Essential The Mental Health Thread

Dave24

Dave24

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Bossino said:
Moving from SD to LB only compounded issues, the move wasn't smooth, the acclimation has been so-so and on top of it now I gotta fix the whip.

As for rn, reading this as I write it checking for grammatical errors/typos I sound like a miserable fukk, but really I am, I just have become good at hiding it/putting on a face. I have nothing man like finishing school, is cool, but I honestly should have, already. Then what get a job in a country that could fold in 15-20? Or move to another place that I'll have to adapt to/learn just to keep place (Canada) to avoid mass violence, but still deal with mild racism? Frankly I'm mad bitter, but in a lowkey way about how at every step everyone has said the next level would be where the fun is in elementary --> middle school would be cool, get there and its the same with more work middle school --> jr. high would be cool, get there and its the same with more, and it goes on to adulthood, I'm finishing up school and I'm realizing there never was better the most part. More possibilities? of course, but the probabilities just seemed to flat line if not dip towards more Ls being taken. They say it's not how many times you fall down, but how many you get up, but a nikka just wants to lie on the floor and die at times (not pragmatic, because bills, time, etc. continue to progress, so suicide would be more apt), but everything just seems like a compromise to keep playing a game you lose at with regularity. It's like baseball but my career average is .150, at some point even being in the lineup seems like a waste of everyone's time including your own

I understand the possibility of a home, or a family, etc. keeps people interested but with home prices in (desirable parts of) America that shyt ain't happening and with the quality of women in aggregate moreover the quality women who acknowledge my existence those odds are cooked as well. If I make it to getting older/late 30s I adopt, but more so to make a difference/do a good deed not be a whole ass waste of oxygen/resources than out of pure desire for being a parent/guardian.

With what this unexpected expense will do to my finances nah, I'm not trying any new food. I bushed TV after Power made the fakkit son the main character. I only watch sports for TB12 and Bron (last of the dudes I grew up on). I have music but lately I've been to busy and in too poor of mood to enjoy listening to music I haven't heard yet (older albums and new material).

To be fair the car accident/necessary repairs dampens my mood even further because the one thing I have to my name, and really more accurately the one nice thing I have to my name isn't in proper condition, but a few days ago when it was fine. I still had random bouts of existential dread in between trying to complete daily tasks.

I'll try the journaling and I appreciate the well wishes but frankly I've been unhappy for years, but this hollow/meaningless/endless setback rut feels like it's going for a solid 10-12 months, so when progress does come it just feels overdue, and like the least I could get. At least 1-2 times a week I go to sleep genuinely wishing I just wouldn't wake up. It's whatever, last time I felt genuine joy (no weed) was when Magic dropped from Nas, for a 3 hours I had excitement to listen to the project, and appreciation that something unexpected had happened and it was good.
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@Bossino how are things going?
 
L

letti cook

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im spending the weekend with my family and im stressing the fukk out about it

im always fukked up before and after i spend time with them which is why i very rarely do so

my fam aint even that bad its just unresolved issues from past neglect....and i hate that i gotta play nice with people that i really wanna curse the fukk out

i always feel like i have to defend how i turned out as a person...like i let everybody down or some shyt...when reality is they let me down like shyt and i made the best out of my situation. i should be proud and comfortable about that..instead, my mind is already writing clap backs to the inevitable bullshyt they're going to say to me.

doesnt help that the water at my place is fukked up and im having issues with my hearing...dreading having to get it checked out next week

in general, im just feeling super low and alone

need a fast forward button

update:
everything worked out like shyt

water got fixed....got my ears checked out/treated...none of my fam I have issues with showed up to the shindig, so it was just a love fest amongst the ones who did... got happy wasted at the function, woke up with no hangover....all is well

:ehh:
 
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semicko82

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letti cook said:
im spending the weekend with my family and im stressing the fukk out about it

im always fukked up before and after i spend time with them which is why i very rarely do so

my fam aint even that bad its just unresolved issues from past neglect....and i hate that i gotta play nice with people that i really wanna curse the fukk out

i always feel like i have to defend how i turned out as a person...like i let everybody down or some shyt...when reality is they let me down like shyt and i made the best out of my situation. i should be proud and comfortable about that..instead, my mind is already writing clap backs to the inevitable bullshyt they're going to say to me.

doesnt help that the water at my place is fukked up and im having issues with my hearing...dreading having to get it checked out next week

in general, im just feeling super low and alone

need a fast forward button
Click to expand...
How did they let you down
 
Mandarin Duck

Mandarin Duck

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I've started using this app called Habitica that turns your life into an RPG game and it's really helped me get motivated to actually do stuff.

You create personalized daily goals that give you experience points and help you level up. If you don't perform your daily task, your character takes damage.

It's been a great way to help me stay focused
 
MenacingMonk

MenacingMonk

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West where the Sunsets
I would say since Fall 2020 I've been having issues with my anger. In 2021 it was the worst. I would start having crazy thoughts about "what if..." and it just made me irritated and fueled my ugly side. Pretty sure it played a part in getting head pains and feeling mentally off; that and some anxiety and stress had me feeling like shyt on certain days. Only weed would subside it. Over the last year I've done better with keeping it in check, but I'd still have my days. Recently I started listening to Jazz/classical music before bed and it's helped a lot with my mood and mental health. Haven't blazed since July.

Now I need to work on not letting things annoy me.
 
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