Essential The Mental Health Thread

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

I'm a fighter motherfukker and I get in where I fit in...like yall ain't really helping yall on some bullshyt...just shut up and leave me alone...you don't fukkkng know my struggle.

 

[Nature's Fury]

i have a smorgasbord of mental health issues and haven't had insurance for the past three years so i can't see anybody about it...music is pretty much the only thing saving me right now...

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

i have a smorgasbord of mental health issues and haven't had insurance for the past three years so i can't see anybody about it...music is pretty much the only thing saving me right now...

I feel ya. Music and skateboarding and making art has helped me out.

And now I have almost 20 years worth of music that I've posted online that I don't know what to do with.

I guess much of my depression comes from the fact I feel under utilized and therefore I feel like I really have no purpose. Very few jobs have offered me a position and when they do they're worthless low wage paying jobs...I just tend to think to myself did I go to college for this?

I'm fighting here in New York cause I at least know with all of my connections I've made here I could at least find some moderate success applying my creative talents.

As well much of my depression comes from being broke for almost 13 years since I started college...I just want to see some goddamn success in my life for once. I have all of these ideas penned down on how to make money but without any money to start how the he'll am I gonna get it going? I'm sick and tired of reading about how this coli nikka is making this much money and how they have mad dimes and how how they travel while I'm still broke at 30 and trying to get my life off the ground after graduating with this worthless degree while they are years younger than me.

I hate how this thing called life is so goddamn hard! While everybody else seems to have the game set on easy...

 

[Audemar]

I can't deal with this shyt anymore. People disgust me.
I'm really just thinking about offing myself today cause I don't want to be anymore of a failure then I already am. And this is no bullshyt either. This existence is a fukking nightmare.

Keep your head up breh. You don't even have to concern yourself with what people thinkand you certainly don't need to fit in with the average mold (go to school, slave your life away, then retire); try to find things that interest you and can keep you motivated. I'd recommend traveling, if possible, especially outside of the US and not to a country with a similar setup. Most people won't/don't want to admit, but life in America is misery-inducing. I could very well offer you painless methods of suicide, per your earlier request, but you're a good poster. More importantly, death is too final and the impact suicide has on those left behind is far too devastating.

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

Keep your head up breh. You don't even have to concern yourself with what people thinkand you certainly don't need to fit in with the average mold (go to school, slave your life away, then retire); try to find things that interest you and can keep you motivated. I'd recommend traveling, if possible, especially outside of the US and not to a country with a similar setup. Most people won't/don't want to admit, but life in America is misery-inducing. I could very well offer you painless methods of suicide, per your earlier request, but you're a good poster. More importantly, death is too final and the impact suicide has on those left behind is far too devastating.

Props breh...I think I just need to get out of the USA for a bit...

Battling depression is rough but I have triumphed...so I think about that as inspiration to keep going...

 

[Ronald McDonald]

presentation went horrible but fukk it least i got it over with

 

[Dragonfly Jones]

I can't deal with this shyt anymore. People disgust me.
I'm really just thinking about offing myself today cause I don't want to be anymore of a failure then I already am. And this is no bullshyt either. This existence is a fukking nightmare.

Most ppl are just completely selfish and sh1ttty human beings, this very forum is a prime example of that


Just igg em and keep it moving, dont let the actions of a few ruin the experience (which is what existence is) for u. Focus on the positives and small things and keep it moving


if u can't enjoy the little things then as Kenttv says "u just dont stand a chance"

 

[okra]

my mum is angry at me for skipping school and i dont know how to explain what is going on with me to her. i have spoken to my teachers and they think the reason i dont get it is because im not listening in class. no one cares about what i am going through and that makes it 100 times worse.

 

[Pazzy]

i would be lying if i said that i wasn't depressed and feeling shytty myself though this is nothing new. the craziest thing is that the smallest things could trigger my shyt and ruin my mood. i can turn around and blame whoever or whatever for me feeling down BUT you know what.... it's just me. been dealing with this for years. however, i guess i'm NOT that fukked up because haven't tried to kill myself nor do i want to ever think of that though sometimes, it pops up. i'm determined to not let my problems or my emotions get the best of me. i know for the past how many years instead of crying physically, i cry through writing a shytload of words on the computer where i would basically complain about whatever was bothering me.

now i'm like whatever. i'm determined to not like this get the best of me where i let myself be controlled by my emotions instead of me having my emotions under controlled. i certainly don't act out on them in a way where i show them.

i've grown to except that things aren't that bad and no matter how BAD they get to keep on fighting and standing up. i refuse to let anything tear me under or give up on life even if i feel as if life has given up on me. for the past 10 years, i've been in the same boat and that's mostly due to me being lazy as hell and not being motivated where i simply have given up. i'm TRYING to fight this state of mind and bad habits which get in the way of me not doing what i have to do. a part of it is fear, a part of it is fear of change and etc. well, i'm unemployed, have a hard time finding a job that i want, am not happy with the jobs that i've received, am having a bit of a problem with my sexual orientation, am not doing the things i want to do in regards to that and feel as if i'm not where i want to be in life. i know what i have to do BUT it seems like it's so much that i don't even want to start. it's like why bother when it feels like i have to fukking climb a wall. it's like what i want is a dream and what i'm going to receive is a nightmare or something that i don't want. so it's like why bother. i feel as if i know what my fate is. one thing that annoys me and i'll admit it is that i see people who are doing WAY better than me.. folks that are WORKING, are making MONEY, actually DATING, have DATED, having sex and whatever the fukk and living LIFE actually talking about how depressed they are and struggling. i'm not saying that my shyt is worse than others because i know some people in some really fukked up situations where i realized that my situation in itself is not bad compared to theirs or it could be worse BUT if you're actually able to hold your own out here and have something to show for it, be thankful and appreciative of that shyt. folks don't know how fukking frustrating and angering it is when you see others all coming up, being able to do their thing and here i am all struggling to get one fukking thing done. hell, i get really angry at myself at that shyt and i know folks answer is "it's your fault". i'm not looking for sympathy. i'm just trying to come up like everyone else is and basically overcome the bullshyt that is within me that is keeping me from doing what i need to do. hell, the joys i had are all going away one by one and whatever little joys i have left, they are temporary where i find myself back right to deal with my problems. i'm trying to take my friends advice on thinking about happy thoughts through memories and it was working before but right now it's not.

weird because i had that motivation and drive back how many years ago when i was like 20 and 16... now that is long gone. sometimes, i think that it might be the depression or me being really lazy. i've graduated college not really having a plan to what i wanted to do. i simply picked a major to get my mom off my back because she would be basically overcritical about things and expects no excuses. so here i am with a degree in a field that i really have little career options with, trying to do something that i'm interested in but it doesn't seem to be working out for me.

so naw, i'm good. don't want to feel sorry for myself but i'd be lying if i said that shyt was something that i could control. it's NOT. it's torture being depressed and feeling like this. however, i'm too stubborn and strong willed to do some shyt like commit suicide or some wild shyt like that. i would rather suffer than to quit. the thing that kills me is that i'm also too stubborn to fukking change or to at least roll with the change. i had a job back in january but i quite that shyt because it wasn't what i wanted to do and on top of that, the employers were wilding out. now i'm looking for another job and a bit nervous that the job might be something as shytty.

 

[Tikal]

I've really been feeling like killing myself today.
I lost my meds almost two weeks ago and they were the only thing keeping me intact.

All these fukking a$$holes on here will finally get their wish...Although I wish I could kill their bytch asses.

I'm 30 years old and just a fukking failure.
Never had a relationship that lasted more than three months.
Never had a job that lasted more than four.
Never made more than $5,000 on my own in a year.
Thought this last job would be awesome but low and behold I quit and it didn't even last a week.
Deep down inside I know all of these coli a$$holes use me as leverage to feel better about their lives and would laugh if they knew how I was really living.
I've tried committing suicide before and failed cause I knew my family would never get over it.

But honestly, being black, african, West Indian, male in this hellish country I'll feel like I'll never be happy.

I can't relate to many people here...I'm just alone all the time and frankly it's becoming a burden on itself.

I give up on life, people, and this nightmarish society.
Frankly if anybody can suggest the most painless method of killing myself I'll rep you.

Don't do it breh. My brother commited suicide over depression and waht you describe is similar to what he was feeling.
He was over 30 and feeling like a failure and isolated and felt like he couldn't relate to people here.
I think we look to much at what society considers success and put to much pressure on ourselves instead of working at our own pace to reach our goals.
But trust me family will be left in a lot of hurt if you commit that

Weed + Fruits + vegetables + daily workout routine + eastern philosophy + a hobby/hobbies you love and enjoy = depression eliminated brehs

^I agree with most of this to get over depression, not saying it's going to be easy but one has to try and never give up. Is what I try to do because it seems like depression runs in my family.

 

[SirReginald]

I'm a fighter motherfukker and I get in where I fit in...like yall ain't really helping yall on some bullshyt...just shut up and leave me alone...you don't fukkkng know my struggle.

I know how it feels man. You will be alright and people here support you. Just keep on having high hopes brotha.

 

[The Mad Titan]

i would be lying if i said that i wasn't depressed and feeling shytty myself though this is nothing new. the craziest thing is that the smallest things could trigger my shyt and ruin my mood. i can turn around and blame whoever or whatever for me feeling down BUT you know what.... it's just me. been dealing with this for years. however, i guess i'm NOT that fukked up because haven't tried to kill myself nor do i want to ever think of that though sometimes, it pops up. i'm determined to not let my problems or my emotions get the best of me. i know for the past how many years instead of crying physically, i cry through writing a shytload of words on the computer where i would basically complain about whatever was bothering me.

now i'm like whatever. i'm determined to not like this get the best of me where i let myself be controlled by my emotions instead of me having my emotions under controlled. i certainly don't act out on them in a way where i show them.

i've grown to except that things aren't that bad and no matter how BAD they get to keep on fighting and standing up. i refuse to let anything tear me under or give up on life even if i feel as if life has given up on me. for the past 10 years, i've been in the same boat and that's mostly due to me being lazy as hell and not being motivated where i simply have given up. i'm TRYING to fight this state of mind and bad habits which get in the way of me not doing what i have to do. a part of it is fear, a part of it is fear of change and etc. well, i'm unemployed, have a hard time finding a job that i want, am not happy with the jobs that i've received, am having a bit of a problem with my sexual orientation, am not doing the things i want to do in regards to that and feel as if i'm not where i want to be in life. i know what i have to do BUT it seems like it's so much that i don't even want to start. it's like why bother when it feels like i have to fukking climb a wall. it's like what i want is a dream and what i'm going to receive is a nightmare or something that i don't want. so it's like why bother. i feel as if i know what my fate is. one thing that annoys me and i'll admit it is that i see people who are doing WAY better than me.. folks that are WORKING, are making MONEY, actually DATING, have DATED, having sex and whatever the fukk and living LIFE actually talking about how depressed they are and struggling. i'm not saying that my shyt is worse than others because i know some people in some really fukked up situations where i realized that my situation in itself is not bad compared to theirs or it could be worse BUT if you're actually able to hold your own out here and have something to show for it, be thankful and appreciative of that shyt. folks don't know how fukking frustrating and angering it is when you see others all coming up, being able to do their thing and here i am all struggling to get one fukking thing done. hell, i get really angry at myself at that shyt and i know folks answer is "it's your fault". i'm not looking for sympathy. i'm just trying to come up like everyone else is and basically overcome the bullshyt that is within me that is keeping me from doing what i need to do. hell, the joys i had are all going away one by one and whatever little joys i have left, they are temporary where i find myself back right to deal with my problems. i'm trying to take my friends advice on thinking about happy thoughts through memories and it was working before but right now it's not.

weird because i had that motivation and drive back how many years ago when i was like 20 and 16... now that is long gone. sometimes, i think that it might be the depression or me being really lazy. i've graduated college not really having a plan to what i wanted to do. i simply picked a major to get my mom off my back because she would be basically overcritical about things and expects no excuses. so here i am with a degree in a field that i really have little career options with, trying to do something that i'm interested in but it doesn't seem to be working out for me.

so naw, i'm good. don't want to feel sorry for myself but i'd be lying if i said that shyt was something that i could control. it's NOT. it's torture being depressed and feeling like this. however, i'm too stubborn and strong willed to do some shyt like commit suicide or some wild shyt like that. i would rather suffer than to quit. the thing that kills me is that i'm also too stubborn to fukking change or to at least roll with the change. i had a job back in january but i quite that shyt because it wasn't what i wanted to do and on top of that, the employers were wilding out. now i'm looking for another job and a bit nervous that the job might be something as shytty.

You described me in alot of ways, so I'll say this, you probably have mad potential. That ish is just locked away deep, really deep. It was with me, and I just recently in the last year or so started unlocking it. And I still relapse back all the time.

I was confused on if I was just that lazy and stubborn or if I had a problem. Its hard to talk to people about because they just hit you with "Your being lazy" for me it wasn't just being lazy, even for things I was legit excited to do....It was a struggle to finish and get started.


Diet, medicine, health, and being around other people who are motivated and on the go helps tremendously. Go see a doctor, I dont like taking meds but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.

 

[A_Jerk_like_Kanye]

I'm pretty sure I have something but I doubt I'll ever get tested anytime soon (I don't want to take any meds that's not MJ even though I'm pretty interested in Adderall). Just gotta work a little harder now

 

[wet landscapes]

every morning when I wake up, I just lie there for a long time
I just sit there not wanting to get up or start my day or do anything
even when I have free time or make plans to do things for work and school, I just end up doing nothing
I can't concentrate on anything thats not on the internet
I'm fukking up really simple tasks at work
I'm interested in other people but if they get near me or look at me, I get really irritated
whats wrong with me

 

[iBrowse]

How does meditation work exactly