...shyt is bordering on parody. I laughed HARD at that ending scene with the self-driving car.
They really thought audiences gave a fukk about Sally like that.
at the way Leatherface popped through them curtains on the bus. Like even he couldn’t believe he was partaking in this bullshyt. 
I didn’t realize until now one of the main actors (Jacob latitude) is also this singer
Am I the only one who remembers this?
Don’t let Leatherface get him
Yeah that Netflix leather face is garbage.
Gentrifying a ghost town in the middle of deeply red Texas makes zero sense...who would be the customer base for all of these shops they wanted to open? It's not like they found a distressed neighborhood in an otherwise functioning city; these people were going to put restaurants and art galleries in the sticks where their nearest neighbor was a dusty gas station.
My immediate thought right here.
My thoughts on the Netflix Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie:
1. The kills were pretty cool and awesomely gory.
2. The characters we were supposed to be rooting for were thoroughly unlikable a$$holes. The chick with the perm was just an awful character with zero rooting value. The black dude was an a$$hole who stole some old woman's house and contributed to her death. The cowboy was a dikk. The majority of the victims were gentrifying hipster douchebags. Sally was a crazy old loon. The one character with even an ounce of rootability was the younger sister but the woman playing the role was such a bad actress that she was too bland to give a damn about.
3. The movie took the angle that a couple of the other Chainsaw movies in recent years took where it made Leatherface basically the hero of the story who was out for revenge against people who legitimately wronged him. That is a horrible take to have for this character because the original movie established that Leatherface is just a hillbilly serial killer who murders people because he enjoys it. There should be no gray area with Leatherface ever.
4. Sally's return was not something anyone really was looking for so the way the movie tried to "Laurie Strode" a character that has never really been a revered Final Girl always seemed odd to me. But once the decision was made to bring her back as a Laurie Strode type of character it was pretty disappointing that she ended up being more of a Rob Dier from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.
5. Stupidity from horror movie characters is to be expected but there are limits to how stupid people can be before it starts to impact the enjoyment of the movie. This movie had nothing but idiots and everyone's reaction to everything in this movie came off like they all had traumatic brain injuries or something. I mean just the end where the sisters put the Tesla on autopilot so that they would be driving out of the town where all those people were murdered made absolutely no sense. There were a million different ways they could've had the surprise (but not really a surprise) return of Leatherface that didn't require these two women acting like they were leaving a fun day at Disneyland.
6. I would probably like this movie more if it just went for being a big, messy murder happy shlockfest but for some reason the folks behind this one wanted to try and have socially relevant messages in it that went over like a lead balloon. It wanted to make the point of how out of touch overly liberal gentrifiers are; tried to make a point about how clueless the social media cancel culture types are; wanted to have a message about school shootings that ended up being less about school shootings and more about how all a victim of a school shooting needed to get over their trauma is embrace gun culture.
The messaging was trash and it took what should've been mindless bloody fun into absolute bullshyt.
7. On a nitpicky personal level three things irked the hell out of me:
- A chubby 70 year old walking several miles while wearing denim overalls and work boots would need to take a nap before he would even think about going on a killing spree
- A chainsaw kept inside the wall of a crusty dusty old house wouldn't be able to cut through a tomato let alone human bodies and metal pipes like this one did
- Leatherface blocking bullets with his chainsaw like some hillbilly Wonder Woman was dumb as fukk
I give Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) 2 out of 4 Gun-Totin' Dr. Loomis'
I give it a 1 out of 4, chainsaw toting LeatherfaceMy thoughts on the Netflix Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie:
1. The kills were pretty cool and awesomely gory.
2. The characters we were supposed to be rooting for were thoroughly unlikable a$$holes. The chick with the perm was just an awful character with zero rooting value. The black dude was an a$$hole who stole some old woman's house and contributed to her death. The cowboy was a dikk. The majority of the victims were gentrifying hipster douchebags. Sally was a crazy old loon. The one character with even an ounce of rootability was the younger sister but the woman playing the role was such a bad actress that she was too bland to give a damn about.
3. The movie took the angle that a couple of the other Chainsaw movies in recent years took where it made Leatherface basically the hero of the story who was out for revenge against people who legitimately wronged him. That is a horrible take to have for this character because the original movie established that Leatherface is just a hillbilly serial killer who murders people because he enjoys it. There should be no gray area with Leatherface ever.
4. Sally's return was not something anyone really was looking for so the way the movie tried to "Laurie Strode" a character that has never really been a revered Final Girl always seemed odd to me. But once the decision was made to bring her back as a Laurie Strode type of character it was pretty disappointing that she ended up being more of a Rob Dier from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.
5. Stupidity from horror movie characters is to be expected but there are limits to how stupid people can be before it starts to impact the enjoyment of the movie. This movie had nothing but idiots and everyone's reaction to everything in this movie came off like they all had traumatic brain injuries or something. I mean just the end where the sisters put the Tesla on autopilot so that they would be driving out of the town where all those people were murdered made absolutely no sense. There were a million different ways they could've had the surprise (but not really a surprise) return of Leatherface that didn't require these two women acting like they were leaving a fun day at Disneyland.
6. I would probably like this movie more if it just went for being a big, messy murder happy shlockfest but for some reason the folks behind this one wanted to try and have socially relevant messages in it that went over like a lead balloon. It wanted to make the point of how out of touch overly liberal gentrifiers are; tried to make a point about how clueless the social media cancel culture types are; wanted to have a message about school shootings that ended up being less about school shootings and more about how all a victim of a school shooting needed to get over their trauma is embrace gun culture.
The messaging was trash and it took what should've been mindless bloody fun into absolute bullshyt.
7. On a nitpicky personal level three things irked the hell out of me:
- A chubby 70 year old walking several miles while wearing denim overalls and work boots would need to take a nap before he would even think about going on a killing spree
- A chainsaw kept inside the wall of a crusty dusty old house wouldn't be able to cut through a tomato let alone human bodies and metal pipes like this one did
- Leatherface blocking bullets with his chainsaw like some hillbilly Wonder Woman was dumb as fukk
I give Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) 2 out of 4 Gun-Totin' Dr. Loomis'
damn lol