So my boy got married yesterday. Started off normal enough with the rehearsal Saturday morning but than came Saturday night and the bachelor party. My homie who was the best man told me he got a suite at the Marriot.
Well it was only a one bed room and about 20 nikkas were coming
So the homies and a bunch of miscellaneous dudes start filing in. We sit around watching Ole Miss and Alabama smoking and drinking waiting for the strippers. It was the coli in microcosm. Everybody started getting restless waiting for the strippers to come. Cuz by 12am they were 2 hours late
Hotel security kept knocking on the door telling us if we're gonna fill up the hallway with smoke to at least keep it down
nikkas were everywhere. On the bed on the two chairs. On the window sill. On the floor
Finallly the strippers get there around 1:30am. By this time some of these nikkas were ready to burn down the hotel. Only problem is when the strippers knocked on the door they had hotel security with them and we were kicked out
So now we like what we gonna do we got these strippers and nowhere to go?
All at once everybody looks at me
"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up." Being that its my lifelong homie Im like lemme call the wife and see if its cool. Told my wife the circumstances and she was cool with it as long as everybody parked in the alley and we came in and out thru the back door.
So we get to my crib with the strippers. Most of the nikkas went home so its about 8 of us now. We roll up some more and the chicks get ready and get the music going. More bottles popping. So finally the party REALLY starts.
MY nikkas are animals
All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass
I even caught him sticking his tongue in her ass every time she backed it up on his face
Meanwhile the other chicks are all on the pool table and nikkas are trying to whip out their dikks on them and trying to suck their titties. nikkas are picking up all the ones they threw and throwing them again. Some were throwing change
I just stand looking at the whole scene like
Then one chick half laughing half screaming saying she gonna cry rape.
I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her
As soon as one of them hears the word rape one loud mouth chick grabs her phone and said shes calling 911. One of my boys goes to take her phone and they end up on the floor till he wrestles it away from her. The two other chicks were still giving other nikkas lap dances the whole time.
Meanwhile Im picking up ones
The chick who was being tickled grabs her phone and runs out the back door. Now she's in the alley raising hell talking about she's calling 911. I go out to calm her down and we get back in and everybody is running around trying to pick up ones. Meanwhile the groom is still begging the same chick to fukk. Guess she got sick of it cuz she throws a cup on Henny at him and says she going to get her knife. So now theres this ass naked hoe running out my back door with nothing but heels on to her car. Everybody starts running out the house and it chaos. Now my friends are arguing with each other, the chicks are arguing with each other, and suddenly one of them slaps the best man saying wheres the rest of our money.
Now dogs are barking and neighbors lights are coming on
Then I hear a familiar voice saying "Hey everybody shut the fukk up!"
My wife was on the back porch with the 9
Everybody started running to their cars and all your hear is a bunch of cars peeling out the alley.
My neighbor comes out asking why I didn't invite him over
Me and the groom and best man go back in the house to meet our fate. It felt like 10 minutes we stood their like
and my wife was looking at us like
Needless to say I slept on the couch without her even having to tell me to
It was 5am and the wedding was later that day. The fukkery had only begun
?
