Essential The Official Football (Soccer) Thread - We are SO back, the Premier League returns!

[Scottie Drippin]

Yeah, I'm 6'3", too. It's always been my plan that when I hit abroad, ESPECIALLY in the orient, I'm telling everyone I'm some NFL player that JUST cut his dreads like the day before.

 

[Roaden Polynice]

i'm 5'9

or were you going all the way live and referring to the soccaball? cause yeah, that works. "i used to play in germany until i blew out my knee *slight limp the rest of the night* "


want to see Ted after ingesting copious amounts of marijuana

All the way soccaball

I'm 5'10 and skinny, could work tbf

 

[mastermind]

 

[Scottie Drippin]

If OFT were a soccer club, my 11 is looking like this

GK - yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo clearly. His studying of various foreign leagues would directly translate into burying himself in game footage of our opponents. He'd have the shooting tendencies of every player on Earth covered.

LB -

CB - Mastermind. An unwavering American presence to anchor the back line.

CB -

RB -

CDM - Glivbreh. You need consistency, reliability, and a penchant for fukkery from a defensive mid. His wumming tactics are throwing off the game of opposing playmakers, and his efficient and constant style means we're keeping possession.

CM - Kunty: Always posting = always showing up in games. Heart and soul of the team with no desire to be the face. He's just out there holding everything together.

CAM - Hollister. His game probably isn't suited to being an attacking mid at all, but he's Brazilian so he probably has either a sexy last name or ethnically relevant nickname that'll look proper above a 10

LWM - Frush: Maybe an alcoholic, but so are most virtuosos. His inability to respect the artistic quality of anything recent and/or mainstream is a clear sign of underlying genius. Our very own George Best, really.

RWM: Penfield: Frush's hipster anti-thesis. This is like Figo-Ronaldo at Euro 2004.

ST - Scorch: A striker needs to have a short memory. He can't tear himself up over misses, or let the media get in his head after a bad game. Scorch's ability to shamelessly start/stop dikkriding his brehs and ignore general consensus means he has the mental makeup of a proper number 9.

 

[dennis roadman]

If OFT were a soccer club, my 11 is looking like this

GK - yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo clearly. His studying of various foreign leagues would directly translate into burying himself in game footage of our opponents. He'd have the shooting tendencies of every player on Earth covered.

LB -

CB - Mastermind. An unwavering American presence to anchor the back line.

CB -

RB -

CDM - Glivbreh. You need consistency, reliability, and a penchant for fukkery from a defensive mid. His wumming tactics are throwing off the game of opposing playmakers, and his efficient and constant style means we're keeping possession.

CM - Kunty: Always posting = always showing up in games. Heart and soul of the team with no desire to be the face. He's just out there holding everything together.

CAM - Hollister. His game probably isn't suited to being an attacking mid at all, but he's Brazilian so he probably has either a sexy last name or ethnically relevant nickname that'll look proper above a 10

LWM - Frush: Maybe an alcoholic, but so are most virtuosos. His inability to respect the artistic quality of anything recent and/or mainstream is a clear sign of underlying genius. Our very own George Best, really.

RWM: Penfield: Frush's hipster anti-thesis. This is like Figo-Ronaldo at Euro 2004.

ST - Scorch: A striker needs to have a short memory. He can't tear himself up over misses, or let the media get in his head after a bad game. Scorch's ability to shamelessly start/stop dikkriding his brehs and ignore general consensus means he has the mental makeup of a proper number 9.

you just gone do me like that huh breh. ol villas boas ass...

 

[Scottie Drippin]

Oh breh no hate, I dunno what I did but as you can see the team isn't even complete. You were my left back and freekick specialist on some Roberto Carlos shyt

 

[Gilver]

I'm CAM tbf, my creativity cannot be ignored.



And as for the pretending to be a sports star thing. I'm 6"2/6"3.

I can put on an american accent, i could tell people i am the only ever white person to dunk in the NBA. Someone would believe me.

Though problems may arise should i ever be asked to prove it.

 

[Liu Kang]

News from the french bench (nothing is sure by now) :

• Blanc most likely off and going to Tottenham
• Deschamps off from Marseille, heading to France coach position : boring play in perspective :/
• Nasri to be suspended for 2 years after several insults to the press (and idiotic/immature behavior)
• Ben Arfa, 4 games out, for blowing up the team after Sweden loss
• Menez, 4 games out for insulting Captain Lloris
• M'Vila, 4 games out for snobbing Blanc after Spain loss

If OFT were a soccer club, my 11 is looking like this

GK - yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo clearly. His studying of various foreign leagues would directly translate into burying himself in game footage of our opponents. He'd have the shooting tendencies of every player on Earth covered.

LB -

CB - Mastermind. An unwavering American presence to anchor the back line.

CB -

RB -

CDM - Glivbreh. You need consistency, reliability, and a penchant for fukkery from a defensive mid. His wumming tactics are throwing off the game of opposing playmakers, and his efficient and constant style means we're keeping possession.

CM - Kunty: Always posting = always showing up in games. Heart and soul of the team with no desire to be the face. He's just out there holding everything together.

CAM - Hollister. His game probably isn't suited to being an attacking mid at all, but he's Brazilian so he probably has either a sexy last name or ethnically relevant nickname that'll look proper above a 10

LWM - Frush: Maybe an alcoholic, but so are most virtuosos. His inability to respect the artistic quality of anything recent and/or mainstream is a clear sign of underlying genius. Our very own George Best, really.

RWM: Penfield: Frush's hipster anti-thesis. This is like Figo-Ronaldo at Euro 2004.

ST - Scorch: A striker needs to have a short memory. He can't tear himself up over misses, or let the media get in his head after a bad game. Scorch's ability to shamelessly start/stop dikkriding his brehs and ignore general consensus means he has the mental makeup of a proper number 9.

I'm taking the RB position. I like to defend, plus I got some speed to match opponent wingers. I'd prefer CB but I hate headers. Last time I tried one, I had a strong headache for 2 hours

 

[dennis roadman]

Oh breh no hate, I dunno what I did but as you can see the team isn't even complete. You were my left back and freekick specialist on some Roberto Carlos shyt

just tell me whose boots to kick all game and i'll tapdance on that bytch

 

[Mané Swagincha]

If OFT were a soccer club, my 11 is looking like this

GK - yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo clearly. His studying of various foreign leagues would directly translate into burying himself in game footage of our opponents. He'd have the shooting tendencies of every player on Earth covered.

LB -

CB - Mastermind. An unwavering American presence to anchor the back line.

CB -

RB -

CDM - Glivbreh. You need consistency, reliability, and a penchant for fukkery from a defensive mid. His wumming tactics are throwing off the game of opposing playmakers, and his efficient and constant style means we're keeping possession.

CM - Kunty: Always posting = always showing up in games. Heart and soul of the team with no desire to be the face. He's just out there holding everything together.

CAM - Hollister. His game probably isn't suited to being an attacking mid at all, but he's Brazilian so he probably has either a sexy last name or ethnically relevant nickname that'll look proper above a 10

LWM - Frush: Maybe an alcoholic, but so are most virtuosos. His inability to respect the artistic quality of anything recent and/or mainstream is a clear sign of underlying genius. Our very own George Best, really.

RWM: Penfield: Frush's hipster anti-thesis. This is like Figo-Ronaldo at Euro 2004.

ST - Scorch: A striker needs to have a short memory. He can't tear himself up over misses, or let the media get in his head after a bad game. Scorch's ability to shamelessly start/stop dikkriding his brehs and ignore general consensus means he has the mental makeup of a proper number 9.

Right on point with that position breh, I've got some ability but i get lazy from time to time, I'm Van Gogh on the pitch bruv, can paint a masterpiece of a pass, dribble, feinting and open up play, or i can be destructive if its not my day, not super fast, but I've got a mean shot and a killer through ball/pass. That's your typical Brazilian #10. Got to have my first name over the #10 jersey though, you already know how we do. You can picture me as a Diego type player, i kind of look like him also

 

[Mané Swagincha]

holli you see my boy valdivia redeem himself against gremio?

http://anongallery.org/img/2/7/win-mvpkeen.gif

He styled on them alright and you guys practically in the Libertadores already playing Coritiba in finals. You think Valdivia would stay if ya win Copa do Brasil and play Libertadores next season? Sure way to bring in more talent

 

[mastermind]

Hollister is like Lucas.

Everyone thinks he can attack cuz he from Brazil but then we found out really fast that he is just a runner.

 

[King Theo]

Hollister is like Lucas.

Everyone thinks he can attack cuz he from Brazil but then we found out really fast that he is just a runner.

 

[BOBN]

Giroud snubbed Chelsea to join Arsenal's French connection

New Arsenal striker Olivier Giroud has revealed he rejected the chance to join European champions Chelsea to sign for the Gunners.

The France star, aged 25, admitted the Gunners' French connection was a major factor in his decision to head to north, rather than west, London in a £13 million deal.

Giroud told French newspaper L'Equipe: 'Why did I choose Arsenal rather than Chelsea? Because it is a club I love. And I thought it would be easier for my adaptation.

'Arsenal is a great club, the facilities are wonderful, but I feel it is a club that takes big care before signing a player, notably considering human values.

'There are French players. There is also Arsene Wenger who let me understand he really wanted me.

'Chelsea is very nice, it is a great club, but I am not convinced (coach Roberto) Di Matteo knows who I am.'

scorcher

so what hes saying is he thinks di matteo doesnt know anything about european football

 

[King Theo]

no respect

capello would have taken one look at his first squad and been like probably the worst collection of players hes worked with in his life.

capello da gawd