I've gotten loud and disrespected her, but never cursed her out, or hit her, despite a deep resentment for her. While using drugs I hit my father twice. And me and him are closer than she and I. I'm trying to practice forgiveness every day, I don't get high, and slowly pay them back all the money I stole. Both are very helpful during this time.
I do often have feelings to abuse my mom psychologically and emotional, but I can't. I do one day want be there for her (she's not well). But I'm glad I can talk to my father now.