Wow, just read the whole post and I didn't realize how serious this was. I remember when I was young and my dog "Scorpio" died, I didn't cry like a little punk like your friend Biff, I stole someone else's dog and named him "Scorpio". Each time "Scorpio" dies, I replace him with another from someones backyard. I'm on my 11th "Scorpio". Long live Scorpio!!!!!! Pass this along to Bifford, it'll keep him living too, just like Scorpio.