Wedding fukkery

[RichieRich]

This shyt was waaaaaaay better than that drivers ed story

 

[SadimirPutin]

So my boy got married yesterday. Started off normal enough with the rehearsal Saturday morning but than came Saturday night and the bachelor party. My homie who was the best man told me he got a suite at the Marriot.

Well it was only a one bed room and about 20 nikkas were coming

So the homies and a bunch of miscellaneous dudes start filing in. We sit around watching Ole Miss and Alabama smoking and drinking waiting for the strippers. It was the coli in microcosm. Everybody started getting restless waiting for the strippers to come. Cuz by 12am they were 2 hours late

Hotel security kept knocking on the door telling us if we're gonna fill up the hallway with smoke to at least keep it down

nikkas were everywhere. On the bed on the two chairs. On the window sill. On the floor

Finallly the strippers get there around 1:30am. By this time some of these nikkas were ready to burn down the hotel. Only problem is when the strippers knocked on the door they had hotel security with them and we were kicked out

So now we like what we gonna do we got these strippers and nowhere to go?

All at once everybody looks at me

"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up." Being that its my lifelong homie Im like lemme call the wife and see if its cool. Told my wife the circumstances and she was cool with it as long as everybody parked in the alley and we came in and out thru the back door.

So we get to my crib with the strippers. Most of the nikkas went home so its about 8 of us now. We roll up some more and the chicks get ready and get the music going. More bottles popping. So finally the party REALLY starts.

MY nikkas are animals

All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass

I even caught him sticking his tongue in her ass every time she backed it up on his face

Meanwhile the other chicks are all on the pool table and nikkas are trying to whip out their dikks on them and trying to suck their titties. nikkas are picking up all the ones they threw and throwing them again. Some were throwing change

I just stand looking at the whole scene like

Then one chick half laughing half screaming saying she gonna cry rape.

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

As soon as one of them hears the word rape one loud mouth chick grabs her phone and said shes calling 911. One of my boys goes to take her phone and they end up on the floor till he wrestles it away from her. The two other chicks were still giving other nikkas lap dances the whole time.

Meanwhile Im picking up ones

The chick who was being tickled grabs her phone and runs out the back door. Now she's in the alley raising hell talking about she's calling 911. I go out to calm her down and we get back in and everybody is running around trying to pick up ones. Meanwhile the groom is still begging the same chick to fukk. Guess she got sick of it cuz she throws a cup on Henny at him and says she going to get her knife. So now theres this ass naked hoe running out my back door with nothing but heels on to her car. Everybody starts running out the house and it chaos. Now my friends are arguing with each other, the chicks are arguing with each other, and suddenly one of them slaps the best man saying wheres the rest of our money.

Now dogs are barking and neighbors lights are coming on

Then I hear a familiar voice saying "Hey everybody shut the fukk up!"

My wife was on the back porch with the 9

Everybody started running to their cars and all your hear is a bunch of cars peeling out the alley.

My neighbor comes out asking why I didn't invite him over

Me and the groom and best man go back in the house to meet our fate. It felt like 10 minutes we stood their like
and my wife was looking at us like
Needless to say I slept on the couch without her even having to tell me to

It was 5am and the wedding was later that day. The fukkery had only begun

neighbor wanted to be in on that debauchery..........probably watched too many documentaries on ancient Rome

 

[director_of_bands]

reading this felt like a movie

 

[BmoreGorilla]

neighbor wanted to be in on that debauchery..........probably watched too many documentaries on ancient Rome

That nikka keeps asking me when im gonna throw another party

 

[BigE214]

I'm sitting in a workstation at 7:30am with my boss next to me, literally blowing breath at the ceiling trying not to laugh at the OP

 

[General Mills]

That nikka keeps asking me when im gonna throw another party

The visual of the neighbor looking like cause he was not invited literally has me in tears

 

[Big Boss]

 

[Pineal Gland]

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

This shyt is still funny

 

[Panther]

Neighbor had me rolling for some reason

 

[BmoreGorilla]

The visual of the neighbor looking like cause he was not invited literally has me in tears

The funny part is he was still in hs at the time

 

[Vice Queen]

This is one of the greatest threads ever threaded.

 

[Black Magisterialness]

So my boy got married yesterday. Started off normal enough with the rehearsal Saturday morning but than came Saturday night and the bachelor party. My homie who was the best man told me he got a suite at the Marriot.

Well it was only a one bed room and about 20 nikkas were coming

So the homies and a bunch of miscellaneous dudes start filing in. We sit around watching Ole Miss and Alabama smoking and drinking waiting for the strippers. It was the coli in microcosm. Everybody started getting restless waiting for the strippers to come. Cuz by 12am they were 2 hours late

Hotel security kept knocking on the door telling us if we're gonna fill up the hallway with smoke to at least keep it down

nikkas were everywhere. On the bed on the two chairs. On the window sill. On the floor

Finallly the strippers get there around 1:30am. By this time some of these nikkas were ready to burn down the hotel. Only problem is when the strippers knocked on the door they had hotel security with them and we were kicked out

So now we like what we gonna do we got these strippers and nowhere to go?

All at once everybody looks at me

"BmoreGorilla you kno you got the finished basement with the big tv, pool table and the whole music set up." Being that its my lifelong homie Im like lemme call the wife and see if its cool. Told my wife the circumstances and she was cool with it as long as everybody parked in the alley and we came in and out thru the back door.

So we get to my crib with the strippers. Most of the nikkas went home so its about 8 of us now. We roll up some more and the chicks get ready and get the music going. More bottles popping. So finally the party REALLY starts.

MY nikkas are animals

All I kno is these nikkas at one point were begging the strippers to let the groom fukk or at least get head. He was sitting next to me getting a lap dance and she repeatedly had to stop to tell him to take his finger out her ass

I even caught him sticking his tongue in her ass every time she backed it up on his face

Meanwhile the other chicks are all on the pool table and nikkas are trying to whip out their dikks on them and trying to suck their titties. nikkas are picking up all the ones they threw and throwing them again. Some were throwing change

I just stand looking at the whole scene like

Then one chick half laughing half screaming saying she gonna cry rape.

I look over in the corner and one of my boys got the chick in a full nelson while another nikka is tickling her

As soon as one of them hears the word rape one loud mouth chick grabs her phone and said shes calling 911. One of my boys goes to take her phone and they end up on the floor till he wrestles it away from her. The two other chicks were still giving other nikkas lap dances the whole time.

Meanwhile Im picking up ones

The chick who was being tickled grabs her phone and runs out the back door. Now she's in the alley raising hell talking about she's calling 911. I go out to calm her down and we get back in and everybody is running around trying to pick up ones. Meanwhile the groom is still begging the same chick to fukk. Guess she got sick of it cuz she throws a cup on Henny at him and says she going to get her knife. So now theres this ass naked hoe running out my back door with nothing but heels on to her car. Everybody starts running out the house and it chaos. Now my friends are arguing with each other, the chicks are arguing with each other, and suddenly one of them slaps the best man saying wheres the rest of our money.

Now dogs are barking and neighbors lights are coming on

Then I hear a familiar voice saying "Hey everybody shut the fukk up!"

My wife was on the back porch with the 9

Everybody started running to their cars and all your hear is a bunch of cars peeling out the alley.

My neighbor comes out asking why I didn't invite him over

Me and the groom and best man go back in the house to meet our fate. It felt like 10 minutes we stood their like
and my wife was looking at us like
Needless to say I slept on the couch without her even having to tell me to

It was 5am and the wedding was later that day. The fukkery had only begun

holy fukk breh

 

[Edub]

Classic thread

 

[BmoreGorilla]

This is one of the greatest threads ever threaded.

Classic thread

Idk how this didn't make it to the rafters

 

[Cant Ban The Snow Man]

...Ok so its wedding day. I couldnt even properly function till about noon. The plans were for the groom and all the groomsmen to meet at the best mans crib since it was near the wedding. We were supposed to meet at 2:30 to get ready together. Well yall kno how nikkas are...

I get there at 3pm and Im the first one there

Call the best man and he said he had to run to the store and would be back in 5 (which turned in to 30). Call the groom and he hadn't even left his crib yet. The best mans girl lets me in and Im chilling watching football waiting. Finally the best man comes back.

He left to find beer so we could pregame

Nobody can get a hold of my other two homies who were the other groomsmen. My wife was at the crib waiting for one of the groomsmen and his wife to pick her up. his wife was gonna drop him off to us and the women were gonna go to the wedding together

But he decides he didn't wanna leave them alone so he decides to wait for us at the wedding spot

The groom and the other groomsman finally show up with the two ring bearers at 330pm. The wedding starts at 4
We're sitting around drinking watching the 49ers and Steelers like we don't have anywhere to go. Finally one of our homies who wasn't in the wedding thought it would be a good idea for us to start getting ready. The grooms all nervous knocking shyt over for no reason. So we start getting into our tuxes and I hear the groom go "oh hell no look at this nikka's pants!"

We run in the room and one of the ringbearers pants looked like this



Me: "Yall didn't try on the tuxes at the store"

Groom: "We didn't have time for all that"

So now the groom is panicking. Somebody has the bright idea to call the tux shop and see of we can get a new pair since we were right in the area. The best mans girl takes the boys to the mall while the rest of us get ready. By this time its almost 430 and the Ravens are on.

We get a call from them and Men's Wearhouse didn't have any pants that would fit him

so now everybody is panicking like wtf are we gonna do? Meanwhile my boy who went with my wife and his is calling over and over like where yall at the wedding is supposed to start when he was supposed to be with us helping get ready. At the same time nikkas are losing cufflinks and trying to figure out how to do the pocket squares. Now its amost 5 and we're ready to go. The groom and the best man go over to the mall to take the ring bearer to Marshalls to buy him some pants and me and the other groomsman head to the wedding to play damage control. We get to the hotel and I see my boy and my wife and his wife chilling at the bar

He's like: " What took yall so long"

Me: "nikka you were supposed to be with us"

They had ordered food from the bar and everything but it hadn't come out yet. So we're chlling watching the Ravens. My boy's wife is complaining to the bartender that the food hadn't come. Half the people at the wedding were at the bar cuz they had nothing else to do and had been there so long. Finally at about 530pm the groom and best man get there with the ringbearers and the guest stampede to the room.

My boy's food still hadn't come yet.

Then we hear that the bride isn't ready yet

But what wedding starts at 4pm. It's almost time for the reception. I can see anything between 11am to 2pm for the ceremony but 4pm is pretty late. But anyway...

at how this whole story played out.