What do you do when a close cousin/best friend becomes a dope fiend?

[Rekkapryde]

Finally had to accept it. I just don't know what to do. nikka out on the streets homeless back home, asking me to cashapp him bread for temp jobs. Never thought it'd come to this.

Remember I caught him and another homie doing some white back in the late 90s when I come home from school during the summer. First they tried to hide it, then were like fukk it, that's our boy he can see what we doing. Told them nikkaz straight up, "Yall nikkaz out here Michael Irvin'ing now???? If yall need to get high that bad, I'll find some bread and buy yall some weed myself ".

over 25 years later and homie got divorced, sister won't let him stay with her and her man, his momma the same. He claims him and the boyfriends didn't get along, but I was like . Heard he was on that shyt heavy for years, but now cuz don't lost damn near everything and probably sleeping in dopehouses. One of my other childhood homies texted me up out of the blue this morning and said he needed to holla at me. I knew it was about cuz. Basically told me about cuz being homeless, which I told him I knew, and that I don't need to give breh any more bread. Cut him off cause all he doing is using it for more drugs.

Never thought in my life one of my road dogs from lil kid age would be a damn dope fiend. What do I do mayne?

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

Don't loan him money don't let him in your home.

My cousin is living on the streets of Vegas. He robbed his sister his mother his own grandma. Countless others. There's nothing you can do.

Just hope it doesn't kill him and he sobers up

 

[lowkey0z]

shyt's crazy how people you thought you'd be rockin' out for life with do a complete 180 on you..life i guess leave that whitney houston ass nikka alone

 

[Jasonmask]

Got to let them figure it out on their own. Addiction is something only one can overcome I’ve been on both sides. Had a friend battling the H and last time I saw him he was looking strung out. Another bro of mine went overseas to hoop and got hit with a bad cut of ice and went crazy that was sad to see because we weren’t even 21 yet. I think I’ve got over doing hard stuff now, I don’t have the desire or craving like I used to. Only time will tell

 

[CopiousX]

Finally had to accept it. I just don't know what to do. nikka out on the streets homeless back home, asking me to cashapp him bread for temp jobs. Never thought it'd come to this.

Remember I caught him and another homie doing some white back in the late 90s when I come home from school during the summer. First they tried to hide it, then were like fukk it, that's our boy he can see what we doing. Told them nikkaz straight up, "Yall nikkaz out here Michale Irvining now???? If yall need to get high that bad, I'll find some bread and buy yall some weed myself ".

over 25 years later and homie got divorced, sister won't let him stay with her and her man, his momma the same. He claims him and the boyfriends didn't get along, but I was like . Heard he was on that shyt heavy for years, but now cuz don't lost damn near everything and probably sleeping in dopehouses. One of my childhood homies texted me up out of the blue this morning and said he needed to holla at me. I knew it was about cuz. Basically told me about cuz being homeless, which I told him I knew, and that I don't need to give breh any more bread. Cut him off cause all he doing is using it for more drugs.

Never thought in my life one of my road dogs from lil kid age would be a damn dope fiend. What do I do mayne?

You cant force it. They gotta hit rock bottom and want to change on their own.

I had a family member spiral like this. She was a banker who fell into depression and substance abuse when a child of hers died


Family spent all sorts of resources to fly her across the country from the midwest to a warm, welcoming home on the East coast only for her to leave the family house and join the neighborhood junkies downtown


She'd try to guilt trip my extended family for everything from bus fare, to hotel money, to money for a phone, but it all collapsed when my father went to visit her during one of the periods where she had hotel money; only to see her strung out in a bando.



We all just disengaged at that point. But you'd be surprised how resourceful junkies are. At least prior to fentanyl, they could live whole decades on the street meeting their own needs.

 

[Vandelay]

Got to let them figure it out on their own.

100.

There's so many things in life that you simply can't will people to do. They have to want to do it themselves.

 

[Jasonmask]

100.

There's so many things in life that you simply can't will people to do. They have to want to do it themselves.

It applies to other things as well like a toxic/abusive relationship or even gambling addicts I’ve befriended all of them you can’t tell them to stop betting or to leave their partner. All you can do is hope they don’t get too far in the deep end

 

[Vandelay]

It applies to other things as well like a toxic/abusive relationship or even gambling addicts I’ve befriended all of them you can’t tell them to stop betting or to leave their partner. All you can do is hope they don’t get too far in the deep end

Exactly. I just start to distance myself. I don't cut them off completely, because I genuinely care and that can make them fall further if you completely remove yourself, but don't overextend yourself and become inflexible to what they're asking. Drug addicts et al will think they are Jordan Belfort and try to talk you into supporting their crazy bullshyt.

 

[CoryMack]

Finally had to accept it. I just don't know what to do. nikka out on the streets homeless back home, asking me to cashapp him bread for temp jobs. Never thought it'd come to this.

Remember I caught him and another homie doing some white back in the late 90s when I come home from school during the summer. First they tried to hide it, then were like fukk it, that's our boy he can see what we doing. Told them nikkaz straight up, "Yall nikkaz out here Michael Irvin'ing now???? If yall need to get high that bad, I'll find some bread and buy yall some weed myself ".

over 25 years later and homie got divorced, sister won't let him stay with her and her man, his momma the same. He claims him and the boyfriends didn't get along, but I was like . Heard he was on that shyt heavy for years, but now cuz don't lost damn near everything and probably sleeping in dopehouses. One of my other childhood homies texted me up out of the blue this morning and said he needed to holla at me. I knew it was about cuz. Basically told me about cuz being homeless, which I told him I knew, and that I don't need to give breh any more bread. Cut him off cause all he doing is using it for more drugs.

Never thought in my life one of my road dogs from lil kid age would be a damn dope fiend. What do I do mayne?

hit him off with a $20 whenever you run across him. yeah he's gonna use it to get high but he may use some of it to buy some food. it's ugly but you did grow up with the man.

 

[Rekkapryde]

hit him off with a $20 whenever you run across him. yeah he's gonna use it to get high but he may use some of it to buy some food. it's ugly but you did grow up with the man.

in the past week and a half, breh has hit me up asking for bread multiple times. My sister sounded kinda hesitant to ask me about giving him my phone number but now I see why.

but yeah, i won't give up on dude, but at least I live 5 hours plus away.

shyt just is depressing.

 

[re'up]

I'll touch on this briefly and hopefully you take something from it

My best friend/brother from high school got strung out about 8 years ago, baller, he was like the best of all of us in some ways. Intelligent, ambitious. I watched his downfall with the grim knowledge of where it was going for about 5 years. This dude used to pick me up from school, let me stay with him on the couch. Visited me in jail. We were as close as anyone. We were friends for like 20 years. Smoked blunts, got girls together, hustled together, slept in the same room. Everyone would say they never saw us apart.

-When he first got hooked, he got clean on my couch, he told me everything

-we kept the friendship up, but it got strained, as he became more and more unstable, he just wasn't the brother I used to have, but he still was kinda there

-His physical health declined, and when I saw him, he looked worse every time. Teeth, skin, appearance. Mental health. I almost beat him up a few times, for talking crazy to me, but I just hugged him and told him I loved him, and showed him the door.

-He really did get clean, and we were closer again, but it didn't last. He could never really just be sober and commit to it as a lifestyle. He would get like 2 months and then start again.

-I did fukk him up one night, but before I really hurt him, I stopped, because he was just like a defenseless child, no fight in him. He had nothing left.

-He started smoking fentanyl everyday. He told me everything in a moment of sanity/sobriety I told him he needed to go to rehab to save his life. I told him he would be dead in 3 months if he didn't go. I told him if he died it would be fukking easy, because he was going to be a burn out, and I'd have to tell people yeah my best friend is an addict who lives on the street. I could have taken his last 40k and his phone and made him get on a plane, but I didn't.

-He said if I don't go to rehab, will you still talk to me? And I said yeah, but there won't be much to say, bro.

-I had to find his body a month later, going to check on him, and sit there with his Mom, and right after the police, it was the DEA task force, overdose response team, and I had to stay and talk to them. Told them what I knew. Call his Dad and tell him his son died of an overdose. I dream about him to the point he was like grabbing me in my sleep and I would wake up sweating, like I thought I was dead too. And I swear I had a dream around those times were he was younger and happy and I knew I was dreaming, but I said can I talk to him? We were just at the beach like old times.

 

[Lady.Libra.]

Every black family has one or 3...sigh.

I just don't invite them to my house or ride out anywhere or lend money or babysit anymore.

Cookouts (at parks) & Beach outings are so much fun with them though!

 

[Elim Garak]

Tell him he needs to go to rehab and that's the only thing you can help him with.

 

[Peter Popoff]

When the addiction takes over, they are no longer themselves.

Gotta pray for them but keep them at distance. They will do anything for their next high (selling shıt, bringing dangerous company near them, etc.) and start going through unnecessary emotional distress trying to bring any and everyone down with them. Shıt is really unhealthy to you even if you have prolonged conversations with them.

 

[O³ (O cubed)]

Sorry to hear that breh.

Its unfortunate but lending money and enabling them only leads to trouble.

They'll hit you up again and again until the well runs dry. He has to hit rock bottom. But sometimes rock bottom doesn't end well.