind keyboards to get back over some points. Life can't be that good for you

Nothin to lose huh

 

[RiffRaff]

I’ve definitely missed out on my fair share of yams that was there for the taking. Full fledged fumbles though? Probably good 3 or 4 I’ll have to write down the stories in a bit.

 

[Mʀ2ᴋDᴇᴇᴢ]

A woman being so candid and direct simply did not compute

Then randomly one day shyt hit you and you like I fukked up

 

[Shadow King]

Nothin to lose huh

More than you, I'm just not p*ssy like you.

 

[Javed]

Got too drunk at a house warming event, after this chick basically threw the puzzy in my lap while we were playing some truth or dare game


Told them I need to step outside for a sec


Homeboy found me outside slumped over

 

[Nymbus]

Then randomly one day shyt hit you and you like I fukked up

replay it in your mind like game film
Then go crush it the next bout

 

[Devil Plisken…CMS]

More than you, I'm just not p*ssy like you.

 

[Shadow King]

Yeah I know.

 

[Mike809]

i already told this story but i went out on a few dates with this girl studying law here in NYC.

first date , we went to dave and busters and i guess she liked me so much that she told me to spend the night at her place (near times square) which i did but i didnt slam ass with her

this happened a couple of more times (like 4-5) of me going over to her place and nothing.

i had to cut her off at some point because i couldn't keep taking these L.

now she's a corporates lawyer making 6 figures.

very smart and just my type looks-wise.

i still have her on snapchat and thought about hitting her up but that was like 5 years ago lol i would just come off as desperate.
i also removed her because i was watching one of her stories and accidentally screenshot it

 

[Sauce Dab]

Got too drunk at a house warming event, after this chick basically threw the puzzy in my lap while we were playing some truth or dare game


Told them I need to step outside for a sec


Homeboy found me outside slumped over

Damn I had a fumble hella similar to this 4 years ago. I was so damn crossfaded I could barely form sentences. This cute real tall light skin girl had came up to me and started talking to me and everything but the alcohol and weed was whoopin my ass to the point she got turned off and dipped out the party

 

[DropTopDoc]

It was a snow storm supposed to hit atl, i was trying to see a girl i was crushing on that did not want me beyond some chill shyt… chick i wanted to scalp also, told me i came by your Apt i wanted to fukk you because i was tired of this dude i was talking to my literal face

i think about that shyt weekly



Another, it was a virgin i was trying to be good, she was really into me, and wanted me to poke, i was trying to be nice, i should have she was a great girl, smart af nice body

 

[Javed]

Damn I had a fumble hella similar to this 4 years ago. I was so damn crossfaded I could barely form sentences. This cute real tall light skin girl had came up to me and started talking to me and everything but the alcohol and weed was whoopin my ass to the point she got turned off and dipped out the party

That was gone be my first redhead breh and she had some fat azz titties



Saw her a couple months later and she had a whole girlfriend

 

[jj23]

I've got 3 absolute choke jobs that made me the man I am today. Your boy had two horrendous chokes freshman year in college and one in my early 20s. I mean, these are all-timers. Whenever I think about playing it safe on some hyper gentleman shyt, I think back on these.

1st one: There was a Romanian girl who had just come to the States during high school and was a Freshman classmate of mine in college. Again, bad. Like a mix of Kate Beckinsale and Charlize Theron w/ black hair. From time to time I get a spidey sense and hyper attraction to an 8 or 9 that has to be biological and feels like destiny. I'd peeped her before and came to find out she lived in my dorm during my 1st semester. I'm like locked in on this chick like crazy. Long story short, we end up meeting in the dorm and having a little flirtation back and forth. One of the white brehs who was also trying to get at her was like "Bro...that is all you. I'm not even going to try anymore."

We had a fall break where the majority of the dorm went back home, and it was just me, her, and like 2 or 3 other stragglers in the entire dorm. Me and her post up and watch TV together in the dorm couch, and at some point, she uses the remote control as a reason to get phsyical with me. She straddles me to grab the remote control, gets up, and starts walking to her room. She looks back over her shoulder at me. My dumbass just watches. Never smashed.

2nd one: I was in college, a friend of mine who I had a crush on was dating this Junior. She was the definition of slim thick...mom from the Incredibles type build but still tight/non-sloppy below.We were both 2nd semester freshmen at the time, some shyt went down between her BF and her, and she ended up coming over to my dorm. At some point we play tickled in my bed and that pause happened where she was waiting for me to make my move. I choked, left to go use the bathroom, and came back and she was sleeping. Probably too awkward. She gets a text in the AM from her BF telling her to come home. She does. Never smashed.


3rd one: When I was 22 I met this bad 26 year old teacher at a club. Imagine a Sommer Rayesque build..white chick, ex-volleyball player. I get the digits at the club. hit her up the next day to set up a date. 1st date goes well, we make out, I press the issue a bit, but she's on her good girl shyt. I'm like, OK, 2nd date it is. You don't wanna be a "slut", fine.

2nd date turns into a disaster. I'm driving over her house and my contacts irritate the fukk outta me, so I end up taking them out. But I forgot I'd also taken my glasses out of the care sometime that week. Now I can't see shyt.

I pick her up and we're gonna grab some takeout before heading to her spot. Because I can't see shyt, I can't see street names or anything. Mind you I picked her up from her spot which is like 5 mins away from the food and red box.

Your boy is rattled because I literally can't see, my phone is dead, so I'm having to ask her for directions when her spot is like 2 turns away. She's looking at me like . I'm in full Falcons in the Super Bowl, moment is too big, choke mode at this point. Taking wrong turns and everything. I can't see shyt.

We get back to her apartment, she's a bit annoyed, but still down. We're settling in and she's like, "You wanna see me try on this new dress I got?" I"m like yeah. She starts walking to her bedroom, looks over her shoulder, and I look at her but ca't see her expression. I mean, your boy is choking hard. Rattled. Just gotta run the football and I win. I stay. On. The couch. She lets out an exasperated sigh and comes back to show off her dress. Her ass looks amazing. I'm too rattled though. "You look nice." She's lookin at me like .

She goes back to the bedroom, unchanges, comes back on the couch and we watch a move. She starts sleeping. Doesn't wake up til the movie's over.

The movie gave me time to settle in and get my mind right. I try to press the issue and kiss her, and she curves the fukk outta me. Does not open her mouth.

Making this shyt worse, I hit her up after the fact like "Hey, Friday got a little weird. I had some shyt on my mind, I'd love to take you out again."

She hits me back really quick like "Hmm. Ok...What'd you have in mind?"

I start texting back, realized I had no plan, and she's seeing the grey dots real time as we're texting on iPhone. My dumb ass is in my head like Plan? Plan? shyt I don't have one of those...ummm...ummm... I text her back "We can do whatever you wanna do."

She hits me back.

"Lol...ok. No thank you."




These shyts haunt me but I had some massive, gremlinesque runs after meditating on each and doing my Cuba Gooding Jr. in my living room running them back in my head.

That last one in particular still stings the most though. Her body was crazy and I was like "how'd you let this happen again after freshman year???" .

Wow.

You win man. You win....

 

[WaveWhisperer]

Man!!!

one time i worked at this lil auto shop and went on lunch to get food for me n my manager


I get back to the shop and this short that works for orielly’s pulled up in the parts truck to drop off something


So i start eating and i peep she side eyeing me in a way

so i finish eating and im leaning on the side of the shop lookin at the street and she comes out to head to her truck. Darkskin ebony chick. You can tell the ass was round n fat even though she had a jacket covering it up. She eyes me and says “that burrito you got looks good”



im like “yeah it was “




She go “maybe you should get me one next time “


And when she said that she was at the truck with the door open WAITING for me to step “ and my dumbass was thinking “ i aint buying the heffer shyt”


So i was like “word “





brehs she stood there with the door open waiting on me and her face went to to then she hopped in the truck.




Soon as she left I realized what happened and started flamin myself

 

[analog]

This thread will inspire lots of duck tales..



I still do this. In the moment Im like "is she choosing up on me? ME? Nah cant be, just probably just glancing. Was that 5 seconds? Nah it was too quick. Maybe she's staring because Im so ugly"

Afterwards when she/I am long gone I come the realization that she was definitely choosing up on the bul...

This might only be me, but the regret of not even shooting my shot burns worse than a fumble mid date.

That could be the girl of your dreams you're letting slip through your fingers... Just say what's up with a smile and take it from there...