What was some weird/f'd up/awkward sh*t u guys witnessed as a child?
- Thread starter Ooh Marty
- Start date
10 in kindergartenmy nikka?
I saw my dad pack up and leave at 3
Mama had a nervous breakdown afterwards
One of ny first memories was of a car accident where we fell off a bridge in a car
pop broke his neck
Found out pop wasnt my pop at 6
Harrowing.
How'd that convo go, if you don't mind sharing?
Jesus Is Lord
Give Thanks, Repent, and Forgive
Everything I ever written on SOHH is all awkward childhood ish:
What if when you was doing pushs up in between park cars at Burger King you saw ya pops tied up naked to a punching bag with chewed on grape Bubblicious covering his eyes and you see West Indian dudes pushing each other mad fast in shopping carts ,taking turns jumping out full speed with ankle weights and piping hot brass knuckles fukking ya pops up, I mean these niqqas made a ramp and everything. Niqqas got their car door open blasting "I'm In Love With A Stripper" and got their banana sandwiches on the car hood so the sun can make them hot, so you scream "Get the fukk off my daddy"!!!!, but they dont see you cause you are at the down part of your push ups and one of them says "Who de fukk seed dat" and you say "Me"!!! So ya pops scream out" Mandy, help before they put more firecrackers in my nostrils"!!!!!! But you see a Free Big Mac coupon and a half drinken Dr.Pepper under one of the cars. What would you do?
What if when you was doing pushs up in between park cars at Burger King you saw ya pops tied up naked to a punching bag with chewed on grape Bubblicious covering his eyes and you see West Indian dudes pushing each other mad fast in shopping carts ,taking turns jumping out full speed with ankle weights and piping hot brass knuckles fukking ya pops up, I mean these niqqas made a ramp and everything. Niqqas got their car door open blasting "I'm In Love With A Stripper" and got their banana sandwiches on the car hood so the sun can make them hot, so you scream "Get the fukk off my daddy"!!!!, but they dont see you cause you are at the down part of your push ups and one of them says "Who de fukk seed dat" and you say "Me"!!! So ya pops scream out" Mandy, help before they put more firecrackers in my nostrils"!!!!!! But you see a Free Big Mac coupon and a half drinken Dr.Pepper under one of the cars. What would you do?
Jesus Is Lord
Give Thanks, Repent, and Forgive
More childhood memories
What if you was chillin' walking down the block eating a bag crunchy cheese doodles and chicken fingers when all of a sudden you see a crowd of 79 people in a circle screaming "ooohh" and "look at that bytch titties"!! So you run to see the titties cause you never saw titties before. Soon as you get there you see niqqas watching a hand held DVD player and on the screen it's ya grandmother and your father fighting butt naked on a trampouline, but she wearing some Macho Man Randy Savage shades and some tight beef and broccoli Timbs so no one can know its her. Ya pops dont give a fukk cause he baby oiled up, holding a small pack of fish tank gravel his artifical hand that got blowed off in on Vietnam. Anyway ya pops joint is maaaad hard cause ya grandmoms do go some fat titties, so he tied his doo-rag around it and taped it to the inside of his leg so ya grandmoms cant see his joint. The only time you can see it is when he does a split kick in mid air. So ya grandmoms tried to jump mad high and tie her Timbs in mid-air and all of a sudden Ya pops is shooting this bytch with mad fish tank gravel through a White Castle straw, I mean he straight stinging this bytch legs and back area. So all of a sudden you hear in the background of the video, "Block with you titties, block with your titties!!" It's ya paralyzed Puerto Rican uncle "Little Man" sitting on the porch with no shoes on. So ya pops says "oh yeah, you trying to help niqqa". Next thing you know ya pops takes the whole bag of leftover fishtank gravel and throws that shyt mad fast, he making it rain on ya uncle, shyt sounded like sleet, "Brrraaapppp". Little Man says "aaarrrrggghhh, my eyes" but he cant wipe it cause he paralyzed. So next ya pops smacks this niqqa with a water hose filled with sand "BLAAAAAWWWWIE" and screams "YOU AINT PARALYZED NIQQA!!!" So,you realize that your dikk got hard too from watching ya grandmoms titties, do you keep watching or run home and squeeze one out?
What if you was chillin' walking down the block eating a bag crunchy cheese doodles and chicken fingers when all of a sudden you see a crowd of 79 people in a circle screaming "ooohh" and "look at that bytch titties"!! So you run to see the titties cause you never saw titties before. Soon as you get there you see niqqas watching a hand held DVD player and on the screen it's ya grandmother and your father fighting butt naked on a trampouline, but she wearing some Macho Man Randy Savage shades and some tight beef and broccoli Timbs so no one can know its her. Ya pops dont give a fukk cause he baby oiled up, holding a small pack of fish tank gravel his artifical hand that got blowed off in on Vietnam. Anyway ya pops joint is maaaad hard cause ya grandmoms do go some fat titties, so he tied his doo-rag around it and taped it to the inside of his leg so ya grandmoms cant see his joint. The only time you can see it is when he does a split kick in mid air. So ya grandmoms tried to jump mad high and tie her Timbs in mid-air and all of a sudden Ya pops is shooting this bytch with mad fish tank gravel through a White Castle straw, I mean he straight stinging this bytch legs and back area. So all of a sudden you hear in the background of the video, "Block with you titties, block with your titties!!" It's ya paralyzed Puerto Rican uncle "Little Man" sitting on the porch with no shoes on. So ya pops says "oh yeah, you trying to help niqqa". Next thing you know ya pops takes the whole bag of leftover fishtank gravel and throws that shyt mad fast, he making it rain on ya uncle, shyt sounded like sleet, "Brrraaapppp". Little Man says "aaarrrrggghhh, my eyes" but he cant wipe it cause he paralyzed. So next ya pops smacks this niqqa with a water hose filled with sand "BLAAAAAWWWWIE" and screams "YOU AINT PARALYZED NIQQA!!!" So,you realize that your dikk got hard too from watching ya grandmoms titties, do you keep watching or run home and squeeze one out?
I'm okay with that.
Harrowing.
Well, the accident was when i was three. All i remember was falling off the bridge and then seeing pops in a halo....
My mom used to still meet up with my real dad at the park and id be there. I would call him mr ----- and say, man, thats cool he has my first name also, didnt know any other folks with that name. They worked at the same place so he would always show up at their social functions and id see him there too. One christmas party i had to pose with these two girls for pics and i was like
i dont know these muhfukkas, but followed orders. After that party my mama took me in the room and put me on game. Found out they was my sisters. I was 
cuz i loved my pop who had raised me and was too young to comprehend shyt. My real dad was cool but i aint really know him like that, no emotional connection because i didnt know him like that.Mama told me i was jus like her bcuz her dad is different from her other bros and sisters and that she aint find out til she was 35. She said she didnt wanna lie to me and was gonna be honest unlike her mama
Both my parents were gangbangers so I seen shyt I shouldn't have seen.
Seen my moms cook crack in thr kitchen.
Seen my mom stomp out a woman over some weed. (Moms didn't like her and was looking for a reason to beat her ass.)
Seen my first AK when I was with my pops headed to go see a friend. At the time the shyt was half my size.
Seen my brother's leg catch fire. (Long story on that).
First person I ever saw die was crazy. Mexican dude, he was shot up and the ambulance had him out on the street naked and pumping his chest while his wife looked on screaming.
Lived on Figueroa and Florence and that was just an adventure in itself. Anyone who lives in LA can tell you that Fig is a major hoe stroll. The shyt I seen as a kid was
I seen the riots in 92 crack off. I was standing on the corner with my cuzzins trying ti figure out what's going on.
Seen a pimp chasing after a hoe and get hit by a car. He didn't die but he shyt his pants real bad.
Seen p*ssy and had sex with said p*ssy at 8 years old.
Seen a homeless dude rob me and my brother for a bike, my brother was riding and i was on the handlebars. Told fam when we got back and seen the same dude dead in the alley a week later.
Saw my aunts body hit the floor after some nikkas did a drive by on my mama's house. She was the youngest of nine, just turned 20 and she was 8 months pregnant at the time. RIP Kay-K
This was all before the age of 10 and what i can remember off the top of my head and what i can mention.
The fact that you're not on the streets, crazy, or in prison is a HUGE fukking accomplishment. You need to write a book my dude.
Mad props to you for coming through all that.
Some more crazy ass, weird shyt I witnessed:
My dad use to take my sister and I ice skating in the downtown area of Chicago. when we were leaving, the cops stopped us and took my dad in for questioning abt a murder
Long story short, my dad's cousin killed a drug dealer and hid the knife in our house!!
Some more crazy shyt, when I was 13 some midget use to smack me on the ass on my way home from school real shyt no
My dad use to take my sister and I ice skating in the downtown area of Chicago. when we were leaving, the cops stopped us and took my dad in for questioning abt a murder
Long story short, my dad's cousin killed a drug dealer and hid the knife in our house!!
Some more crazy shyt, when I was 13 some midget use to smack me on the ass on my way home from school real shyt no
Canada Goose
Pooping on your head :umad:
Seeing some dude layed out on the sidewalk in the Projects while walking to school.
Early in the morning and this dude was layed out on the sidewalk with a puddle of blood around his head, it was
to me TBH.
Early in the morning and this dude was layed out on the sidewalk with a puddle of blood around his head, it was
to me TBH.
Mrsmoothwb
Rookie
Well, the accident was when i was three. All i remember was falling off the bridge and then seeing pops in a halo....
My mom used to still meet up with my real dad at the park and id be there. I would call him mr ----- and say, man, thats cool he has my first name also, didnt know any other folks with that name. They worked at the same place so he would always show up at their social functions and id see him there too. One christmas party i had to pose with these two girls for pics and i was like
Mama told me i was jus like her bcuz her dad is different from her other bros and sisters and that she aint find out til she was 35. She said she didnt wanna lie to me and was gonna be honest unlike her mama
what happened after? did u still call ur step dad your dad?
how do u view them both now?
it takes a real man to play stepfather
R.O. Double
Holdin My Balls Since 83
The fact that you're not on the streets, crazy, or in prison is a HUGE fukking accomplishment. You need to write a book my dude.
Mad props to you for coming through all that.
Thanks man.
shyt was fukked up but i was young and that shyt seemed natural to me. It wasn't all bad times tho. It did force me to grow up fast and miss alot of childhood type shyt. Probably the reason why I'm almost 30, still watch cartoons and enjoy just being a big kid sometimes.
It took me a long time to get to how i am now. First I had to go thru my own shyt, do my own dirt, fight my own battles and carve my own path instead of just witnessing it. I ain't really get my life turned around until 09. Which was crazy becuz i was 26 and never planed to make it to 25. Life is funny like that.
I understand to a certain extent. I haven't been through the kind of shyt you been through, but my life was rough growing up too, and it feels like I lived out my childhood and adolescence through my twenties...it's only now in my late 20's that I'm starting to figure shyt out and settle down...and I feel you on the being a big kid and being interested in kid stuff. How you feel these days though?
He is my dad. I call em both dad but thankfully they never been around each other. My real dad gives me beer and drinks with me but he has never helped me financially. No c/s, no birthday gifts, none of that. I still love him tho because i dont judge and i could one day be in the same situation.
But he cant compare to my pop, he got me in morehouse, sacrificied his happiness to raise me. I love him and when he died on the surgery table having a quadruple bypass, i almost lost it. Thankfully God said it wasnt his time and they resuscitated him
