This Recently Married Man Just Realized Marriage Is Not For Him.

QuintessentialBM

GoldenAgeGamer82 - PSN ID
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
9,329
Reputation
1,500
Daps
14,231
Reppin
Gamers Paradise
I have seen multiple successful long-term marriages.... My parents 30+ years and I have uncles and aunts that have been together at least 20 years. Having said that, I don't think marriage is for me either... not because I don't think I'm cut out for it. I'm the type of dude that would put in everything. It's the female that I'm concerned about and once you're in, you're stuck.

As the song goes. "It's cheaper to keep her."
 

BlackBieber

Banned
Joined
Jul 20, 2013
Messages
3,788
Reputation
-569
Daps
5,068
Have fun. I'm 27 and not having kids. I'm good son. You're a bigger man then me

If a kid was running around here right now would stress me out
I feel u tho. I jus like kids to begin with. I wanna provide for and protect them :ohlawd: Thats why I want a lil girl I guess. They so precious. Its that paternal instinct in me.
 
Joined
Jun 30, 2012
Messages
1,326
Reputation
-1,385
Daps
2,799
Reppin
NULL
it doesn't matter :heh:, everyone for the most part when they get married think they are picking that good life partner, no one knows what the future holds, people change. Think of all the relationships in your past i'm sure you had some great ones that lasted a while but feelings change.

But that's the whole point!! If you base your relationship on how you feel, it will surely fail, because human emotion (our highs and low) always fluctuates; it's forever going up and down. We must focus our relationship/attention on something else e.g. pleasing our Lord, raising the children right etc.
 

MikelArteta

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
249,372
Reputation
30,853
Daps
762,616
Reppin
Top 4
But that's the whole point!! If you base your relationship on how you feel, it will surely fail, because human emotion (our highs and low) always fluctuates; it's forever going up and down. We must focus our relationship/attention on something else e.g. pleasing our Lord, raising the children right etc.

I don't, but women are control by their emotions. There is something you females fail to bring up and that is that 70% of divorces are filed by women. You fail to bring up the majority of the time its the women falling out of love and wanting out not the male.
 

Deflatedhoopdreams

Veteran
Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2012
Messages
35,791
Reputation
6,915
Daps
75,856
Reppin
The Rucker
I feel u tho. I jus like kids to begin with. I wanna provide for and protect them :ohlawd: Thats why I want a lil girl I guess. They so precious. Its that paternal instinct in me.

okay. I have a niece and a cousins daughter around my life who he doesn't take care of to protect. I'm good. I just couldn't see myself having to get them up and gong everyday of my life and dealing with all their bullshyt. :no:
 

MikelArteta

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
249,372
Reputation
30,853
Daps
762,616
Reppin
Top 4
I have seen multiple successful long-term marriages.... My parents 30+ years and I have uncles and aunts that have been together at least 20 years. Having said that, I don't think marriage is for me either... not because I don't think I'm cut out for it. I'm the type of dude that would put in everything. It's the female that I'm concerned about and once you're in, you're stuck.

As the song goes. "It's cheaper to keep her."

and this is exactly what i'm talking about. Most males, myself included would be loyal, faithful, a great husband and a great father. But that means nothing in the end of things,w omen file for divorces 70% of the time, women get custody of the children 90% of the time, and as a man you are left with child support payments, loss of the matrimonial home and gasp maybe even alimony.

I could easily do marriage and battle through the ups and downs, the good times and bad.
 

BlackBieber

Banned
Joined
Jul 20, 2013
Messages
3,788
Reputation
-569
Daps
5,068
it doesn't matter :heh:, everyone for the most part when they get married think they are picking that good life partner, no one knows what the future holds, people change. Think of all the relationships in your past i'm sure you had some great ones that lasted a while but feelings change.
i think most ppl get married off love and to a lesser degree, infatuation. im aware that love itself is not enuff to sustain a relationship. respect and work >>. ill make sure my partner is on line wit that too.
 
Joined
Jun 30, 2012
Messages
1,326
Reputation
-1,385
Daps
2,799
Reppin
NULL
I don't, but women are control by their emotions. There is something you females fail to bring up and that is that 70% of divorces are filed by women. You fail to bring up the majority of the time its the women falling out of love and wanting out not the male.

I know women who have filed for divorce and that was because the man stopped coming home and was contributing little; in addition he was also verbally abusive. Having said that, I do agree that women sometimes overreact. Either way, no matter what the 'statistics' say, i only have power over my own actions/marriage. I don't feel like answering for every other woman on this earth.
 

MikelArteta

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
249,372
Reputation
30,853
Daps
762,616
Reppin
Top 4
I know women who have filed for divorce and that was because the man stopped coming home and was contributing little; in addition he was also verbally abusive. Having said that, I do agree that women sometimes overreact. Either way, no matter what the 'statistics' say, i only have power over my own actions/marriage. I don't feel like answering for every other woman on this earth.

you don't have to because like many women out there "you are the exception" , let me ask you out of all the relationships you have been in, how many have you ended? because the feelings have changed

:youngsabo:
 

BlackBieber

Banned
Joined
Jul 20, 2013
Messages
3,788
Reputation
-569
Daps
5,068
and this is exactly what i'm talking about. Most males, myself included would be loyal, faithful, a great husband and a great father. But that means nothing in the end of things,w omen file for divorces 70% of the time, women get custody of the children 90% of the time, and as a man you are left with child support payments, loss of the matrimonial home and gasp maybe even alimony.

I could easily do marriage and battle through the ups and downs, the good times and bad.
i feel u :ehh: hopefully ill be able to find a good woman to marry
 

MikelArteta

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
249,372
Reputation
30,853
Daps
762,616
Reppin
Top 4
i think most ppl get married off love and to a lesser degree, infatuation. im aware that love itself is not enuff to sustain a relationship. respect and work >>. ill make sure my partner is on line wit that too.

True, but even people who go to counselling end up failing.

many people just gut through marriages for the kids sake, or they get so comfortable its like :ehh:, love doesn't sustain rarely. As a man I've only loved two women in my life who are not my family, to this day I still love them, but do they? doubtful.

omen are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved.

In its simplicity this speaks volumes about about the condition of Men. It accurately expresses a pervasive nihilism that Men must either confront and accept, or be driven insane in denial for the rest of their lives when they fail to come to terms with the disillusionment.

Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of.

In the same respect that women cannot appreciate the sacrifices men are expected to make in order to facilitate their imperatives, women can’t actualize how a man would have himself loved by her. It is not the natural state of women, and the moment he attempts to explain his ideal love, that’s the point at which his idealization becomes her obligation. Our girlfriends, our wives, daughters and even our mothers are all incapable of this idealized love. As nice as it would be to relax, trust and be vulnerable, upfront, rational and open, the great abyss is still the lack of an ability for women to love Men as Men would like them to.

For the plugged-in beta, this aspect of ‘awakening’ is very difficult to confront. Even in the face of constant, often traumatic, controversions to what a man hopes will be his reward for living up to qualifying for a woman’s love and intimacy, he’ll still hold onto that Disneyesque ideal.

It’s very important to understand that this love archetype is an artifact from our earliest feminized conditioning. It’s much healthier to accept that it isn’t possible and live within that framework. If she’s there, she’s there, if not, oh well. She’s not incapable of love in the way she defines it, she’s incapable of love as you would have it. She doesn’t lack the capacity for connection and emotional investment, she lacks the capacity for the connection you think would ideally suit you.

The resulting love that defines a long-term couple’s relationship is the result of coming to an understanding of this impossibility and re-imagining what it should be for Men. Men have been, and should be, the more dominant gender, not because of some imagined divine right or physical prowess, but because on some rudimentary psychological level we ought to realized that a woman’s love is contingent upon our capacity to maintain that love in spite of a woman’s hypergamy. By order of degrees, hypergamy will define who a woman loves and who she will not, depending upon her own opportunities and capacity to attract it.
 

posterchild336

Superstar
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
8,082
Reputation
1,245
Daps
18,976
Reppin
NULL
same dudes I see on the coli complaining about marriage and throwing in bushes/divorce rate are same ones that are in the threads saying I would wife this pawg off of her looks, or I would wife Kim Kardashian/ all these other chicks by looks or the fatness of that ass....

Now you see why divorce rates are the way they are
 
Joined
Jun 30, 2012
Messages
1,326
Reputation
-1,385
Daps
2,799
Reppin
NULL
you don't have to because like many women out there "you are the exception" , let me ask you out of all the relationships you have been in, how many have you ended? because the feelings have changed

:youngsabo:

I don't believe I'm 'special' because I know many girls like myself, and many better than me. it's extremely narcissistic/self-centered to believe you're better than others based on assumptions. Erm, I date for marriage, so yes I've ended a few because i didn't believe we were compatible. Why waste my/or his time? The problem with our culture nowadays is that people date out of convenience, and then 'fall' into a relationship. The whole first look or love at first sight is idiotic to me, and extremely shallow. I plan to only fall in love with my husband , because by then I know to an extent what type of person he is.
 

BlackBieber

Banned
Joined
Jul 20, 2013
Messages
3,788
Reputation
-569
Daps
5,068
I don't believe I'm 'special' because I know many girls like myself, and many better than me. it's extremely narcissistic/self-centered to believe you're better than others based on assumptions. Erm, I date for marriage, so yes I've ended a few because i didn't believe we were compatible. Why waste my/or his time? The problem with our culture nowadays is that people date out of convenience, and then 'fall' into a relationship. The whole first look or love at first sight is idiotic to me, and extremely shallow. I plan to only fall in love with my husband , because by then I know to an extent what type of person he is.
marry me :noah:
 
Top