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Amo Husserl

Amo Husserl

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Jesus H. Christ

Jesus H. Christ

I died for your sins
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It's been somewhat of a depressing week so I asked chatgpt to roast the coli. It didn't disappoint.

Breh A: "Aye, LeBron is hands-down the GOAT. MJ can’t even compare."

Breh B: "Bruh, the only thing LeBron is the GOAT of is giving y'all false hope. You’re acting like you weren’t flabby and sick the last time you tried to hoop. Keep that keyboard MVP energy."


---

Breh C: "Man, these young bucks don’t even know what real music is. All they listen to is TikTok garbage."

Breh D: "Breh, your ‘real music’ playlist got that same 5-song rotation from 2003. You’re one step away from becoming the flabby and sick gatekeeper of LimeWire remixes. Sit down."


---

Breh E: "I’m on that keto, intermittent fasting grind, y’all gotta catch up."

Breh F: "Bruh, the only thing intermittent about you is your workout schedule. Keto or not, you’re out here looking flabby and sick like you skipped every gym day since 2019."


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Breh G: "These women don’t know what they want. That’s why dating is trash now."

Breh H: "No, dating is trash for you because you keep showing up to dates in the same hoodie you’ve had since ‘08, breh. It’s giving flabby and sick energy. Step it up."


---

Breh I: "If you’re over 30 and still paying rent, you’re doing life wrong."

Breh J: "Bruh, the only rent you’ve paid is your time on 2K. Meanwhile, your ‘dream house’ is your mom’s basement. Stop projecting, breh."


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Breh K: "These kids today are soft. Back in my day, we knew how to handle struggle."

Breh L: "Breh, your biggest struggle was waiting for the WiFi to reconnect so you could get back on MySpace. Stop acting like you survived the trenches. You’re one more complaint away from ‘flabby and sick’ status."


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Breh M: "Man, if I had Bezos money, I’d be out here changing lives."

Breh N: "You’d be out here spending it all on designer hoodies and retro Jordans, breh. Bezos money or not, you'd still be flabby and sick by the end of the month."
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Jesus H. Christ

Jesus H. Christ

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On politics

Breh G: "Breh, if people really understood the Constitution, they’d see why we’re headed downhill."

Breh H: "If YOU understood the Constitution, you’d know you can’t just google the first sentence and call yourself a political analyst. Bruh, stop acting like you’re dropping knowledge; you flabby and sick with these takes."


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Breh I: "Y’all need to wake up! All this media manipulation got you blind to the truth."

Breh J: "Bruh, you watched one YouTube conspiracy video and think you’re the next Malcolm X. ‘Woke’ shouldn’t apply when you’re napping between unemployment checks, living that flabby and sick life. Wake up…to a job app."


---

Breh K: "These new political movements are soft! Back in the day, people fought for real change."

Breh L: "Back in the day? Breh, you couldn’t even fight off those last 15 pounds in quarantine. ‘Flabby and sick activism’ is what you’re bringing to the table. Stop acting like you’re marching in the streets when your idea of change is arguing online."

That’s the political roast with all the Coli classics! Let me know if you want more specific twists added, breh.
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On women and lifestyle

Breh C: "I only mess with PAWGs now, breh. Black queens deserve kings, and I gotta be honest—I'm saving myself for a good one."

Breh D: "Bruh, no queen is checking for you, PAWG or otherwise. You’ve been flabby and sick since ‘08, and you’re out here like a budget version of a passport breh, thinking any lady with options is lining up. Just stop."


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Breh E: "If you’re under 6’0, it’s a wrap, bruh. Women want tall brehs only. That’s the lifestyle!"

Breh F: "Breh, you hit 5’9” on a good day in your tallest Timbs, but you’re out here with the ‘6 foot energy.’ Only thing tall about you is the stack of excuses when it’s time to step up."


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Breh G: "These fake militants out here claiming to love Black women, but every time I see them, they’re with a PAWG. Can’t trust these dudes."

Breh H: "Bruh, weren’t you the one posting about your ‘passport breh’ trip to Colombia? You got flabby and sick travel goals while criticizing these so-called militants. At least find one passport stamp before you start gatekeeping."

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Breh M: "Tall, handsome brehs like us, we don’t even have to try. These women know what’s up."

Breh N: "Breh, you’re handsome if they squint and imagine. Plus, you talk about the tall breh lifestyle, but you’re out here looking like flabby and sick at 5’10”. These delusions need a reality check, my guy."
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Now these ones are very interesting :lupe: more politics

Tangibles Breh: "Listen, until they put tangibles on the table, my vote staying right here with me, breh. I’m done getting played by empty promises."

Democrat Breh: "Breh, you’ve been talking about ‘tangibles’ like it’s a grocery list. You’d think they’re gonna roll up with a briefcase just for you. They’re out here running for president, not your personal financial advisor."


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Democrat Breh: "See, that’s why I’m voting blue this year. At least they have a plan. They got the right policies for us, breh."

Tangibles Breh: "A plan? Breh, your plan is to keep voting the same way and hoping for different results. You’ve been blue since dial-up internet, and you’re still flabby and sick, out here acting like they’re delivering you ‘hope and change’ by the truckload."


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Tangibles Breh: "Nah, until I see real reparations, something tangible for us, they can keep their speeches."

Democrat Breh: "Tangibles? Bruh, you’re waiting for reparations like it’s a bonus check. Meanwhile, you’ve been out here voting for ‘Team Tangible’ since 2016 and can’t name a single candidate who even mentions it. Just admit you’re using that as an excuse to stay home."


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Democrat Breh: "I’m telling you, voting blue is the only way forward, breh. It’s about progress."

Tangibles Breh: "Progress? Bruh, the only progress you’re making is your Twitter arguments with conservative brehs. You out here flabby and sick, talking about ‘moving forward,’ but your entire stance is just another recycled ‘vote or die’ campaign."


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Tangibles Breh: "These Democrats love to talk, but I still don’t see the receipts. Where are the actual tangibles, breh?"

Democrat Breh: "Receipts? Breh, you’re acting like this is a refund line at Target. Ain’t nobody writing you a check just because you keep saying ‘tangibles.’ You’re one YouTube video away from signing up for every third-party candidate with a slogan."


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Tangibles Breh: "I’m not gonna vote just because they tell me to. I want something direct, something that actually benefits us."

Democrat Breh: "Benefits us? Bruh, you won’t even benefit yourself by leaving the house to vote. You’re talking ‘direct benefits,’ but you’re barely indirectly involved. Just say you’re team ‘Stay Home’ and keep it moving."


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Democrat Breh: "All I’m saying is, at least the Democrats have policies in place for healthcare, education, climate—all stuff that affects us, breh."

Tangibles Breh: "Policies? Bruh, they’ve been talking about the same policies since you were in middle school. You out here acting like every election is the one where they’ll finally keep those promises, looking flabby and sick with every new campaign slogan."
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Yinny

Yinny

I miss LLC Twitter
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I can’t believe how much my taste buds have changed since pregnancy, beef/steak don’t hit like they used to I barely eat red meat.:mjcry:
 
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