What was some weird/f'd up/awkward sh*t u guys witnessed as a child?

[havoc]

I remember some time back in high school when Metal Gear Solid first came out. It was back in October. I went to the mall and EB games let me pick it up the night before it was supposed to come out. My mom wouldn't let me play it though because it was too late.

The next morning, I got up bright and early to go to school. I left to walk to school and then I circled back to the house to wait until my mom left to go to work. Once she left, I went back in the house through the back door so I could play my game.

I was playing it non stop for a couple hours. Then, I heard what sounded like a door opening. I ran to the window and saw my mom's car in the driveway. I knew she would kick my ass if she found me home so I turned off the game real quick and ran and hid in her closet. She had a big walk in closet so I could crawl all the way to the back under the clothes and she would never know I was there.

She ended up coming in the house with one of the deacons from my church. They ended up coming to her room and having sex. I just sat in the closet while listening to this nikka blowing her back out and her screaming and sucking his dikk. That shyt was really a life changing experience. I don't know how long it lasted since I didn't have a watch but it seemed like hours. I still remember that was bragging to him afterwards about how long she had been waiting to suck his dikk.

I wanted to die then. I later snuck out the closet when they went downstairs and then I made a sound to make it seem like I just came in the back door. It also seemed that everytime he saw me at church, he had a grin on his face.

 

[Rozay Oro]

road trip with my pops from htown to richmond ca...

a lil bit outside of demings new mexico..near the new mexico arizona boarder...saw purplish burgandy aqua blue lookin lights..


n it got closer n closer to our car...then eventually it was right above us...everything cut off...truck rolled for like 5seconds...n jus stopped...

me n pops quiet as fukk...

popped rolled em a joint...smoked it ...grabbed his jacka subtractor ( glock 40) put it in his lap...locked the doors...n told me dont say shyt..

we sat out there for like 30mins be4 everything came back on...

n he told me if we get pulled over dont say u saw shyt...u had jus woke up...

next thing i know 11 black suvs came flyin behind us n eventually around us in wishbone formation..we pulled over...

they had army guns ....and question my pops had he seen anything weird or lights...he told em nall...he high as et p*ssy right now...

they continued questionin him..n ask me stuff..i played dumb...

n they let us go...


that was the last time we ever drove to cali on i-10

UFO?

 

[The Amerikkkan Idol]

-Seen my fifth grade teacher clean under his foreskin with a cue tip.

-in grade 4 i had this Indian friend who at the time, didn't know his family was racist. it all occurred to me years later that i was the victim of prejudice when i actually learnt what racism was. His family wouldn't let me inside his house, i'd have to play n64 with him through the living room window. Whenever they made food they would give me a dog bowl with morsels that i'd have to eat myself on the porch while everyone else was inside having a good time. they use to call me ****** and 'poo skin' when i didnt even know the significance of the word or the hate.

and u didnt tell ur parents about this?

That's what I"M sayin'.

Man, lemme find out some red dots got my kid eatin' out of a fukkin' dog dish and calling him ******.

I'll be done made curry out of all them muthafukkas

 

[black crown]

Greensboro was kinda wild when I was growing up...

- When I was 12 I got hit by a car riding my bike. Dude was flying through the neighborhood and couldn't stop in time enough to not hit me. I can remember right before the crash and right after when I was on the ground but I can't remember the actual impact. Bike ended up like 60 feet away from me. Mangled then a muhfukka. That was my mudslinger too. Missed that bike. Cop that came said I should of died cause I refused to wear a helmet. But Luckily only came out with 1 small permanent scar. Parents tried to get me another bike that Christmas. I told them I ain't want one. I think they thought I was scared to ride it again. I just knew they were gonna try to make me wear a stupid ass helmet. They got me one anyways. When they weren't there, I used to ride it cause I aint have to put my helmet on. One day they came back early and caught me. They told me I couldn't ride anymore with out the helmet. I never touched the bike again. Hardheaded I know.

-When I was about 13 my friend and directly across the street neighbor had gotten mixed up with the wrong people. Screwed somebody over and they came back one night for retaliation. Put 50 rounds in his crib bout 2am one morning. Probably still the scariest shyt I ever been apart of. Had me like It was right outside of my window and them shots were loud as fukk so much gun smoke and the people that did it circled back around to check their work before dipping. Parents aint really want me to hang out with him after that but I couldn't just diss my friend like that. To this day that Jeezy song Lil Buddy where he say.."Little nikkas betta keep my name out cha mouth…100 rounds will make a frame out cha house" reminds me of the situation. I don't really kick it with him like I used to but he still living tho.

- My middle school was wild as fukk. Seen somebody get thrown thru a glass pane during a fight. Seen a chick get her ass beat and thrown in the trash can…literally came up with corn and peas and all sorts of other shyt in her hair. She was a hoe tho. Always getting her ass beat for fukking somebody else's man. And my middle school had one of the baddest white dudes I ever seen. It was rare that somebody challenged this dude to a fair one and when they did he always kicked their ass. Seen this dude hit another white dude with a super man punch had his fists together and hit him with both of them at the same damn time dudes face was was bleeding from everywhere and swollen as shyt off of that one hit. A few months later. Same dude that got hit ended up committing that. Put that shotty to his head. He lived in my neighborhood too. Guess life was too much for him.


- We used to have this teen club called Fluid back in the day when I was in high school. Still probably the best club I ever been to. They only served water in that bytch but people used to get it in. It was a good mix of people from all over -------- Greensboro and 102 used to DJ that shyt. Some things were kinda questionable tho now that I look back on it… They used to have thong song contests. You had known 14/15 year out thotlers on stage bussin it loose for $100 bills. I definitely wasn't complainin but I'm sure it would be frowned upon today. Club used to get ratchet to. DJ used to egg it on by playing all the fighting music back to back. Can't throw on… Who Run It, Tear the club up, We Ready, etc and not expect something to go down…specially when you mix Greensboro cats, who were usually calm and collected with Rah Rah ass High Point and Winston people with no fukkin home training. Yeah it used to go down. Funny. One time tho saw this dude dancing with this chick. Master P…Hoodie Hoo was on. And the part came when Master P say "bytch get off me"….Dude pushed this chick like 20 feet when that part came on. I was in the corner like.. She got over it eventually.

 

[Professor Emeritus]

Not really fukked up but just awkward, I had this weird tendency to always be breaking people's bones on accident when I was a kid.

3rd grade we were playing kickball in the gym in PE and this kid was blocking 2nd base. I went into the base full speed and broke his arm.

6th grade we were playing soccer in the yard and I kicked at the ball too hard and broke my friend's toe.

7th grade I whipped a no-look pass to a guard in a perfect spot during practice but he didn't get his hands up right and the pass broke his thumb.

9th grade I got to go horse riding for the first time. This a$$hole a couple years younger than me was riding on the horse behind me and kept hitting my horse with a branch. Finally my horse reared up with both hind legs in the air while I was still on it and kicked him straight off his horse and broke his leg.

10th grade my friends were playing a prank on me and one of them tried to scare me from behind with a mask on while I was playing video games at his house. I reflexively backhanded him straight in the face and completely busted his nose, entire mask was full of blood.

It seemed like a pattern.

 

[Professor Emeritus]

Not really fukked up but just somewhat awkward, I had this weird tendency to always be breaking people's bones on accident when I was a kid.


3rd grade we were playing kickball in the gym in PE and this kid was blocking 2nd base. I went into the base full speed and broke his arm.

somewhere around 6th grade we were playing soccer in my friend's yard and I kicked at the ball too hard and broke my friend's toe.

7th grade I whipped a no-look pass to a guard in a perfect spot during practice but he didn't get his hands up right and the pass broke his thumb.

9th grade I got to go horse riding for the first time. This a$$hole a couple years younger than me was riding on the horse behind me and kept hitting my horse with a branch. Finally my horse reared up with both hind legs in the air while I was still on it and kicked him straight off his horse and broke his leg.

10th grade my friends were playing a prank on me and one of them tried to scare me from behind with a mask on while I was playing video games at his house. I reflexively backhanded him straight in the face and completely busted his nose, entire mask was full of blood.

It seemed like a pattern.

 

[WaveWhisperer]

ight so this one time me and my momma went fishin right?

just us two. So you know we both fishing and ya boy caught a fish and my mother got some herself


We put them in the cooler because we were gonna take em home and cook em


Well my mother decides she wanted to kill them right there (horse shoe lake ) at the park.

so she reaches in and grabs one of em and wraps a towel around the tail end of the fish snd im standing there watching her work


She grts a good grip on the fish snd that fish looking at me like

I sweater god with a straight face she starts slamming the head of the fish on the wooden table where we had all of our shyt on and that shyt was loud and echoing through the park like it wa barry bonds at the plate getting them out of there

she did that shyt like 7 times and i started asking her why she doing it and again she said with a straight face “because i want to knock em out so they dont feel the pain”


I look at the fish and the eyes is wide as fukk and its mouth is all the way open lookin at me

then she grabs the big ass kitchen knife and cuts its head off ,throws it in the lake and out the fish back in the cooler.

she said she’ll do the rest when she gets home but left me standing there stuck for a min



so yea thats the last time i went fishing.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

I remember my pops playing a prank on me and saying he was not my real daddy I was the whole day lol

edit: I was like 9 so yeah and dude really is my dad, spitting image of me.

Folks shouldn't play like that. Had breh in there like Usher in Confessions.

Man quit playing with me man

No for real don't play like that

Are you are you serious?

How you know?

Put that on everything

Damn imma call you back. Imma call you back

 

[skylove4]

This shyt to weird to be a lie. I believe every word of this




ight so this one time me and my momma went fishin right?

just us two. So you know we both fishing and ya boy caught a fish and my mother got some herself


We put them in the cooler because we were gonna take em home and cook em


Well my mother decides she wanted to kill them right there (horse shoe lake ) at the park.

so she reaches in and grabs one of em and wraps a towel around the tail end of the fish snd im standing there watching her work


She grts a good grip on the fish snd that fish looking at me like

I sweater god with a straight face she starts slamming the head of the fish on the wooden table where we had all of our shyt on and that shyt was loud and echoing through the park like it wa barry bonds at the plate getting them out of there

she did that shyt like 7 times and i started asking her why she doing it and again she said with a straight face “because i want to knock em out so they dont feel the pain”


I look at the fish and the eyes is wide as fukk and its mouth is all the way open lookin at me

then she grabs the big ass kitchen knife and cuts its head off ,throws it in the lake and out the fish back in the cooler.

she said she’ll do the rest when she gets home but left me standing there stuck for a min



so yea thats the last time i went fishing.

 

[Toe Jay Simpson]

Had a 79 monte carlo when I was 15..

One of the neighborhood OG's asked me to give him a ride to the Northside...

Longstory short, I saw him beat a cat and duck tape him to a chair....

He put a hot butterknife on the tip of his dikk to make him tell him where the dope was...



True story

Breh, I thought you was talking about a kitty cat

 

[Field Marshall Bradley]

Breh, I thought you was talking about a kitty cat

 

[The Intergalactic Koala]

• Waiting for the school bus I seen this dude begging his girl to take him back, I coughed and he ran up on me with a spiral keychain and went "ITS NOT THE fukkING TIME", and then to proceed to beg the jawn to come back to him.
• Waiting for the school bus, a guy that was bleeding with his mother walked by and the guy went like "don't do drugs okay kid" and proceeded to lumped while his mother held him up.
• Seen my mother one time zoned the fukk out due to being heavily medicated (one of the many episodes that occurred within my life)
• In middle school, there was a dude that used to wait as school was led out and just beat off to kids walking by

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

ight so this one time me and my momma went fishin right?

just us two. So you know we both fishing and ya boy caught a fish and my mother got some herself


We put them in the cooler because we were gonna take em home and cook em


Well my mother decides she wanted to kill them right there (horse shoe lake ) at the park.

so she reaches in and grabs one of em and wraps a towel around the tail end of the fish snd im standing there watching her work


She grts a good grip on the fish snd that fish looking at me like

I sweater god with a straight face she starts slamming the head of the fish on the wooden table where we had all of our shyt on and that shyt was loud and echoing through the park like it wa barry bonds at the plate getting them out of there

she did that shyt like 7 times and i started asking her why she doing it and again she said with a straight face “because i want to knock em out so they dont feel the pain”


I look at the fish and the eyes is wide as fukk and its mouth is all the way open lookin at me

then she grabs the big ass kitchen knife and cuts its head off ,throws it in the lake and out the fish back in the cooler.

she said she’ll do the rest when she gets home but left me standing there stuck for a min



so yea thats the last time i went fishing.

soft boy. if you eat animals as a human you should know and embrace the process of getting that dead animal on your plate. I get it can be gruesome but it's way worse to think that shyt on the shelf didn't have a life or some value. yes we kill to eat.

 

[Jesus Is Lord]

This thread is wild

 

[wenis]

There was a time I watched a woman get repeatedly pistol whipped outside a laundromat while my mom was doing laundry. That was something. Think I was about 8 or 9. The laundromat had a street fighter 2 cabinet.