Essential The Official Football (Soccer) Thread - We are SO back, the Premier League returns!

[BOBN]

sorry bro, pulled the rug out from under your feet. moved post to euro thread http://www.the-coli.com/619570-post5452.html

 

[concise]

If OFT were a soccer club, my 11 is looking like this

GK - yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo clearly. His studying of various foreign leagues would directly translate into burying himself in game footage of our opponents. He'd have the shooting tendencies of every player on Earth covered.

LB -

CB - Mastermind. An unwavering American presence to anchor the back line.

CB -

RB -

CDM - Glivbreh. You need consistency, reliability, and a penchant for fukkery from a defensive mid. His wumming tactics are throwing off the game of opposing playmakers, and his efficient and constant style means we're keeping possession.

CM - Kunty: Always posting = always showing up in games. Heart and soul of the team with no desire to be the face. He's just out there holding everything together.

CAM - Hollister. His game probably isn't suited to being an attacking mid at all, but he's Brazilian so he probably has either a sexy last name or ethnically relevant nickname that'll look proper above a 10

LWM - Frush: Maybe an alcoholic, but so are most virtuosos. His inability to respect the artistic quality of anything recent and/or mainstream is a clear sign of underlying genius. Our very own George Best, really.

RWM: Penfield: Frush's hipster anti-thesis. This is like Figo-Ronaldo at Euro 2004.

ST - Scorch: A striker needs to have a short memory. He can't tear himself up over misses, or let the media get in his head after a bad game. Scorch's ability to shamelessly start/stop dikkriding his brehs and ignore general consensus means he has the mental makeup of a proper number 9.

You really going out there with positions unfilled?

 

[mastermind]

lets be real about Giroud for a second...


he is the new Drogba for Premier League centerbacks

 

[thatrapsfan]

The France striker Olivier Giroud has revealed why he snubbed a move to Chelsea in favour of joining Arsenal. Giroud completed his £13m transfer from Montpellier on Tuesday after rejecting the chance to sign for the Champions League winners.

The 25-year-old said he prefers the setup at Arsenal, including its French influence, and suspected the Chelsea manager Roberto Di Matteo knew little about him.

"Why did I choose Arsenal rather than Chelsea?" Giroud told French newspaper L'Equipe. "Because it is a club I love and I thought it would be easier for my adaptation.

"Arsenal is a great club, the facilities are wonderful, but I feel it is a club that takes big care before signing a player, notably considering human values.

"There are French players. There is also Arsène Wenger [the manager] who let me understand he really wanted me. Chelsea is very nice, it is a great club, but I am not convinced Di Matteo knows who I am

 

[Mané Swagincha]

Hollister is like Lucas.

Everyone thinks he can attack cuz he from Brazil but then we found out really fast that he is just a runner.

But i can shoot mate



I got some tricks and a stepover or two up my sleeve tho

Mastermind is Eddie Pope, Frush is Ribery and Pen is Nasri, Scorch is Torres

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

If OFT were a soccer club, my 11 is looking like this

GK - yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo clearly. His studying of various foreign leagues would directly translate into burying himself in game footage of our opponents. He'd have the shooting tendencies of every player on Earth covered.

LB -

CB - Mastermind. An unwavering American presence to anchor the back line.

CB -

RB -

CDM - Glivbreh. You need consistency, reliability, and a penchant for fukkery from a defensive mid. His wumming tactics are throwing off the game of opposing playmakers, and his efficient and constant style means we're keeping possession.

CM - Kunty: Always posting = always showing up in games. Heart and soul of the team with no desire to be the face. He's just out there holding everything together.

CAM - Hollister. His game probably isn't suited to being an attacking mid at all, but he's Brazilian so he probably has either a sexy last name or ethnically relevant nickname that'll look proper above a 10

LWM - Frush: Maybe an alcoholic, but so are most virtuosos. His inability to respect the artistic quality of anything recent and/or mainstream is a clear sign of underlying genius. Our very own George Best, really.

RWM: Penfield: Frush's hipster anti-thesis. This is like Figo-Ronaldo at Euro 2004.

ST - Scorch: A striker needs to have a short memory. He can't tear himself up over misses, or let the media get in his head after a bad game. Scorch's ability to shamelessly start/stop dikkriding his brehs and ignore general consensus means he has the mental makeup of a proper number 9.

I aint a midfielder, Im too lazy. I have very good movement and a wand of a left foot, but I'm a bloody forward who can play anywhere across the front line.

 

[SCORCH]

scorcher

so what hes saying is he thinks di matteo doesnt know anything about european football

'Why did I choose Arsenal rather than Chelsea? Because it is a club I love. And I thought it would be easier for my adaptation.

Took the easy option then.

Hiding out in north London away from all the scrutiny that comes with playing for a top club. Worrying lack of character.

'Chelsea is very nice, it is a great club, but I am not convinced (coach Roberto) Di Matteo knows who I am.'

He probably didn't know who Marin, Hazard were either but he still has one more European Cup than Wenger does.

 

[dennis roadman]

I'm CAM tbf, my creativity cannot be ignored.



And as for the pretending to be a sports star thing. I'm 6"2/6"3.

I can put on an american accent, i could tell people i am the only ever white person to dunk in the NBA. Someone would believe me.

Though problems may arise should i ever be asked to prove it.

6'3" isn't tall in the nba

btw you said 6 inches m8. unless you were referring to your penis, which we all know is significantly smaller than 6"

He styled on them alright and you guys practically in the Libertadores already playing Coritiba in finals. You think Valdivia would stay if ya win Copa do Brasil and play Libertadores next season? Sure way to bring in more talent

he'll stay, he just had to make his wife look like he wanted to leave so he could be like

stop sohh jinxing the pigs

Took the easy option then.

Hiding out in north London away from all the scrutiny that comes with playing for a top club. Worrying lack of character.



He probably didn't know who Marin, Hazard were either but he still has one more European Cup than Wenger does.

 

[Gilver]

6'3" isn't tall in the nba

btw you said 6 inches m8. unless you were referring to your penis, which we all know is significantly smaller than 6"

Like english people know the average height of the nba player.

And who cares, fukk mathematatics.

 

[dennis roadman]

Like english people know the average height of the nba player.

And who cares, fukk mathematatics.

i was just saying it's the wrong symbol

eat good breh. eat good

 

[Gilver]

And i was just saying who gives a fukk.

You polish fakkit.

 

[Scottie Drippin]

Calm it down gents, I'll be having no in-fighting on my squad.

 

[dennis roadman]

And i was just saying who gives a fukk.

You polish fakkit.

pierdol się

 

[yoyoyo1]

Major League Soccer Nearing New York Stadium in Flushing, Queens - WSJ.com

holy shyt, the proposed site for the NYC2 team is EXACTLY around where i played soccer growing up

I hope it's not displacing anyone or any leagues that still might be going on around there, then again that area was always a dusty wasteland. If this happens it's fukking brilliant. Right in the heart of where thousands of people play their football every day... you can't get realer than that!

 

[Scottie Drippin]

Is it wrong that I'm waiting on this team to exist to start dikkriding an MLS squad?