Ever get to the point where you just dont give a fukk that you just cant do anything? Dont care to because its like i dont care. I feel emotionally and mentally ive given a lot out that people dont know about. Its tough being alone and having to live with my thoughts and feelings. Ive done the whole "woe is me, feel sorry for yourself, life is terrible, be suicidal" routine already when i was younger. Its not it.
shyt was killing me like i couldnt breathe thinking about certain things that werent changing and were/are getting worse. Its like i didnt learn how to properly manage that pain or stress so im trying to numb it instead of suffering in silence. I literally am trying to unfreeze myself as in Im stuck.
like stuck on some sub zero shyt. Im really annoyed and bored to be honest because i would like to go outside but dont feel like it or have a reason too. I like the visuals.. i just wanna chill out today but not sleep the entire day away. Personally, i dont like being bored and need to feel stimulated during the day. When its the night, im more comfortable.
The alternative to this would be driving north on 95 right now driving trying to hide from my hurt and boredom.