NubianVitruvian
Retired
Aiit, I think this pursuit of knowledge for me started at around 13 when I decided to become a tattoo artist and/or whenever the Matrix came out. I had always grown up questioning the world. It astonished me how I was born into something that was this messed up and yet WE made this.
At a young age I was questioning them in Sunday School with stuff like "if I was born on an island and had no way of hearing the word of Christ, would Jesus keep me out of Heaven" The Answers I got never satisfied me as I could see those teaching me this were just making up that answer. If God was supposed to be as good as they say, why would He condone those who couldnt hear His word through Christ? It seemed to insult God and their human limitations.
Weird Thing Number 1 About me. I remember being in church, listening and looking and all this and thinking to myself "God I know its not like 'this'. Give me ________ and I will figure this out" Oddly enough, Im starting to get exactly what I asked for...even today.
Weird Fact 2. When I was 3-6 or w/e in Trinidad I was a bit of a smart ass. I remember telling someone I could spell "i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t-" I impressed myself with my ability to spell big words.
So flash forward, after to Church age. I argue against any and everything I can. Just poking holes in logic and what not. I stay like this up through high school. I was always the kid kinda finding the middle ground. I love the study of religion, politics, social science and people in general. I really did and do think the would can and should be set up to operate in a better way, and that this will change the type of people society produces. I just could not accept society. I still don't to a certain extent. I constantly remind myself its my choice to participate and everything is manmade. "Nothing is true, Everything is PERMITTED or AGREED upon" Language is the perfect example of this. English = blue = azul = Spanish.
I've had some experiences kinda push me in to the person I am now. Learning compassion, strength through kindness, etc. Always pursuing knowledge; Martial arts, drawing, music . I heard about the Tao and loved it. It wasnt about heaven or hell or damnation. It seemed to say HERE IS THE BASICS OF WHAT ALL THE OTHER RELIGIONS ARE TALKING ABOUT, BEFORE HUMANS INTERFERRED. That was another staple, the truth is the truth without human interference. I don't know why people feel the need to associate with Jesus or Mohammed. The Things they speak of ARE the Tao, just their translation of it. Good is good, despite what you believe.
Tattooing also lead me to shamanism. The power of symbology. Learning about Da Vinci opened me to the world as an art, Sacred Geometery. (I was voted to be the next Leonardo DaVinci in my HS, hence the screen name.) I love all myths, Japanese, Greek, Roman, Egyptian, etc. I believe these Gods are the Forces that are within Man, anthropromorphised to allow us to interact with them on a humane level . Zues IS Masculinity. Anubis IS the task of Reincarnation or Not. etc.
Then the whole "New Age" Movement. I started studying their claims, and experimenting with them in my own life. Simply hearing ideas like "The Akashic Records" and that everything, even your free will is already written. Just kinda clicked with me. Like, I choose who I wanted to be and I am becoming it. Despite my incredible amount of self doubt. Luckily, all this studying (especially sacred geometery) has allowed me to easily work with my natural talents, drawing. There is a certain power in being able to create for oneself. Money isnt an issue to me, I am an artist. A sketchbook in my hands is potentially alot of money. Depending on how good I am. This kind took the money issue off my mind while I studied but made me so slack.
Currently I feel I've done "enough" digging for now. I can walk around with this knowledge, but I am not very well adjusted to society like I used to be when younger. My own stubborness and inhibitions, and being unemployed. I'm actually a great guy but I think I'm "afraid of how powerful I am". I can be that cocky dude, but I prefer to chill. But I am erratic and animated at times. Holding myself back isnt helping, but I'm working on it, literally. Finish this tattoo, write an email, apply to my dream shop.
Everything is coming up Milhouse right now. I intend to do alot more with art and writing and this knowledge too. We shall see.
