Essential The Mental Health Thread

[DrX]

ive been so deep into darkness , i had to covert into a zen way of thinking, and try to detach my from worldly desires..... it helps....not not in a good way, it just keep me detached and numb to failure...its not a positive thing, more like a neutral thing...it keeps me calm....i walk around feeling hollow....like a machine...ppl stare and i cant even muster up the energy to feel self conscious or even care ....I'm a shell

....i feel empty...i always have, since my teenage years ......ive been cursed with the ability to observe the world in a certain light...i don't know why...but i cant seem to find the good in anything....i just cant, even when i try...maybe I'm mentally ill? i don't really know...all I see is the wrong in society

I have big plans and even bigger obstacles standing in my way ..... I don't know how much longer I can fight, I feel weak sometimes, but continue to grind for something thtas not even guaranteed .....something that's totally unrealistic to the avg person but i don't have a plan b....so I'm in a weird space....I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, but at the same time i cant live the conventional 9 to 5 lifestyle....so i don't know .... i have no choice to succeed at what I do....I don't even love it anymore...once business is added to the mix, your passion for your craft dies...its not even fun anymore, but its the only thing that can change my life and others around me...I feel alot of pressure.....ppl tell me im talented but don't understand its something dark that drive me, its not because I love what I do

Im about to move soon, which is a plus.... im trying to succeed but also run away from past...and create a new life....hopefully this time I can make it right...but knowing self destructive me, ill probably fukk it up like I usually do....Im afraid of success, I feel like I was a born loser, trying to cheat my fate and flip my cards .. ...my self esteem was so low, the thought of me becoming something in this society was so far out of reach and took alot of soul searching and many battles to reverse it .... but im ready to go all out and not hold back...Im very confident and determined this time.... and have a wisdom my competitors probably never had to gain

 

[Apex]

Beautiful thread.

 

[Insun Park]

I hate myself and would do anything to be part of another race.

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

I hate myself and would do anything to be part of another race.

why tho?

 

[Giselle]

Idk I've been lying since I was a little dude.
I think I'm suicidal and have anxiety because of money issues but I've been making more dough lately and been able to buy and do shyt again and my moods haven't improved really.

My depression is from my overarching thoughts that all of this shyt ends in death and there's no real purpose in life but to survive until you can't anymore

You should be seeing a therapist. Are you?

I'm fukked up. I can't see me having kids. I'd love to be married. I never was the type to just fukk for the sake of it. the game got me down bad. I don't trust women.

How?

Great thread, the shyt going on in the world in relation to us, and pretty much our entire lives as African Americans can have our brothers and sisters feeling depressed, helpless and low self esteem



The Mexican @Cocaine Biceps thinks mental illness specifically black mental illness is a joke and you are "beta" if suffering from it.

He also compares the plight of Mexicans to black Americans and figures lts equal

He's a crackhead, just ignore him.

I hate myself and would do anything to be part of another race.

Are you white? I would too, sorry

 

[Dee_Roso]

Truehope and EMPowerplus Conditions

 

[Afro]

I was diagnosed with ptsd

My girl says I got pure o and a borderline personality disorder. She a counsellor.

I feel good doe. I'm also a liar, been living lies for so long now.

Dude, I've lied so much in my life it's crazy. Too well, it rarely ever came back on me. That was the part I hated the most, so I stopped cold turkey. If I needed to lie, I needed to take the lick and keep moving pain be damned.

It was so bad I would lie about the dumbest shyt

But I'm glad you still feel good

You won't solve everything

But it all can be handled

I'm angry when I workout throughout my daily life and period. My workouts are motivated by straight anger. I'm cool and resolved with my people but people always tell me I look mean and I never understood it

I had court ordered anger management in prison but it didn't help at all. I swear to god if I could blow everything in existence up I would no hesitation...

Its cool but whatever. It's crazy because I love myself and don't have self confidence issues at all, i 100% love myself. No money issues, I have my own or worry any of that shyt but there's nothing after this so why not have a full reset.

I want a son and I've been told that my outlook on things would change drastically after. The only thing keepin me sane tbh because I have zero regard for human life moreso than I care about steppin on an ant.

If we just bein real then here it is...I don't know or care what the future holds at this point I'm just here for the ride. It's crazy as hell because even tho I feel like it's a million nikkas like me I'm still on an island.

shyt is crazy

I'm always angry man. I'm told that all the time. When a girl tells you that you're the angriest person they know

But you have great self confidence so that is half the battle won. Anger that lasts for a long time comes from a deep place.

You definitely not alone man, but your right at the end of the day your living your life. Helps to have like minded people to kick it with for a brief time to let it out though.

Oh and the gym, I started going last month and it changes everything.

 

[Insun Park]

why tho?

I just feel like other people of my race are pushing the envelope way too far and the backlash is eventually going to be catastrophic for all of us. People are irrational and make decisions with their emotions and not logic. I think people who look like me are going to start a war that we're not prepared for and cannot win and that we're setting ourselves up for the most humiliating group loss since the Germans in WW2

I've always been discontent with my race for dozens of reasons but this is just the latest thing

 

[Luck]

Well now me thinkin back into it, I'm lyin... I know exactly why I'm mad...I'm mad at myself. I singlehandedly raised the academic test scores of the schools I was at. Got sent to a gifted school on top of a double promotion ( went from 4 straight to 7th grade ), said fukk that, was extremely talented at sports had broads lushin over me all that shyt but was too immature to capitalize on the shyt worth capitolizing on and ended up doin dumb shyt gang bang and then I'm in prison. And my family had high expections for me, no lie and take this how y'all want to take it but I let em down it will even come up in convos with my parents on some jokin shyt like " you supposed to bought me a house by now "

Now I'm not havin no pity party or shyt like that because once again. I love myself just talkin but not gonna lie even tho I'm good where I'm at for the average person, but however people want to take it I'm above average in damn near every aspect. I left so much shyt on the table.

shyt is neither here nor there ain't no lookin back and im done with it after this topic. Not really no discussion you can have outside of here, it is what it is

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

You should be seeing a therapist. Are you?


How?



He's a crackhead, just ignore him.

I'm going on 34 I feel like I should have skeeted in one of them no nothing ass chicks when i was 22 i feel like im to old to have kids even tho my pops had me at 34 and my sis at 37. i feel like my intelligence surpasses my credentials. I'm not successful but I'm not an idiot. so I'm trapped between dealing with less intelligent women and more successful women.

 

[Redwood]

I've struggled with depression and mood swings at times. It's mainly from me realizing how the world is and how people are.

 

[Giselle]

I'm going on 34 I feel like I should have skeeted in one of them no nothing ass chicks when i was 22 i feel like im to old to have kids even tho my pops had me at 34 and my sis at 37. i feel like my intelligence surpasses my credentials. I'm not successful but I'm not an idiot. so I'm trapped between dealing with less intelligent women and more successful women.

You're a man, so you're kind of never too old to have kids (anything over 50 is too old imo, but your sperm will still work at that age).
Why do you say you aren't successful?
Are you seeing a therapist?

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

I just feel like other people of my race are pushing the envelope way too far and the backlash is eventually going to be catastrophic for all of us. People are irrational and make decisions with their emotions and not logic. I think people who look like me are going to start a war that we're not prepared for and cannot win and that we're setting ourselves up for the most humiliating group loss since the Germans in WW2

I've always been discontent with my race for dozens of reasons but this is just the latest thing

you kinda going overboard but i can dig it. I went from a private elementary school to a middle and high school in the hood. LOL. I called Jordans Michael Jordans. you would think i commited a crime. luckily i could rap.

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

You're a man, so you're kind of never too old to have kids (anything over 50 is too old imo, but your sperm will still work at that age).
Why do you say you aren't successful?
Are you seeing a therapist?

Just cause I can have kids at 50 doesnt mean i regret not having them earlier. I mean to be honest all my homies had kids by at least 23 and thats not even their first. as far as success goes. I'm not 6 certs 6 cars and 6 houses up. so i feel some kind of way lol.

 

[Insun Park]

you kinda going overboard but i can dig it. I went from a private elementary school to a middle and high school in the hood. LOL. I called Jordans Michael Jordans. you would think i commited a crime. luckily i could rap.

I don't think so

I predict shyts going to hit the fan in the next decade if irrational extremists don't chill out (which they won't due to social media allowing people to analyze every single incident)